I posted about anxiety from weaning off Tramadol too fast. Thanks to those who replied and offered their empathy and advice. I have another problem with valium also.For 8 mths, I have been being prescribed 2 a day by both my GP and my shrink, assuming they both knew each other were prescribing it this way for me, as they are due 2 weeks apart. My shrink always tells me at the end of our 5 minute session, that she's happy to be able to fax her report on me about my progress. When I first saw her, I had to write down a list of medications I was on, valium included. Why then, did she also give me a script for valium? I just thought she must think that the 2 a day my GP is prescribing, wasn't enough, in the state I was in at the time of my first visit, supposedly to sort out my meds and I'd even told her I wanted to wean off valium. I never did understand why she gave me a script for it, then 2 weeks later I got a script from my GP, who I thought, knew about all this. What is going on? They are messing with my brain. All I guess at is that my GP does not have the time to read every report sent to her, and I can understand that, as she has other patients to see, and her own life to run once she gets home from the clinic. I have been told by my very good friend, who is an addiction expert, about the trouble I'm having with tramadol withdrawal, horrific anxiety etc and told her that I'm having to have the 4 prescribed by the 2 'professionals'. She nearly died, as she said that I could be accused of 'doctor shopping', and I said what's that? She explained that addicts often go to different doctors to get the same script and then different pharmacies to get the scripts filled. Oh help! I told her that they both must surely know that they are prescribing valium for me. I don't take 4 a day, and do it all wrong anyway. Some days I need just 1, another day, none, then another day I might take about 6. I even told my psych this, and she said that's ok to do it like that, as long as I don't go more than 4 days without any, because of the half-life and how long it stays in the body, and if I didn't take at least one, I'd get terrible anxiety and/or convulsions. So, I wasn't even taking it right, but still kept getting the scripts when each of them were due, to have for when I really needed a few to calm down from so much going on in my life at the moment. I won't go into all that now. Everyone has problems. The main issue now, is I AM SCARED WITLESS! About being accused of this 'doctor shopping', when I'm innocent n all this. But, as my friend explained, the courts don't know me, and probably wouldn't believe me. So now, I'm trying to cope with withdrawing from Tramadol, which my GP should not have prescribed in the first place, knowing my history of alcohol addiction many years ago, but now recovered, and with the 3 anti-depressants I'm on (Mirtazapine, Norepinephrine and Zoloft), I am getting too much Serotonin, as Tramadol acts like a SSRI anti-depressant. I can't cope with this. I hope someone can help. I'm on a load of other pain meds too, for arthritis, being messed around by my bowel surgeon (bowel trouble with terrible pain and I can't eat, plus bowel prolapse and they think I have a stricture in my sigmoid colon, as I can't pass a bowel movement without laxatives to keep it runny. I feel sick, very weak from lack of nourishment), so all that's weighing heavily on me too. This is all too much for anybody to have to handle all alone. Family are sick of it all and are stressed out, so I feel guilty about that, and don't talk about my troubles to them anymore. I feel so alone. I never thought I'd experience this nightmare of anxiety and depression ever again. IT ALL STARTED UP AGAIN FROM BEING PRESCRIBED TRAMADOL! I wish I'd known what I do now, about that med, I'd NEVER have taken it! HELP, PLEASE! Can Somebody, please help and advise me?
Ok to begin with thats not your fault at all. If you gave a list of the meds your on then there should be record of that. If a question comes up about why two docs are precriping you the same med you should have know reason or way to explain why..your not the doc..he is. So he should be responsible for what hes doing. Esp if you were up front to begin with. I would not get yourself to upset and maybe if you clarify everything with both just to make sure & ease your mind. I know how anxiety and stomach issues are also I have that my self & i knooo to much stress makes everything worse! Ive had my share of diff meds and diff docs with stuff like this..I have no insurance so I have meds at many different drug stores & have never been questioned and they do keep track of that. & I know with sickness many families get so use to hearing the same thing over & over it almost seems a normal thing for "us" to hurt or be sick or have a break down. Not to long ago I had a bout of depression (i have Bipolar plus a degree in psychology so hope that helps) & most of my family didnt say much. So I felt know need to talk about it...which of course makes it worse & for you would make the stress & anxiety worse. I am so sorry for what your going thru medically Ive been there even having withdrawls..so I'm here & will listen if you need to just vent..hope the advice helped! Let me kno
Thanks so much for replying. I really apprecate your reassurance and your understanding. I'm sorry to hear you have stomach problems too! it can be vary painful at times. As for the anxiety, I've been a little better today. I m weaning off Tramadol by 25 mg a day for a week, the 50, and son on. The valium buisness it what really makes mme angry, and very anxious when I haven't enough left. My script from my psych was for 50. My pharmacist only gave me 7, the script from my GP is due on the 27th, and he thought he'd give me 7 to tide me over till the 27th when it's due from GP. psych's one was due on the 4th, and this is the one I am out of, and she mailed it to me last week she said, but I only got.it yesterday. Too late now. The chemist has already taken that script, so don't know whether I can ask for it back an explain to them that that scrpt was from my psych and supposed to be filled on the 4th but I didn't receive it it till yesterday. So, I'm going withou valium now, well I can have 1 a day, but that does nothing, as I'm used to the higher dose , on top of weaning off Tramadoll. I refuse to take the valium, because they have all stuffed me around with it. And I always asked to be weaned off that too ages ago, but instead they prescribe more, and say 'not yet' to me. I don't know why because I was quite happy and had solved my anxiety problems myself with gabapentin and so was ok and ready to wean off valium. Now Tramadol is added the last 3 weeks or so, but am dealing with that ok now, with the weaning off it. To overcome the anxiety that the weaning off has produced, and not having valium, I take zopiclone, a sleep med and this is helping to keep me from really going over the edge and into despair and full blown fear and all that goes with a severe anxiety bout.Going to go the alternative medicine after all this, I swear! Too much, and with bowel problems where eating causes pain, waiting for the hosp to book me in for tests, is all taking it's toll, but I'll survive, as what can I do but wait? I hope you're getting help with your bowel problems too,, and anxiety and whatever else you're going through and thanks again so much for sharing a little about you
Y did the pharmacist only give u seven? Maybe u need to call your doc bc u can get really sick & anxious w out it..as u probably kno. I'm glad u feel better..comin off pain meds is awful too..it messes w ur mind & w out the valium I'm sure its hard but ull get thru it! I'm going thru that now..but I have horrible leg cramps now comin off of them & I just want to be on my normal bipolar meds & that's it!
