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am i becoming mentally ill
hi i am a 17 year old male i work have 3 brothers one is a twin and have a great mate
most of the time i am a friendly person but i have this side to me that i am worried about.
my head is pretty messed up when i am at work or have some spare time i daydream about killing people i think about going into a hospital and disguising my self as a doctor and grabbing  a syringe and putting a dangerous chemical in it and injecting it into people and thinking of ways to cover my tracks. i have really weird mood swings like i will be happy and laughing then if someone says something that annoys me i will be enraged with anger and wanting to hurt and kill people but i normally keep my cool but i am worried one day i will lose it. i cant concentrate at work because all i do is worry about things and thinking of killing people. i forget things and will not get any sleep and lose interest in food  but i never show any of this when people are around its always bottled up inside me. and i am worried i might be developing a mental illness i am sure i'm not alone with these crazy thoughts.
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3242115 tn?1447008366
You need to get this checked asap, it is definitely a mental illness of some kind, from what you described there are some symptoms of depression there but the thoughts of harming others sounds like a different type of diagnosis altogether.  If you really are worried about someday losing your cool and doing something to harm someone you need to get checked out sooner rather than later.
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Wow, that's bad. You can lose your freedom and go to prison if you don't see your doctor. You need to tell your parents something so they can get you some professional help. The longer you wait the worse it gets...
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I am also self harming when something stresses me by cutting my leg I have also tried to brake my foot with a weight and have taken and overdose of paramax tablets. I also think I have social anxiety as I really hate confrontation and if someone watches what I am doing I get really nervous I hate talking to new people as I find it difficult to speak and I hate when I have a family get together I feel really worried that I will make a foul of my self
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3060903 tn?1398568723
Teen aged years have got to be the hardest for all of us. Fortunately, people are more apt to accept treatment as an option these days for some of the things that you're describing. Are you able to talk to your mom or dad, or both about how you're feeling. and let them know that you think you need therapy? and that you'd be willing to go? Because i really,  really think you need it dear. Might as well get working on this, it's not going to go away by itself i don't think. Is there trouble at home (that could be the cause of your anger)?

Thanks for posting here.. I appreciate your honesty and bravery for doing so.
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I don't really feel like I can talk to my mum or dad or my twin brother I just think they won't take it seriously
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3060903 tn?1398568723
Do you have insurance or a way to see a therapist?
Can you go to a hospital, and try to talk to someone in the Psychiatric Ward. It might just be a chemical unbalance, something that can be managed.
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No I don't think so I wouldn't really know I can always just feel so much anger burning inside I have such mest up thoughts
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Tom, Pls tell your parents you're having some issues and they can't help you with  and you want to see your doctor for a physical or something. You don't need your parents permission to go to a ER hospital for help. Don't be scared it's your responsibility to tell the Pro's. Parents can be very ignorant!!!
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Before you do something stupid, go to one of the prison sites and write a convict and ask what it's like to be locked up 24/7 for the rest of your life, with prison gangs beating you up for your desert and commissary, no rights, sexual assaults, nobody to go to, no air-conditioning, limited toilet paper, constant noise, rancid bologna for lunch, mail censored, and getting locked in the hole on bread loaf for a month for making a complaint.
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