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anger

hi, i have been trying to control my anger since 3-4years. i tried to do meditation for some time. i used breathing technique and so on. but i am unable to control my anger. my mom always keeps talking ill about others. i have asked here not to do so, but she does that everyday. for each and everything she screams, shouts, talks ill about others(neighbours, mother-in-law, her sister, servants and so on). day by day am getting crazy. i hate to shout at her but she forces me to do that(just to stop her). i lose my patience in the end. by the end of the day i won't be in a good mood, unable to concentrate on my work. my dad he hardly gets time to be at home. whole day he will be busy in his office. even during holidays. he goes to his office at 8 in the morning; comes back home at 3 in d afternoon for lunch; again leaves at 4 and returns back home at 10. after that he goes to sleep. we don't even have a good doctor who can solve my problem. is there anything you can do? to help me?
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535822_tn?1417529476
Hi aryan it sounds as if the dynamics at home are not too good , your Mom seems to be unhappy ,maybe about the relationship she has with your Dad,who seems to be out of the house a lot. Unless they both or even your Mom want to go for counselling there isnt too mucj you can do, does Mom realise how you feel about her behavior have you expressed that  to.herWhat age are you ,as this makes a differance to your staying in the same house. I dont think shouting back at her helps the Issue speak to your Dad tell hiom what you have said here. Good luck let us know how you are doing .
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Avatar_f_tn
You do not give your age, so again, it is hard to even try to give good advice. it would seem that by your story mom has a problem, and you cant deal with it, so why try, go ahead and go to school, and if you can talk to dad, but i am quite sure dad knows of this if they have been married long, you should try talking to someone older that you trust a group or something, I do not think that you will get anywhere by shouting at your mom. have you tried to datch her in a quiet mood, and tell her these things bother you, but one thing puzzles me, and that is why does your mother allow her child to yell at her, i was taught to respect my elders, and never talk back so it would seem you have been doing quite a bit of this remember, you can not stop her, and i am quite sure that you can catch dad if you want to, but one thing i will tell you is get your anger under control, or you are going to have a hard time in the future, and remember all things will not go your way, you will meet all different kinds of people, and your anger will not be acceptable in society, so , i cant say blame mom, try working on getting out and helping others that are less fortunate it will help with your anger and remember no good deed goes unrewarded you will understand when you do a good deed it will make you feel good all over  luck  jo
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Avatar_n_tn
oh no no....there is no problem with their relationship....that i can assure you...i am 22 years old....its just that when she got married she had completed her 10th....after she couldn't continue...dad used2 force her that's why she did her further studies..(external exam)
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Avatar_f_tn
aryan
all i can say at this point is if you do not like what is going on with your mom and you are 22 get out and go to work and get your own apt you are a man now not a child, i thought your post sounded like a spoiled childs temper tantrum, but i see it is not, you cant change mom, so quit yelling at her, if you want why not write her a letter and tell her how it makes you feel when she does this. remember when your parents support you, and you live in their home, they own the air you breathe, so if you do not like it get oui  luck  jo
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Avatar_f_tn
It appears obvious that your mother is depressed, angry, sad, and needs a counselor to talk to about her issues.  It is also obvious that your Dad is making his escape from her through his constant work.  If this is the case, THEY need to own up to it and get marital counseling and make some serious changes within their marriage.  She may be the way she is because your Dad is the way he is behaving.  Remote.

You are now old enough to live on your own and make your own way and live your own life.  You need to get out of your parent's home and all their problems.  Your anger level should lift considerably after you are away from all this stress at home.  

It is not up to you to take care of your mother's unhappiness, or your father's either.  They are adults and must take responsibility to get the help they need.  If your Dad won't do it, then your mother must do it for herself.

You could look up names and numbers of Marital Therapists in your area.  Then give your mother the list and she can choose for herself.  If she doesn't make that move to help herself, you will get a clear realization that she refuses to change.  You must live your own life, free of this unhealthy behavior.  You will feel better then.
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jemma116
United Kingdom