It sounds like you need to talk to both of your Drs and explain the situation. Work with only one of them as far as your Valium and take them as prescribed. This way there will be no more confusion with either Dr or your pharmacist. Things like this can happen when you're seeing more than one Dr so try not to stress about it. I'm sure they will both understand what happened and get you on track with the Valium.
Thanks again psychdegeree. You do know what I'm going through, as it sounds like you've been through and going through it. I will try and talk to my pharmacist who only gave me 7 of 50 prescribed. I don't even they know that I'm being prescribed 2 a day by each, my GP and my Psych. I doubt they's give me the full script even now. At least 1 a day till my script from my GP is due on the 27th. The pharmacy will probably only give me 43, as they already gave me 7. If I had been scheming, I would've been recording in my diary, which script I took to which chemist, but I wasn't so haven't a clue to which of the 2 pharmacies I've got my scripts filled at. The one I got from the psych yesterday was probably filled at the other pharmacy last time, while I was buying vitamins there. I bet if I'd told my husband to take my script to that one, they would've given me the full 50. Well, all I can hope for, is that on the 27th, when I get the script from my GP, I will go to the other chemist rather than the one who only gave me 7. I want to wean off it anyway, so did without it for 2 days so far. Started getting the horrible withdrawal, anxiety, tummy full of fear, and feel strange, sweating hot and cold, the whole works, so took a zopiclone, which is a sleep med that I'm also prescribed by the psych, but hardly ever used till the last few day, as I didn't want to get addicted to that. Well, I AM,now!, as I can't go a day without it now, especially coping with Tramadol weaning, and less or no valium. God, what a mess! Can't eat as tummy too full - full of fear. No room for food! Anxiety always affects my tummy, and have sigmoid problems already, with pain starting in the upper digestion tract now. God, what next!! Hoping the upper part of my intestines is just a withdrawal pain and all part of it the withdrawal process. Thanks for you advice. I am going to sort it out with my Gp as soon as I can get an appt , and the psych on the 10th April.I just hope I don't go through too much HELL in the mean time.
I meant to say, I feel for you, for having to go through your own withdrawals. Yes, I hope you can get back to just having your normal bi-polar meds and be done with these other horrible life destroying meds. Me too! Best of luck and I hope you can survive it without too much pain, mental and physical. Magnesium is supposed to help ease leg cramps, or any spasm like crams in the body, so misght even start taken more myself, to see if it helps. It's supposed the be the 'cool, calm mineral', as the saying goes "Cool as a cucumber". Cucumbers are full of magnesium.
Thanks remar, Yes, I'm jittery and sick and scared, as I'm going through Tramadol withdrawal, but will have to have less valium too, because of the mix-up. I definitely will see my GP about this and just get one of them to prescribe me valium, and also help me wean off it. It is too confusing having 2 prescribing it for me.Never did understand that Will ring up first thing, next week, and hope I can get an appt soon, as I can't go on like this. Especially now that I've foolishly started taking zopiclone to help with Tramadol withdrawal, and of course, valium withdrawal now, as I haven't got enough till the 27th, when the next script is due from my GP. The script posted to me yesterday, was from my psych. That had been due on the 4th, but she didn't post it until the 13th, when I rang her. Took a week to get posted to me though. Was only given 7, I must've got my last script from my CP, there, and he thought it's not due until the 27th. If my husband perhaps had gone to the other pharmacy, I would've been given the full script for 50. So yes, you are so right. Too confusing with 2 different prescribing doctors, and 2 different pharmacies. I never remember which one I get which script filled from. I'm calm at the moment because I took a 7.5 zopiclone nearly 2 hours ago, but I can feel it leaving my body already. It must have a real short life in the body. I am going to research this drug now, and see what I'm messing with, in order to cope with these withdrawals. I might be making things even harder for myself. God, I hope not. When all this is over, I'm going the Natural Therapies Way!
I get the scripts 2 weeks apart from each. One from my GP and the other from My Psych. Usually at the same pharmacy, but if I'm buying vitamins I'll use the the vitamin pharmacy and get a script filled there. I never know which doctor or psych script I get filled where, as I don't keep a record. Just get them when they're due as prescribed by both. Now, of course, the script that was sent by my psych yesterday, said 50, but the pharmacy would only give me 7, as they said my script wasn't due till the 27th. That's the one from my GP. They one from the psych was due on the 4th, bu didn't get it till yesterday, as I forgot my appt on the 4th, with the psych. I had plenty as I wasn't taking the 4 prescribed every day, just doing it ll wrong, as I've stated above. 1 on one day, none on another, then 6 on another. I gave some to my friend who had run out, and couldn't do without for a week until she saw her GP. I thought I'd be getting both my scripts for 50 each, one this week(that had been due 4th March) and the other next week. So confusing. Will arrange to just have one script from only one doctor from now on, to avoid all this confusion, and now not having enough, so will have to do without or have less, and just hope I can cope with that on top of Tramadol withdrawal too. Using zopiclone to tide me over, but creating an even worse addiction problem for me now. I'll get it all sorted out once and for all. Can't go on like this, living in fear, so jittery and anxious all the time. It's a nightmare!
Oh goodness. Well, first of all---- I'm know you were trying to help but you NEVER give your Xanax to a friend. That's actually illegal and problematic for precisely the situation it now has caused. Some of your pills are missing that you need. And no doc would ever give you another script if they know you give them to a friend in need. I understand how it happens and am not trying to be hard on you but that is a huge big no no to doctors and pharmacists.
Second, there are a few problems with being so willi nilli about your medication. If you took it as prescribed, you'd still only need one script filled. You kind of just fill this or that based on each time you blow through the pharmacy. As you found uses for the pills (giving them to a friend or what have you)=== you never ended up with a surplus of pills which would be what would have happened if you filled two scripts for the same thing but took them as directed. Does that make sense?
A doctor or pharmacist is going to wonder what you are doing with double the pills.
I would try to hit a 12 step meeting to help with the addiction. Find a sponsor and the whole bit to help as you do indeed sound like this is a problem for you. And you need to tell your doctor the full extent of what is going on.
And if you have an appointment with the psychiatrist, important to make sure you are always there for those. Do you do therapy as well?
I agree with specialmom, I think you need some help with this.
