I had anger building up inside for a long time then one night I blew it and was beyond stupid. I really would like to know what everyone does to get the pent up anger out before it affects someone else again.
I don't know any one way that works for every single person I think you have to find the way that works for you. When you say you "blew it" what do you mean? Maybe you could address the anger as it occurs? I have a habit of letting my anger build up inside me also and am trying to work through it. But by addressing the cause of the anger and figuring out why it makes you mad you might be able to rationalize your way through it.
The deal is, address everything as it happens. Look at every situation and see if it is worth addressing. If it is, you address it calmly and professionally and you'll achieve the desired outcome. (If you blow up, chances are you might not get the desired outcome, or you may be a bit upset with the way you handled it... neither a positive.) If you assume it isn't worth addressing, you simply drop it and never refer to it again. If you've dropped it, it cannot be mentioned again. You've thought about it, you've worked it out in your head and have deemed it not worthy of attention.... it's done.... its over.
I had major, major anger issues.... and with me, almost everything was a personal attack. And because I felt that way, I made a personal attack on the person who made the attack.... counter productive, even if I got what I wanted-I felt horrible for being an a-hole..... A lot of reading and a lot of therapy have given me to tools to get what I want most of the time. If I don't get what I want, I at the least had a professional/cordial discussion about it and took it as a learning experience.
With a bit of practice you will end up handling things right, and get them handled from the get go without having time to stew on them. Letting something fester is the wrong way to handle things. Stewing makes you bring anger from another incident into the incident that you are currently trying to handle, and thats wrong.
First, let me say I totally understand what you're going through. It's taken me several years to finally figure out how to avoid blowing up. Here are some questions I would first ask yourself: Do you have enough activities that allow you to just be yourself? What seem to be the triggers of your anger? How are you remembering to take care of your needs? Are there things or people in your life that you put before yourself that may be leading to resentment? My anger is usually caused by not listening to my own needs. Either I don't give myself enough rest, or I make too many sacrifices that leave me feelings taken for granted. The best thing is to prevent the anger from building up. If all else fails, I kindly tell my husband I am going for a drive. I explain that I need the time to escape and think. Once I'm driving, I can say or think anything I want. By the time I decide to go back home, I am back to myself AND I avoided making a fool of myself. Hope this helps!
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