29 and suffered from anxiety and pregnant now worse :0(

hi everyone,im new ere and thought id post my problem ere for help haha... right ere go,s im 29 female and im 8 weeks pregnant, on no medication and have not been on any since 2008,i used to be on beta blockers propranolol for 5 years and it did help back then as i suffered from anxiety and abit of agrophobia to avoidance,but i wanted to fight it myself and came of them,and have been going worse and worse but ignoring it! i hate taking my 3 year old to nursery as i start thinking i cant breath,and ill make a complete idiot of myself,or even cry infront of the mothers because im trying to hide the anxiety of actually being there,i hate it...i feel useless i have 3 handsome boys age 11,3 and 2 , and a wonderfull partner,but im so moody with him and now cause im pregnant and i feel worse with my anxiety and want to get better and enjoy my pregnancyand im taking it all out on my partner.... i do have councelling but only been 4 times so ill keep at it! i want a cure suppose like everyone else wants,or all the negative silly bad thoughts to go away, id love to talk to someone who is like me , as i keep it all to myself and hide it from most people,and because i hide it i avoid talking to people as id start to have a big sweat on,and wanna dash of quick and carnt wait to get to my car,if i didnt have my car to get about id be stuck in the house as i wont walk anywere cause of fear ill panick if i get to far away from my house hahaha i do laugh about it as its funny but makes me misearble and sad ...also i question if im actually happy with my partner and get confussed about my life easily one minute im happy with him the next im not is this also part of the anxiety confused .com hahaha.hope to get some helpful answers thanks :)

[Julie359]

Maybe you should make an appointment to see your doctor, as now you are pregnant you need to be careful as with what you take medication wise....although i proberly dont have to tell you this as you have 3 other children.  If you are not keen to go down the traditional medication route i would recommend Homopathy, it can be fairly expensive, depending on what country you are residing in but i think the benefits may outway the expense.  Maybe google it and have a look at some of the web-sites, where you can have a close look at the different type of med's they offer.  Also it is safe to use in pregnancy.... i took it while pregnant and intially i did feel slightly worse after a while my body started to heal itself and i did feel better.

Also going relaxation classes or buying relaxation, meditation cd's is an excellent way to combat anxiety and they actually have cd's esspecially designed to overcome agoraphobia.  I can give you the web address of a very famous well respected guy who is very well known over here in the UK if you wish.

All the best
Julie

[Julie359]

P.s.... i have agoraphobia as well and severe anxiety disorder so if you wana chat i'm here..... x

[bumpybumps2010]

i dont think i shall be taking any medication i need to do this without! i was pregnant in 2008 and did not go on medication then infact i just got on with it,but this time i feel worse,as i hate being in the spot light and wud love to hide this pregnancy from people just so they dont confront me god wish it was as easy as that hahaha, i am only 8 weeks and maybe my hormones are racing around making it all worse,i shall defo try the dvds you adviced , i wud love to go for a walk pushing my buggy and right now i feel my head wud fall of if i did,and im worrying about being stuck in wen this baby is due in october,but my plan is to get better ASAP so this dosent happen...i told my midwife yesturday who as passed my info on to a midwife counciller,so i hope she got some answers for me to!
some days i can go out and others i dont want to its like i wake up a diffrent person but suppose we all have them days...were we more condident..
my main issue is bumping into people i know,and who i have not seen for years,as i think i will flap and they will say god she as lost the plot hahaha
and a few times i have bumped into old friends and i start sweating and not getting my words out properly,its all daft silly things that should not afect me but it does :0)
i just wish it would go aw2ay, do you manage to get out and about julie??? xx

[Julie359]

Trust me i know exactly how you feel, since becoming ill again i actually avoid places where i know people that know me are gona be...and school is the number 1 place.  I actually have my little one in after school club and breakfast club to ease the anxiety i felt, it all became far too much... Mums would come up to me and ask so many dam questions and i'd feel like a turkey about to be slaughtered, trying to cover up my anxiety and panic i feel comes across as pure rudeness alot of the time as i'd just cut them dead and walk off, then start pushing past people to get the hell out of the playground, while trying to hold myself up cause my legs have turned to pure jelly and i can't see or hear a dam thing as i'm about to pass out....not good!  

I do go out but not very far at all, i have a limited comfort zone, i go to a day centre when i feel half human, for peps with mental illness and disorders, and do classes of relaxation, life coaching etc...which helps with the isolation.  I have found i've lost all the friends i did have prior to getting ill, as i shut everyone out and basically told them all to f off, i don't feel alot of them where true mates and one or two who were i felt ashamed to let them see me in such a ill state, so i pushed them away as well, family included!  So do u find you keep yourself isolated and cut off from friends or do u have a few trusted people in your life?

Anyway i'm glad the weather is picking up and at last we have sun shine, makes a whole difference to how a person feels hey!  So are you in the UK.... and also i think we should carry the convo as a personal message so i'll pm you.  x