If I remember correctly, you shared in another thread that you HAVE abused your meds before right? Plus, I see you have a history of alcohol abuse as well.
The whole issue here is, how much you are being prescribed monthly...by two different doctors. I'll be VERY honest, I don't think a pharmacy would fill both scripts, 2 weeks apart UNLESS the one script ONLY covered a 2 weeks period of time (which it doesn't sound like). Are you SURE you're not using two seperate pharmacies for each script? Especially because you indicate that the scripts are written for the same dose/instructions (2 a day).
I just think you're not being completely honest here...and that isn't meant to be accusatory or mean, but I think there's definitely more to this than the doctors didn't know what the other were doing, or that they were both so incompetent that they BOTH "forgot" what the other doctor was giving you. I'm sorry, but I think you have been, indeed, drug seeking.
I think there are many red flags here. I think indeed you perhaps WERE doctor shopping and I think you may have an addiction problem. I apologize if I'm wrong, if you're NOT doc shopping, then this should be VERY easy to fix with a visit to both doctors. If not, you have some real soul searching to do, hon.
I just hope you're honest with yourself about what's going on here. As Dr. Phil says all the time, and it's so true..."you can't change what you don't acknowledge".
Have the scripts been cancelled by both MDs? Have you talkd to either doctor? Doctor shopping is actually a criminal act, so if there is any truth to what they're saying, it would really benefit you to seek help for addiction ASAP. This way, God forbid there should be any legal ramifications, you are already trying to help yourself. That will be taken into consideration.
Please let us know what's going on...and if you DO have an addiction, please check out our Substance Abuse: Addiction forum. Really, it's full of great info and a lot of compassionate people who understand, you would get loads of support there!
Oh no problem! Its nice to find someone who can relate..& If you ever need more advice I'm here..we all are! And I understand alllll the symptoms your having and there are very bad. I am too on gabapentin..which ive been on it so long its not working to great anymore so they've added other meds. But also anyway you try to come off a med, even if its slow you will always have withdraw symptoms,,they may not be severe but its a chemical leveling your body you have had in it for a while. Hopefully they WILL NOT take you off valium during this time bc they will make it worse! & thanks for the advice on the leg cramps...there slightly going away but its so irritating having a charley horse in both of your entire legs!
First of all, I have been totally honest, or I would not have posted comments that weren't true, How could I make up anything like that? Here's what exactly occurred. I asked my GP to wean me off valium. I was suffering terrible anxiety at the time due to stopping Gabapentin suddenly. She referred me to a Psych, to sort out my meds. Before my consult with the psych, I had to fill out a form and list ALL the medications I was on. That included Diazepam. Went in for my consultation, told her how my anxiety started which caused me to feel depressed too, and that I wanted to wean off valium as I heard that it's a depressant. She glanced over my list of meds,saw that I was on anti-deps, plus the other meds I'm on. I begged her to please give me a weaning off plan for valium. She said not while I'm so full of anxiety, and that she wanted to address the depression first. She prescribed Seroquel and gave me a script for it, and said to keep taking valium and gave me a script for that too. I assumed that because she had looked at my list of meds, she would know I'm prescribed it by my GP, so I trusted her judgement by prescribing it for me also, so as to increase my dosage from 2 from my GP, to 2 from her, making it 4 a day in total. It did not occur to me to ask why I had to have 2 scripts. I just assumed that's the way it worked. She told me she would be sending reports of my consult, to my GP. Naturally, I assumed that my GP would see that I am being prescribed valium by the psych, as well as Seroquel. Every time one of the scripts was due, I'd take it to our usual pharmacy. Sometimes, my hubby and I were vitamin shopping at a discount chemist and whilst there, we both put in our scripts to be filled, so he too, thought it OK to use different pharmacies for scripts, as it's all on computer anyway, and it would save us a trip all the way around to our usual pharmacy. If I HAD been scheming or 'doctor shopping', surely I would have made sure I had written down which pharmacy I had used for which script form which doctor, so as not to get mixed up. It never occurred to me that it is wrong to use a different pharmacy for filling scripts. AND Why would my GP keep giving me a script also, for valium, when she must see by the report from the psych, that my psych is also prescribing it? Every time I've had an appt with my GP, she brings up my file on the computer and surely MUST see the report from the psych she referred me to. I had no idea until recently, when my friend told me about this 'doctor shopping'. I am very angry at both my GP and Psych, especially the psych, as she has stuffed me up mentally, by firstly prescribing Seroquel, which made me so ill that I weaned myself off it and told her why. She then put me on Zoloft 50mg. That too, made me ill, so I cut the dose in half AND told her. She okayed it, while still happily giving me a script for valium every time I saw her which was roughly 2-4 weeks. As I HATED valium, I was sick of not getting anywhere with my GP & Psych about weaning off, I just took it haphazardly, 1 here and there, 2 another time, none some days, and if pressure had built up to such an extent that one straw would break the camel's back, I would take 3-4 valium. When that didn't work within the hour, I'd take another 3 or 4, to calm me before all hell broke loose, to cope, before the bad situations I had been facing, seem even worse. Valium gave me that time out, to step back, think before reacting, and cleared my mind. I knew it was bad to take valium that way, but I DID TELL MY PSYCH that was the way I used it. She told me it's OK to take it that way but not to go more than 4 days without any, because of the half-life and how long it stays in the body, and to have at least 1 after 4 days, then take it according to how I felt. 5 minute consult later, with assurance that she's faxing her report to my GP and scripts in hand, off I'd go to pay for my 5 minute consult and wondering why she still wanted to see me in 2 weeks, when all she was doing was giving me scripts. $ signs in her eyes, that's why! I will be seeing my GP in a few days and will get to the bottom of this. Find out WHY I'm being prescribed a script for valium from them both. SO, thanks nursegirl6572, for your judgemental accusation, when you don't even know me. I happen to be a Christian and very proud to be Salvation Army. I will let all who replied to my Topic, know how I go with my appts with GP and Psych, in regards to this. Thanks for taking the time to reply to my post.
