Blood in vomit

I have been bulimic since I was in middle school and I am 34 now...sometimes i can stop for a period of time but when something is going on I start again.  When I eat I feel so sick, like I'm going to pass out...I feel dizzy, my stomach hurts and then I throw up and when I see the blood is when I can stop....it's almost like a relief.  I was scared at first but I have thrown up the blood for so long and nothing bad has happened so does it mean that nothing is really wrong?  I get the heart palpitations but they go away and they aren't an every day thing.  I wish I could stop but I can't right now...its at that out of control point.  What do you do if you don't have insurance?  Who will help?