Long term laxative abuse

I am a 46 year old woman who is a non diagnosed bulimic.  I do not purge by vomiting but by laxative abuse, and take anywhere from 75-100 biscodyl tablets daily, and have done so since the 1970's, starting at age 11.  I was normal weight (gymnast when young) but gradually my weight has increased, even though I purge every day.  I used to binge eat, and still do occasionally, but I think I've messed up my metabolism after all these years, as I will fast for fairly long periods of time, and still not budge on the scale.  More importantly, I know this laxative abuse is extreme and detrimental to my health, but do not know how to stop.  I dread feeling full and bloated, and if I do not take laxatives every day, I am miserable.  What can I do to try  and stop?  
ps....I also was a victim of sexual abuse (twice longterm, once 1x only) and I do understand this may have something to do with my laxative abuse/eating disorder.  My doctor knows I complain of nausea all the time )from laxative abuse, I think) but I cannot bring myself to talk to talk to him, or anyone else.  

[Patricia Pitts, PhD]

There is a way to stop laxative abuse. Even though it feels impossible, addictive and hard to adjust to the physical discomforts of letting go, I've seen numerous people let go of laxative use.   Laxative abuse is noneffective as a weight loss method.  Using laxatives only releases 12% of the calories you eat.  The rest of the weight loss is from dehydration.  Electrolyte imbalances, low potassium, metabolism abnormalities, sudden cardiac arrest, renal failure are among the medical complications.  Under proper medical, nutritional and psychological support, you could stop.  You need to ask for support and guidance.  This behavior is not about the laxarives it's about addressing your feelings, needs and coping with your life issues.  To learn more about bulimia, nonpurging type, and medical complications visit the bella vita website.  With joy and gratifude, Dr Patricia Pitts  The Bella Vita  Los Angeles, CA

[EsteeDee]

A change is not made until you are ready to make one. All the forums in the world will not make that change for you. You have to, yourself.! You will not live long continuing this behavior and regardless of your abusive past by allowing the abuse to take over your life then you have allowed for the abuse to continue. Tell yourself today that you are going to make a change , for the better. And the first few days may seem difficult but once you have broken the cycle then you feel in control of your life. And please see a doctor during this process because i'am sure you will need some nutrients and or medicine to help you through this. Good Luck. Make a Change!