Thanks specialmom, I've made appts to see my GP on the 8th and psych on the 10th April. I am going to ask why both are prescribing valium, 2 a day by each. You are right about not usually having a surplus because of the way I was taking them, but sometimes, I did have surplus pills, but would still get scripts filled when they were due, so I'd have enough in case I needed more on certain days, or if a friend or family might need some on days when they just couldn't cope anymore., as I hated seeing them in pain and anguish, knowing that feeling all too well. Especially one of my daughters, who is NOT prescribed valium, but has felt a need for something when she became over-anxious and burdened by things going on in her turmoil of a life at present. She didn't ask me for any. I offered, and she'd usually say no, but I liked to have spare ones just in case. Anyway, since all this trouble began concerning valium, I've decided to take ONLY as prescribed, and get explanations please, from GP and Psych. Psych has suddenly cut me down to 1 without even having the courtesy of letting me know, either by letter or at least a phone call. No explanation and very unprofessional, as I would have thought she'd at lest explain to me at my next appt on the 10th, instead of suddenly dropping by 1 without talking with me first. Maybe she's finally seen that my GP is also prescribing it, I do not know. I'm just angry that she hadn't discussed it with me. I am not impressed with her at all anyway. Always in there for my consult for about 5 mins only and ALWAYS at the end, she tells me she's sending a report to my GP. Meanwhile, I go and pay over $300 for the 5 mins consult, some of which I get back from Medicare, but still a lot to pay for just 5 mins of her time, and just to be handed scripts that are stuffing me up instead of helping. My GP referred me to her, to give a proper weaning off plan for valium, and instead, she prescribes another lot, plus dangerous psychotic anti- deps. I'm just thankful I had the foresight to see what all these other anti-deps that were being prescribed at that time, like Pristiq, (made me very ill) so weaned off that, then Lexapro, (very ill and worse anxiety), weaned off that, then this psych prescribes that physchotic drug Seroquel. Jeez, that was a doozy and I did not like the weird feelings and thought I got while taking that, so weaned myself off it before it got worse. Told my psych at next appt I'd weaned off it and she put me on 50mg Zoloft. Felt crrook and more antsy etc, so cut dosage to 15mg. See to be ok on that, but don't see why I need it, as I'm already on a tricyclic and SSRNI and Zoloft is a SSRI, I think. I have been too trusting, and going along with whatever they both prescribed, not thinking much about it, and thinking they BOTH were aware of what meds I'm being prescribed by each. I WILL SORT THIS OUT ON THE 8TH! Meanwhile, I won't take ANY valium if I can help it, as I want off that drug, the very reason I was referred to that psych in the first place. Looks like I have to do it myself. I will look up the Ashton method my friend told me about, print it out and show both my GP and ESPECIALLY THE IGNORANT PSYCH! She ought to be struck off for her indiscriminate way of oprescribing dangerous meds without researching more thoroughly, and ought to be treating the patient as an individual, not just another patient or number, and generalizing my condition, then prescribing by the book, instead of looking at the whole person, and not just another case bringing her in the $'s.Sorry I went on so long, but had to express, first, my thanks to you, and secondly, to put those who have replied to my first post, that I have been completely honest, and am the innocent one in all this. I will never be that naive again, nor trust the medical profession for any help whatsoever. Have to rely on them for other physical troubles at the moment though, as I'm waiting for an op, unfortunately. Thanks again, specialmom for you empathy and compassion.
It sounds like you need to get another Psychiatrist. I'm really surprised she is putting you on these combos of meds that most likely should not be taken together. And, it sounds to me like she is starting you on a high dose. In my opinion, it's best to start off on a lower dose and increase if needed. Would it be possible to see a different Psychiatrist?
Sorry remar, that it took so long for me thank you for replying. I will be seeing my GP on the 8th and Psych on10th. Those were the earliest appts I could get. I''ll also ask my pharmacist too. I must get this sorted out once and for all, and go off all the damn horrible unhepful meds that they have experimented with me, never taking into account, my history.of alcohol addiction. I've been put on way too many meds and I'm sure there must some interactions between them. Feeling better today, actually and seem to be coping with the 25mg less of the prescribed Tramadol, today at least, and haven't had to rely on the sleep med to cope, like I had started using for those first few days. I seem to be over the hurdle, or at least I hope so!
I'm sorry you took my reply personally. Like you said, I do not KNOW you, so most certainly, it was no kind of judgement. I was just giving you my honest take on the situation, and said so in my post, and directly told you I was not trying to be mean or accusatory. To be accused of doctor shopping is serious, so I would only assume you are looking for very honest feedback. That was mine. I made the post I did with information from several of your posts, not just this one, where there is some indication you have been abusing your prescriptions at times. I recognize that my reply was not something that was easy to hear, whether you were or were NOT doctor shopping, but I'm always honest with people and give them my honest opinion of a situation. I wouldn't be helping ANYONE if I simply told everyone what they wanted to hear.
Anyway, if indeed you were not doctor shopping, like I said in my first reply, then you need to contact these doctors and get this straightened out. It seems that may be easy to do. Unfortunately, with something like this, the burden of disclosure DOES lie with the patient, so hopefully you remembered to tell each doctor at your appointments what all you were being prescribed from other physicians, and hopefully the doctor's office staff properly documented that. NEVER EVER ASSUME anything when you're dealing with different doctors...and that's why you ALWAYS use the same pharmacy for ALL of your meds, so that there is a record of everything you are being Rx'ed, from all of your doctors.
I agree 100% that you need to seek out a new doctor. You need to be very proactive about researching meds that these docs want to put you on, You have said a few times that you should not have been prescribed this and that...due to your alcohol addiction...unfortunately, we cannot depend on our doctors to always get it right. This is why the PATIENT must always look out for themselves. Anytime a doctor wants to start you on a new medication, research it, and discuss any questions/concerns you may have with the doctor BEFORE agreeing to take the med. If people would be more proactive instead of kind of blindly following what their doctor says, a lot of very unfortunate situations could be avoided. My last comment is NOT directed at you personally, it's just a general statement.
I wish you the best in getting this sorted out..good luck to you.
Sadly, giving medication to a friend or family member is illegal. And misusing your medication. And something that would make any doctor stop prescribing them to you. There is great liability in dispensing medication.
so, that is where your problem lies. You'll have to explain where all your medication has gone (double the script). That would be either that you took it yourself taking more than you should or you gave it away. Neither is great and will make any doctor cautious with you. And when you transfer to another doctor, this is going to be in your records.
It is what it is. You made a mistake (and please understand it is a huge mistake to dispense YOUR valiem to others) and it is over. Vow never ever ever to do it again. If your friends or daughter or whomever has anxiety issues, they can see a doctor themselves and be treated medically as needed and determined by a professional. And I'd just come clean with your doctor. That is your best option. They are likely going to really have a hawk eye on you and keep the number of pills you get at one time very small. But in the big picture, that could ultimately be in your best interest if you are trying to not take them.
