no coping skills

When I was 8 my mother was in a car accident and I had to raise 2 people (myself and my mother). I need help with my anger it's all I know, anger, frustration and pain. I don't know how to relax and I no longer enjoy anything about life. I used to be a cutter when i was a teenager I'm 27 now and I have no control over it. It's like I go from zero to a billion in less then a second. It has also gotten worse since a car accident in 2006 and even worse since a kidnapping in 2011. I really need help with any kind of relaxation and anger control. I've tried a lot of stuff and the only thing that has seemed to work is xanax and an ALPHA STIM SCS machine which I can no longer get the machine one SSI I dont"t have the $600+ to buy it. PLEASE I NEED HELP ANYONE HAVE ANY SUGGESTIONS?