Ok I'm posting this for answers, not for everyone to tell me to just leave because this is not a factor for me. Me and my Bf have been living together for 8 months. We recently just got our own apartment. It's very nice and we just love it. But he gets so angery sometimes, over little petty things, and instead of getting mad and pissy back I've recently just looked at him and said "chose your battles wisely" sometimes he will stop when I say that. But other times he has this twelve year old attitude and yells and mocks me. Which really gets to me. Also, at the beginning of our relationship I had found out he cheated on me, three times. I stayed with he because I figured he could change. But the other day at work, we work at the same place just in difffernent areas, I've had a couple people tell me stuff like he wad trying to **** everything that has a slit between there legs, and also this one lady she is basically the work *****, no joke, she will ask any man for a ride somewhere and get in there car and be like oh my ***** is so wet. And actually perform sexual encounters on them. She also has a man at home! But anyway I heard she had ran up to him after work and grabbed onto his arm in a way that I do and said Heyy hunny when are you taking me out and "hanging out". I heard all of this and didn't say one word to him about it. But once I heard more I saw him after work after I had just calmed down and stipped crying. And looked at him and just kept walking which I knew right away was a very bad choice and he came up to me and was like oh I see how you can walk with your own BF and just went on a rampage, so I paniced and told him everything I knew so he was like F*ck you and blah blah blah and just went completely off. He got in my car and started screaming at me and telling me he's done. He took my keys and my phone and wouldn't give me either of them. Which he has a tendincy of doing he has smashed two of my phones and broke my keys, also one of my smaller back Windows by throwing the keys at it. He has ripped plenty of my bras in half. And well instead of saying everything he said I'm just going to say every time he gets mad at me he cuts the deepest. He says the worst things anyone could ever say, and I'm 18 weeks pregnant with our first child. So its pretty hard for me to just deal with it or ignore what he says. It usually puts me to tears. But once I walk away or we spend atleast an hour away from eacgother
Eachother he comes to me hugs and kisses me and tells me he's sorry and he loves me. I do t get it, why would he say half the stuff he does if he loves me? I couldn't imagine telling him half the stuff he does to me because I DO love him. Any advice please?
If he loved you he would seek help and he would not accept any encounters from any women. My boyfriend had girls flirting with him at parties and at work and I told him that I would not stand for it. He told me that he didnt think it was a huge deal and I asked him how he would like it if male co-workers hung on me or flirted with me. After he thought about it he realized that I was right. Your bf needs to respect you and the relationship. He should cherish what he has with you. Maybe he has issues with anger and if he really loves you then he will go to counseling for the anger. When you deliver your child you do not want his anger to endanger you or the child. Even if he doesnt get physical with you or your baby his yelling and screaming AND the way he acts towards you ( breaking phones, ripping bras, taking keys)..those are qualities your baby will start to pick up on. Your child will think its normal to act that way and you may have a child that rebels and acts out. You can tell your child all you want that throwing tantrums is not the right thing, but if they see their father throwing tantrums they will too.
If things dont change then you should leave. I know that is what I would do. you say that isnt a choice but you have a baby to think of. When the baby is born that child will be your number one, he/she will be your whole world and you need to do anything you can to protect you and the baby. You need to be happy and healthy so your baby can grow up happy and healthy. Being in this relationship..fearing your bf will get mad at you is not healthy and it will cause stress on you and on your baby. Children pick up on their parents emotions. You deserve better, you come first.
Why did you say leaving is not an option, because of the baby? As the prior poster says, you might get to a point where you have to leave in order to protect the baby. Not from physical violence, but from all the emotional upheaval and childish and violent stuff toward you, and the negative role modeling that will happen. It stresses a relationship more, not less, when a baby is born. You'd be 100% better off alone, than in the relationship you are describing, when the baby comes, if he can't change his angry impulsive ways very soon.
I'm sorry to say that if you don't leave.... this will be the rest of your life... but it will probably get worse. Unfortunately, people can't change their entire personality and it sounds like his is toxic.
Put an innocent baby into the mix..... your life, and the life of your un-born child will be so much better if you leave.
I don't mean to sound mean or or judge..... but actually say this out of concern. His behaviour is already scary and this is at a time that should still be the 'honeymoon' phase - the real stress of raising a baby together hasn't started yet and already he's behavior is this bad.
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