You are doing the right thing. It happened accidentally but now you know the rules. No giving out your pills, no taking too many, no double scripts. The doctors are going to make sure that is the case and I wouldn't fight this.
do you attend meetings or an outpatient treatment program?
Thanks remar. I'm replying to your post again. I WILL tell my GP that I do not want to keep seeing the Psych she referred me too, as she doesn't know what she's doing, in my opinion and has made me worse than when I first saw her, which was to specifically wean off valium, and I innocently trusted her and never questioned her as to why she put me on more, when she should have seen on my list of meds, that my GP was prescribing it. Anyway, I'll be asking my GP on the 8th if she knows that the psych is also prescribing valium and go from there. I just hope it can be all sorted out, as I am so ill, so full of anxiety and just not well at all, because of a bowel problem that is taking ages to get any diagnosis and treatment for. Been waiting for the hospital to ring to book me in for a sigmoidoscoy, as I can't eat without getting terrible tummy pain. I've lost12 kilograms in 8 weeks, and am skin and bone, very weak and faint through lack of nourishment. All this on top of trying to wean off tramadol and now this valium business. Yes, I am feeling sorry for myself by now. I kept it all in before, but cann't any longer. I need help and understanding, so that's why I've turned to this forum to hopefully get some advice and reassurance, as that goes a long way in helping, just knowing someone is hearing me and I' not pushed aside as just another 'case' to be lumped in the one basket of sickos. My GP has obviously been too busy to read the reports from my sych, and the psych has been too busy to have read my very first form I had to fill in, listing all my medications etc. I just don't know. Maybe I'm wrong, but I've lost faith in both. I also take some of the responsibility, as I never thought to ask, at each consultation, if they both know they are prescribing valium for me. Whey would I even think to ask such a question, when it's all there in front of them, when they pull up my file at each consultation? I'm either too stupid or too trusting and naive, and I oope it's not the former. Thanks everyone, though for replying and discussing this with me. I really appreciate all the advice from you all.
Hi again & it looks like Ive missed alot the past couple of days (my house got broke into & they stole my lap top..go figure) Anyway Im not sure if early you read my comment. I have put personal things on here because of my degree I'd like honest feedback from ppl who are really coming from a good place because I cant talk to many ppl about relationship issues, or health issues, so feeling attacked on here I know is really hard esp when your already scared, in pain and don't know where to turn. I happen to be a Christian too but God knows we fall short & are not perfect (obviously bc He would have not sent His own Son knowing we would not be perfect!) I am always going to give you (& everyone else positive info & honest info) Esp when it comes to psychiatric issues bc alot of ppl see that & the meds we take & given as something bad (if it were diabetes know one would question their health bc psychiatric disorders (anxiety too) are physical problems...chemical imbalance! So chin up it will all work out!
Hi nursegirl6572, I really regret posting my comments to you in such a mean way. I DO appreciate your honest opinion and thank you also for your other kind words. Yes, you did state that you weren't being mean or accusatory. I just got defensive and reacted rashly. Please accept my sincere apologies. Your advice is exactly what I needed to know. Yes, I made appts for both my GP and Psych, 8th & 10th. I am going to ask my GP straight out does she know that the psych is also prescribing me valium and why hasn't she noticed that, when she brings up my file on computer every time I see her for one reason or another. AND You are right! I should never ASSUME that these health professionals know everything. Yes, I have taken the valium wrongly, and not according to how it has been prescribed, taking 1 here, 2 there, none another for a few days, giving some out to others, taking more than prescribed on a really traumatic day here and there, so yes, that's why I wouldn't take any at all some days, to prove to myself I can do without it, as I've wanted off this horrible med for over a year now, and I'm not getting any help from them. I see now, that taking valium in that way, I was abusing the drug, something I'm apt to do in certain situations, so thanks for alerting me, and I'll never do it that way again. I now know, I can't just stop taking it suddenly either, and will get a proper weaning off plan, even if I have to do it myself. I'm sick of this merry-go-round and vicious circle. I'm really trying hard, to cope at t his time, weaning off Tramadol, having less valium, weaning off zopiclone, as I was using that to help ease my withdrawal from less Tramadol and less valium. I am managing it all, and actually coping with the withdrawal, as I've been through many withdrawals in my life, from alcohol abuse for many years, now 4 years sober, so if I got through those horrific nightmares of HELL, I can get through this. I wish I could have seen the pattern I was following, using the meds the same way I used to drink, binge drinking, now binge valium taking. I didn't do that with the valium very often thank God, as I was frightened to do it that way and knew deep down it was bad. The funny thing(not funny really), was that my psych said it was okay to do it that way, but as I have said before, in my previous posts, that she told me not to go more than 4 days without taking at least 1, AND THAT I TOLD HER THAT'S HOW I WAS USING THE VALIUM. I can't wait to see her on the 10th. I'm going to write everything down that I want to ask and tell her. I want to know if she knows my GP is prescribing valium too, why she put me on Zoloft, when I'm already on 2 other anti-deps, can I wean off valium and zopiclone and _CAN I NEVER SEE HER AGAIN!, for stuffing up my mental health with her experimenting of prescribing me all sorts of different meds, instead of the very first reason I was first referred to her, which was to sort out my meds and give me a weaning off plan for valium! I've been a fool, going along with whatever she was doing, trusting she knows best. Thanks for letting me know that it is also up to me, the patient, to ask questions, and not be cowed by these professionals or be too shy to question their judgement. I will DEFINITELY do my research from now on, BEFORE ever taking another medication prescribed for me. I can't thank you enough, nursegirl6572, for your open honest views and advice. IT'S BACK TO NATURE, FOR ME FROM NOW ON! I'm sick of poisoning my body with dangerous and unnecessary drugs.
Thank you so much psychdegree! I was a bit hurt at first, but realized that people are just being honest, and maybe I hadn't explained properly. Thanks for your understanding. Your being a Christian too, helps,, and I am renewing my faith, or at least trying to, to be healed, both physically and mentally and just to take One Day At a Time! I'll be getting it all sorted on the 8th, when I see my GP. Just hope I won't be the one getting in trouble for never asking if she knew my psych was prescribing valium. Why would I think to ask that, when she has my file on computer right in front of her when I walk in the door to see her? Anyway. Feeling very anxious at the moment as we have to go to a family get-together. Fancy being jittery about that! It's my family, but I'm so full of anxiety and depression, I find it hard to go out the front door. Coping, but only just!
