real anger issues vs temper tantrums

[bisouxbisoux]

I currently have a terrible relationship with my mother and it deteriorates my emotional stability day by day. After fighting with her, I seclude myself in my room and become hysterical, I break things that need a lot of force to be broken, I throw things at the speed of light,, But most of all, I pray for an accident to happen to me. Something that would cause her to NEED to care and love me. I want to hurt myself or just disappear and have her wish she had me back. Am I just a temper mental teenager or is it more than that?

[margypops]

I am sorry you are having a hard time, what happens prior to the fighting' is there a trigger,it could be you would benefit from some counselling ,I think the throwing things is out of frustration, have you a Dad you can talk to or another relative ,I am uncertain of your age ,if you are still at school  maybe someone to talk to there.Hormones can make a 'teen 'act out, but if you have a valid concern at her attitude it is helpful to speak it out, Good Luck

[kathy434]

Dear soux,
     You need to have a talk with a counselor through school, or within the mental health system.  You need to learn what exactly the problems are between you and your mother.  You also need to learn some better coping skills.  We don't want you to get hurt in any manner, and if you are thinking about suicide, STOP now.  Pick up the phone and call your local Crisis Center and talk with a counselor there.
     While you have a lot of issues to deal with in growing up, you should not feel that you must close off yourself to your room and throw things to vent your frustrations.  You need to talk about your problems with a trusted adult.
     Your mother may also need some counseling.  She does not seem able to HEAR your cries for help and she may not know how or what way to respond to help you.
     It will not help your situation by harming yourself.  It will help you by talking to a teacher, or a counselor at school, or at the Crisis Center in your area.  Crisis line in in the phone book.  Look it up now, and use it when your need to break things or hurt yourself boils up.
     You are not in a healthy situation as it is.  Talk will help and learning what triggers that set off your battles with your mother will also help you in better coping.  Good luck, and people do care about you.

[jo929]

You do not give your age, and it would be hard to comment.unless one knows your age, it seems that you may be a teen,
you also said you currently have a terrible relationship with mom, so i am assumung that at one time your relationship was good, yet when you say you pray for something to happen to you, and she would care for you, it seems like this sounds like growing pains i raised 3 daughters, they are grown now, when one of my children even attempted to have a tantrum, it was stopped fast, as i beleive that one should know who the grown up is, and who is the child, maybe i used a strong hand but they were never spoiled,and as teens they wanted to do things, that i would dissaprove of, we talked it out, and all in all they turned out well, i think that at times most teens , or almost teens dislike their mother at times because they cant have their way, and that is normal, but never wish harm to befall you, as that is a bad way to think if things get worse try talking to someone you trust, i beleive that you love your mom, and she loves you , i do know growing up is hard   luck  jp

[bisouxbisoux]

i am 16.
my mother has been out of town for a while and i hope that when she comes back we will be able to mend our relationship and find a solution to our problems.
thank you all so much for your help-it is much appreciated.

[margypops]

That is good news ,talking it through really helps , thank you for sharing with us, please let us know the outcome.

[bisouxbisoux]

outcome: terrible
my entire family is against me.

i told them i hate the family

they make me out to be some stupid, lying mean teenage girl who fakes all of her emotions and wants to hurt everyone.
thats what hurts ME the most, is that they think i am something i'm not, they beleive that all my intentions are selfish and only in order to benefit mysel. that  is false!
i am considerate and loving and they seem to dismiss all the good qualities i have and all the good things i do. they fret over all the things i have done wrong as if i am not a human being and cant make mistakes. the thing is they ONLY remember the bad things and that it why they treat me like this. and i care so much about them even though i cannot get along. i always want their love and attention and they do not seem to provide it. i hate my life!!!!!!