Where to start?? im 18 years old now and growing up i was was really overweight..when i turned 16 i became an alcoholic..i drank everyday from i woke up until i went to sleep..alcohol took over my life and replaced meals..the only thing id eat would be a 2 finger kit kat bar a day..i went from a size 14-16 to a size 8 in under 6 months..when i was 17 i realised it needed to stop..i beat my addiction and was moving on..this is the time food became my so called "enemy"..i became obsessed with my weight when i noticed the loose skin from the weight loss..i refused to eat much and went down to a size 6..my hip bones stick out really bad to the fact i cant even sleep on them and turning in bed causes carpet like burn marks..if i eat just one slice of bread a day i feel extremely sick for the rest of the day and i get extremely bad abdominal pain often..some days i just starve myself to stay thin because my stomach bloats and its so fat and disgusting..even if my stomach rumbles like mad the thought of eating makes me feel sick to my stomach..i get really dizzy standing up i get headaches and struggle to walk without my body feeling like its about 90 years old and walking upstairs takes my breath away..im extremely exhausted all of the time..im a size 6 now and 109 pounds although my trousers still fall down..if my hip bones didn't stick out so much id be a size 4..i sometimes share clothes with my 8 year old niece..i know that im underweight but i cant stand being in my own skin because i feel so fat..even in my relationships nobody ever seen my body because i was so ashamed..i live on cola because when i don't drink it i start to shake sweat and end up fainting..my family and my last boyfriend kept telling me i was so skinny and need to go to the doctor but id just snap at them and tell them to mind their own business..when i look in the mirror all i see is fat everywhere..when i go out i have to wear hoodies to cover up incase anyone would call me fat..im pale all the time and my hair is thining..everyone is extremely worried but i don't think its a problem..i am determined to loose more weight until i am satisfyed that i am not fat despite everyone worrying about me..i have extremely bad mood swings i snap at people all the time for no reason although from what i remember i always had a short fuse..if someone raises their voice to me i get so upset and cry my eyes out and that's just not like me im usually the one raising my voice to other people..im just wondering are my family right am i suffering from anorexia??..
hey, this sounds all too firmiliar before my first attempt at recovery i got down to 78 lbs and i am 5:8 and 1/2, i still looked in the mirror thinking how discusting i looked id stand there and pinch the fat all over my body, it was to the point i could barely walk, and going up stairs was pretty much impossible, my entire body hurt i had bruises all over from laying or sitting down, i was exausted all the time and even smelling foo made me feel sick and anxious, i became very emotional, angry and upset constantly..... i am now relapsedd because i joined a freshly opened recovery program that focused tooo much on re-feeding and not enough on the mental aspect of an eating disorder, i may not be ready for recovery but you may be but i recomend doing your reaserch on where you want to go...but this is not me sitting here preching to you to go get help i am clearly not the best model for that type of advice, but i am telling you this it gets worse it took me almost dieing and force from family and friends to get into recovery and i still couldnt do it (obviously here i am sitting and typing to you)...you may be able to and if your not ready for recovery yet please atleast see a doctor and be very careful... and if you just cant recover right now you should take vitimans to atleast help stableize your electrolite and nuturent balence they will also help keep your heart healthier and prevent dizzyness from being as frequent for example i take these ones: potassium (vitiman k), iron, calcuim, magnesium, ginsing, vitiman d, vitiman b, vitiman c, omega 3-6-9, a multi vitiman and then a few others but those ones are the really important ones for bones heart dizzyness etc... i hope ive helped but to get to a straight forward answer for you, yes... i believe you may be strugling with an eating disorder.
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