Hi again psychdegree, I also wanted to say how pleased I am that you're also a Christian, and yes God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, so that whosoever believes in Him, shall not perish but have everlasting Life. Or words to that effect, that I remember learning at Sunday School so many lifetimes ago. I've been listening to Joyce Meyer lately and have bought some of her books, hoping to renew my faith and trust in God that I lost somehow, somewhere along the way That's a whole other story. The important issue here is to ask my GP why was I getting a script for valium from her and also one from the psych she referred me too. What a mess this situation has turned into. Maybe it's a good thing that Tramadol didn't agree with me and made me anxious for no reason, that will finally lead me to getting some answers for both. The psych has been most unfair, but I should really hold off my judgement of her, until I hear what she has to say for herself, for not having thoroughly read teough my list of meds. The valium was the reason I was referred to her in the 1st place, to help me wean off it, so she'd have to be stupid not to know that I'm on it and getting scripts from my GP. I am repeating myself with every post I reply to. I'm new at this, and not sure if I have to reply to all my replies or what? I just know that I appreciate all, for being there and giving their advice, and that I'm not alone. It helps, to read your reply as you understand how bad withdrawal can be.
Thanks remar, Yes I am just hanging in there and each day brings me closer to getting some answers, and I can get all this mess sorted out once and for all. Still struggling with withdrawal anxiety, with the Tramadol weaning, less valium because of the mix up, but managing to cope, as just having the support from people on this forum, is a big help, knowing I'm not alone. Also there is light at the end of the tunnel, and once the withdrawal period is over, things should start looking brighter.
I meant to also say how sorry I am that your house was broken into. What a rotten thing to have happen! I hate thieves. I just hope you get your laptop back, and whatever else they'e taken. Best wishes, and thanks again for your kind words. Yes, some were from others, a bit harsh, but honest and I appreciate honesty!
I'm so glad you were able to cool off a bit and realize that while it was maybe a bit hard to hear, I was raising very valid concerns. I would never intentionally be mean to someone.
I'm glad you realize that it's time to get very honest with yourself about what's been going on. The fact is you DO have a history of addiction and you WERE abusing your meds. I think while the docs may not have communicated too well with each other, I think you perhaps didn't go out of your way to disclose what you were getting from what doctor. I think you knew it wasn't right to receive both of those scripts, yet you didn't try to fix it by bringing it to the doctor's attention. That was your addiction talking.
The IMPORTANT thing is that you're on the right track and you're wiser now that this has happened. You know that YOU as a patient have responsibility to disclose things to all of the people involved in your medical care. You know to ask questions and make informed decisions about what the doctors want to prescribe you. And I think the most important thing is, you've learned that it's important to be very honest with yourself, with your addiction history, as to what's going on.
As you know, denial is a fundamental part of addiction. It's very important, if you want to make progress in your recovery, that you be honest and take accountability for YOUR role in this confusion. I'm not saying this situation is 100% YOUR fault, but I think a good but of it lies with you...both because you were being complacent with disclosure, and also because you were abusing your meds. The two of them go together. I think the doctors played a role in this as well, but nearly to the extent you originally described. Just my honest opinion.
I've been posting here for many years, and sometimes, different situations require different approaches, IMO. When I see someone making a lot of excuses, and not maybe being very honest with themselves, I think it's very important to be straightforward in my advice and my take on the situation. I knew my words were not going to be easy for you to read, but I was HOPING they would make you think, and thankfully, they did. Once you got past that initial reaction (which is normal) of wanting to be upset or defensive...you got down to the nitty gritty and did some honest assessing of the situation, and that's exactly what you did. I'm proud of you for that. It's not easy to sometimes swallow your pride and admit your ownership in something that you feel bad about, or about something you were very much wanting to blame others for. I care very much about people, and while I may have approached you very directly and honestly, I also expressed that I was hoping nothing but the best for you, and that I was here for you.
My advice to you at this point is NOT to do a lot of finger pointing or make any excuses as far as your approach with the doctors. I think you should be 100% honest with your doctors...both about your abuse of your scripts, AND your concerns about your meds and your treatment moving forward. From here on out, YOU have to be dilligent about making sure you're not accepting Rx'es that would put your recovery at risk. This is going to be something you have to do for LIFE. Not just for a little while. The truth is, some meds will be contraindicated for you because of their abuse potential. You WILL have plenty of other options, you just have to be sure you find a doctor who you can talk to, preferrably one with experience in dealing with concurrent diagnoses of mental ilness and addiction. It's a tricky mix...as usually a person finds themselves in active addiction as a way to self medicate away their symptoms of anxiety, depression, bi-polar, whatever the case may be. Finding a doctor who knows his or her way around both of those is a bonus.
I think being a little humble here would be a good thing. Ask for honest help from your doctor...explain that you want to be safely tapered off the Valium, and then you want to reevaluate your medication regimen to find a treatment approach that will not only help you, but also protect your recovery.
Tapering off the Valium may be tricky, do you have someone who could hold the meds for you? You are going to be tempted to abuse them, so that's important...and it's also important thaty it's not just stopped abruptly. I also read that you were now abusing Ambien (I think?) to help with your w/d symptoms. As you recognize, this has sort of snowballed, and is definitely something you need to address. You need to tell the docs that as well. I think you need to seek help for the addiction issues, in the form of private therapy, AA/NA meetings, pastoral support, whatever you are comfortable with (a little of all would be great!).
You will get through this, even though it may be rough along the way, no doubt. You have come a long way already, from initially putting all of the blame for this situation on your doctors, to you now taking some of the responsibility for it. That's great! Everything in life is a stepping stone, a learning lesson. We would never be able to improve ourselves and work on becoming better people without being able to admit our issues, our faults, and our shortcomings. NONE of this is ANY reflection of who YOU are as a person, addiction is not a character trait or a personality flaw....it's a disease, and it needs treated. None of this takes away from your character.
Hang in there...let us know how the appointments go. Again, honesty is the best policy here...and that's not always an easy thing to do. I see you've posted in the addiction forum a bit...please also turn to those wonderful people for support and guidance through this. They have been where you are, they have lived it. They will be able to help you formulate what you're going to say to your doctors, and where to go from here. And of course, we'll be here to help you with the anxiety end of it. Prayers for you that you're feeling better soon! Take care!
