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Vicous verbal abuser
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Vicous verbal abuser

I have serious anger management issues, not physically but I have a reeeeally short temper and when I snap im the baddest ***** ever. I verbally abuse those who provoked me and at the time i couldnt care less about what i said while im raging. It usually lasts maybe 20minutes tops and then im back to normal. I hate that i verbally abuse people, my fiance especially but when im in that state i literally cannot stop myself. We've tried 'alone time' but that makes it worse. Any suggestions on how i can better handle my temper and self control? It definitely doesnt help being 29wks pregnant with raging hormones :(
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3149845_tn?1386354841
Hi and welcome. Can you give us an example of your last rage attack, what set you off and what you said?
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Avatar_m_tn
It is good that you came to know this issue about you because I have seen many people and they will not admit that they have some issues with anger. This is the first thing about us as we can cure, if only we know the problem and you have taken that step.
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134578_tn?1404951303
Once when I was working at a clinic that handled a lot of divorces, I saw a sheet from an anger-management class that the court had mandated a guy go to.  It was one of the class handouts, and gave a list of ten or twenty things a person who is angry *could* do, compared to a list of one thing (i.e., blow up) that some people *always* do.  If I were you, if I was interested in keeping my fiance and not scaring my child, I'd find one of those classes or at the very least, one of those lists, or make such a list myself, and begin working on doing some of the other things when mad.  You are already ahead of the game because of recognizing you are doing this and have this pattern (so many people are in denial and blame it all on others) but diagnosing the problem is not solving the problem.  In other words, you can't ride on your diagnosis.  ("Who can blame me, after all, I have anger management issues.")  Don't let it become an excuse for further terrible behavior.  People get their kids taken away for less.

See if you can find a good anger-management class in your area.  The clinic where I worked who knew about these was one that handled low-income people's legal issues, a lot of people whose lives are stressed by income problems also have anger problems.  So that might be a place to call, a poverty-law clinic or a law school's legal clinic that handles domestic cases.  Or call the courts and ask if there are anger-management class resources.

Take it seriously, sweetheart.  You and your fiance's relationship is up to the two of you, but your baby is going to be defenseless against your verbal abuse, and nobody deserves that.
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jemma116
United Kingdom