Trying to deal with it all, and it's just killing me
My husband and I r currently soeparated, he told me its because I have anger issues as he just can't deal with it anymore among other things, we have been married 14 years and we have both has our issues in our marriage. I love him so much it hurts. I have been going to counseling once a week to try and deal with the separation and talk about my anger issues. I have forgivin him to many times to count on his issues, and then one day it's I don't love u and u need to leave. I have begged him to just stop and think that I have been going to Counceling to work on me and would do anything to just let him see how hard I am trying to help me and work on this. I love him so much, I'm so depressed. Anger, anxiety, depression among other things run in my family. I feel betrayed. Please help me in what I can do to make him see and love me again.... :((. Any advice???
You can't "make" another person do anything. It is another perspective and regardless of what you do, you won't change that. That person has to come around on his/her own.
All you can really do is work on you. Continue to work on yourself and make yourself a better, stronger you. You owe that to yourself.... You are ahead of the game by understanding that there is issues and you are already addressing them.
I'm glad to hear your working on your anger issues. Can you share anything that you're learning that is modifying your behavior? I stop myself before i share my anger with my family, even if the anger is justified. Like a shopping addiction, i make myself wait before sharing my thoughts, (making a purchase). If it's still something that i want to do the next day, then i will plan to talk about an "issue". Always always always the conversation is understood far better with some thought put into it. It saves me ALOT of time repeating the same concerns. Nobody listens to an angry person, because there making a fool out of themselves losing it. I'm not suggesting that you're not allowed to be spontaneous in a relationship, i'm suggesting that until you're able to control your anger, you question your delivery. Hope you make the change, it's peaceful out here since i stopped letting the anger get the best of me, and there's a lot more respect. My son actually learns something by my example, and that feels good. If anger runs in your family, i'd stay away from my family until i got a handle on what's expected in good company. I don't know if your husband will take a chance, but if he does make sure you've done your homework. I haven't heard an angry word in my house in SO long, so long in fact, it's not even worth mentioning the last time or the voracity of the exchange. When you see him, show him that you've lightened up, make a joke, make him smile. That's what's most sexy in a partner. Let him know you no longer are using your family as an excuse for your bad behavior. It may have taught you in childhood how to act, but it's no excuse for an adult's behavior. Own up, and apologize, once, don't keep repeating the same apology over and over, Actions speak far louder than words. If you've lightened up, and can go on a date and be civilized, have fun and act like a lady, who knows, you might get him back. Good luck. I hope that you can get back together, if you can become more homogeneous and consistent. I hope you can work it out. Life is very short, and there's no time
For fussing and fighting, my friend
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