Yes, the important thing is that you are getting on the right track. Well said nursegirl.
One of the things we know about addiction and recovery is that one really has to be honest and own what has happened. Clearly you knew you were getting two scripts, more pills than you needed and made use of them by taking them or giving them to people. That isn't your doctor's fault but rather a choice you made. It is not judgemental or attacking to say this because it really does need to be said . . . by you!! You have to be honest with yourself for the best chance of getting and staying sober.
On a public web site, people offer all kinds of things to those who post. It can sometimes be hard to hear at the moment and rub us the wrong way. But knowing that all that is written is in an effort to help may take the sting out of it. all anyone wants here is for you to get clean and feel better. And some suggestions and comments aren't sugar coated but meant to help.
The psychiatrist and gp and any doctor you go to from now on is right to keep their eyes on this situation and carefully moniter any scripts they give you including only a few pills at a time. This will ultimately help you with your sobriety. Doctors put a certain amount of trust in their patients just like we do them. Good luck dear and I really hope that things turn out well here.
It's hard work but I hear how you so very much want to get clean and feel better. Peace and luck!!!
I've always thought it was best to have my GP do all the prescribing and know about everything I'm taking. Maybe the system I go to is better at this but every visit they ask me if the list of meds is current and correct. If they don't ask I would write up a list of
Type, dose, how often and how many I take. I've seen other doctors who prescribe things but they write the initial prescription (I report it) and my GP does it from then on. *Oh - And I make sure that if I see anyone other then the GDoc they know exactly what drugs I take and whats wrong with me.
I've read about Dr Shopping and I think this is a good thing for them to keep an eye on. That said - if you can't work well with any doctor don't be afraid to say so at the next visit. Tell them whats wrong and ask them if they could suggest someone. If they don't you can pick a random one but find someone you trust, who can look at the big picture of what meds your taking and help you. Good luck!
You certainly know your stuff! You're right in many ways.It DID cross my mind to ask my GP and Psych about being prescribed valium by both, but honestly thought they both knew. My GP brings up my file every time I have an appt with her for some other reason, totally unrelated to my medication,so I never think to ask her about it while I'm there, as she can surely see the report from the Psych she referred me to, right in front of her nose. When my script from her is due, I usually just phone up for it and pick it up later that day, or the next day. I see my Psych and all she ever asks me is how I'm doing while on Zoloft, how's my sleep, how's my anxiety levels. She too, has my file in front of her and would see the list of meds I had to write before going in to see her for the first time. I just don't think to ask her why I'm being prescribed valium by both. My very first question when I had my first appt with her was,to ask for a weaning off plan from valium. She told me not just yet, as she wanted to get my depression under control first. I would ask her at nearly every appt when do I start weaning off valium. She just kept saying not yet. I think, deep down, that it was probably not right, to get a script from each of them, but as you said, the addiction was keeping me hooked, and even though I really want to get get off valium, I did like having a stock for 'just in case'. I DID tell her the way I took it, 1 here and there, none sometimes, then when things had built up to the point where 1 more thing would be the last straw, I'd take 4-6 on that day. This is the truth. That's when she said it's ok to do it like that, but warned me not go longer than 4 days without any etc, because I'd get the anxiety back bad. I'm on a lot of meds, and never abuse those, but for some reason, valium, which I hate with a vengeance, makes me panic when I'm nearly out of them. 1 or 2 does nothing to calm me, so that's why I don't bother with it when things are calm and ordinary at home. Of course, now I had started abusing zopiclone, to help with my tramadol withdrawal. Have had to stop using those, as I'd run out before the next script is due, and so far I'm coping with that. The tramadol weaning is going well too and I'm not feeling quite so anxious as I did when I first started cutting down the dosage. The valium well, I've had no choice but to have only 1 a day, as the pharmacist is only dispensing me 7 for a week, and so on. Why, I have no idea. I asked him today, and he said that's what is written on the script I put in, from my Psych. How lovely of her to let me know she was cutting my dosage down! (I'm being sarcastic). I think that is so unprofessional of her, to not even have the courtesy to at least phone me or write a letter explaining why. Anyway, I have the script from my GP for 50 valium, so that's why I'm not panicking, but I am only taking 1, as I really want to get off it. I've given up worrying about it and am glad in a way, as it's forcing me to take it as prescribed. I feel like just not having any and putting up with the withdrawal feelings, then be done with it altogether. I've been through some terrible indescribable withdrawals many times, back in my drinking days, so surely I can withstand this. Easy to say while I'm feeling quite calm at the moment and have had nothing but the herbal valerian, hops and passionflower, with a 'calm' herbal tea that my daughter made with a mixture of calming herbs. (She is studying to be a Naturopath and is doing herbal study at the moment). Yes, I've always admitted I have an addiction to valium, and the other pain meds I'm on, but denied that valium is a problem, as I justified to myself and to others, that because I didn't take it every day, I was OK. It took being prescribed tramadol that started the anxiety up again, and needing valium to cope with weaning off it, giving my friend 6 or 8, then the pharmacist only giving me 7 when I put in my script for 50 from my Psych, that made me realize how addicted I am to valium, as I panicked when I didn't have my usual stock there to have for 'just in case'. Oh God! This nightmare will soon be over, though it'll be a long road to recovery, I know this. A Chinese herbalist is giving me little black herbal pills to help me with anxiety while I'm withdrawing, and other ones for my stomach distress as I can't eat solids at the moment and am waiting for the hosp to book me in for a sigmoidoscoy for a suspected stricture in my intestines, plus I have a bowel prolapse which needs surgery. He is also giving me herbs for my advanced osteoarthritis, so hope to get relief with these so I can wean off the pain meds which don't work anymore. Thank you so much for making me think and wake up to myself and to stop denying. I'll reply to the other kind people who replied to my posts, tomorrow as I'm going to bed now. Thanks again, nursegirl6572. Thanks to all for the advice and support!
Thank you specialmom, nuresegirl was right and you're right too. I thank you for your honest and well-meaning advice. It's true, I did always wonder why I was getting a script from each, and sort of knew it couldn't be right, but never thought (or I pushed it to the back of my mind and blocked the thought) to ask each if they knew the other was prescribing valium for me. I guess subconsciously, that I wanted both scripts, to make sure I always had plenty to fall back on in times of trauma. I have looked long and hard at myself and see the pattern I was following is the same as when I used to drink. I was a binge drinker, so I see now, that while I may not have a valium every day and just 1 or 2 here and there, every now and then, when things got too much for me, I'd take up to 6, maybe more, as 1 or 2 did nothing to calm me as my body is so used to it after being on it for probably 20 years, that I had to have much more to get the calming effect. I never took it to get high, I promise you that. I don't think valium makes you high anyway, and I never want to feel even a little bit high, because it would remind me too much of the bad days of my drinking. That would scare me. I don't want to be addicted to prescribed meds either and hate how it all snuck up on me, so insidiously. I cannot bear the nightmare of living with addiction and just want to feel clean and whole and natural again, to be me again. I am really looking forward to seeing my GP on the 8th, to ask if she knows the psych she referred me to, is also prescribing valium. I want to come clean, be totally honest with her, and ask if I could please go on the Professor Ashton's Weaning off Valium Plan. I'm still tapering my tramadol by 25mg, and tomorrow will cut another 25mg of my prescribed dose, as I want to get off that horrible drug. It does nothing for my arthritis pain, so what's the point in taking it?, making my liver work hard to metabolise it, and most especially, it makes me more anxious than ever. I was over that horrific anxiety that I had last year for over 6 mths and never want to feel that ever again. I'll be seeing the psych on 10th, and have a lot to say to her, the way she's 'treated' me. She has cut down my valium dose, and has told the pharmacy to give me only 7 each week. She never even had the courtesy to phone or write to tell me she was doing that. I don't care that I didn't get the full script for 50 at once, it's the fact that she never even discussed it with me and she's supposed to be a psych, a mental health specialist, for heaven's sake! She's done nothing but experiment on me. Anyway, all that's beside the point I guess. Thanks so much for your advice and support and for being there. I'm so glad I found this website. It really helps to be able to talk honestly about what I'm going through, and to receive such great support.
Thanks JamesC186282, That sounds like the best idea, to tell any GP and specialist that I have to see, exactly what meds I'm on, every time. They don't bother to ask about my current meds here, I'm afraid. BUT, before my first appt with the psych my GP referred me to, I had to write down all the meds I was on. I was very surprised she handed me a script for valium when she had the form I filled in, right in her hand. I was in such an awful state of anxiety, deep depression at the time, and very muddled in my thinking, so didn't question it. I did wonder, later on down the track, when my depression and anxiety was under control, no thanks to the psych either. I stumbled upon the solution myself. That's another story. The psych had just kept prescribing and experimenting with different meds on me, all of which made me so ill and nauseous with worse anxiety and deeper depression than ever, that I was suicidal, going as far as to try and find ways of how to kill yourself fast and painlessly. Now, reading about what some people had done was enough to SCARE ME TO DEATH! I'd never have the guts anyway and also I was brought up as a Christian and believe it's a sin, so I'd be scared of going to Hell if I took my own life. Anyway, I'm seeing my GP on the 8th and psych on the 10th. Will ask both about the valium and hopefully, they won't sue me for not letting on that they were both prescribing it for me. I sort of felt it wasn't right, but never asked them if they knew that both were prescribing it, as I really thought they knew. For heaven's sake, they both pll up my file every time I see them, and surely must see what meds eah has prescribed. As I posted before, I guess that subconsciously, I wanted to have the 2 scripts, to make sure I had a stock to fall back on when times got tough. Very foolish, I know, but as nuresgirl said, that is my addiction talking, and I never saw that before. I'm going to beat this with all the strength I possess, as I HATE being controlled by a med, just as I used to HATE being controlled by alcohol. Thank God I had an accident that left me in a coma, survived somehow against all odds, and never took a drink again. That was 4 years ago and though I may have lost my leg, I gained my health and sanity, I didn't see that pain meds and valium were making me addicted all over again, not to drink, but by prescribed meds. Far out! I've just about used up all my strength and can't take much more. I'm suffering right this minute, from withdrawal symptoms, from weaning off Tramadol, having less valium, less zopiclone and I've ran out of Tramadol, as I forgot to ring up for a script last week. AND it's Easter holidays, so can't get a script. What a bloody idiot! (sorry about swearing) What else can I do now, but laugh? What a predicament! Now what.? I've not enough valium or any pain meds to take, to ease these shakes and feelings of fear in my tummy, nausea, sweating and just so scared! I was OK an hour ago, so why now, has it hit me? I wish I just die. This is horrific! Thanks for being there for me and 'listening', and for your encouragement. It does help!
Most definitely! Unfortunately, there aren't many psyches around that bulk bill, so would have to pay over $300 for a private one. I just haven't got that kind of money. The psych I was referred to, has been no help at all, and just kept happily prescribing this and that to see what happens to me. No, not really. I guess she was just trying to find the right med to suit me, I don't know, but she's sent me nearly loony and if I hadn't weaned myself off the meds she prescribed, I don't know where I'd be now. I certainly don't know why she prescribed valium and now I know that I should have asked if she my GP was also prescribing it. I figured she knew, as she has my file in front of her and even at my first appt with her, I had to write down the meds I was on. Blow 'em all! I'll fix myself up. I found the solution to my anxiety/depression last year by accident. I have phantom limb pain, due to amputation of my right leg, and had some Gabapentin left which I'd suddenly stopped taking 6 months earlier, because of the cost. within a week, I was a mumbling, jittery wreck, with major panic attacks and major fear and didn't know why. My amputee doc said it's ok to just stop taking Gabapentin, as it's a non-addictive drug, but have since learnt that you never just suddenly stop ANY med, but should taper down. Anyway, I took 1 Gabapentin and withn 2 hours, I suddenly realized 'hey, I actually feel 'normal'. The anxiety had gone and I was left with a glimmer of hope. Didn't have one the next day, and sure enough, anxiety hit me again, so the day after that I took a Gabapentin, and relief came again, within 2 hours, so I continued taking it every day. Told my psych who said it's sometimes used as an 'off-label' for anxiety/depression. Silly cow! Why didn't she put 2 and 2 together in the first place, instead of trying me on all those other psychodellic, psychotropic, psycho whatever, drugs she put me on which made me worse than ever that I felt suicidal. Now, damn Tramdadol has brought the anxiety back, so definitely weaning off that slowly and can't wait to be free of it. Scared to take more Gabapentin tough, so will try to get through this withdrawal from Tramadol and valium, and now the zopiclone I had started using to help me cope, because I didn't have enough valium. Now I haven't got enough zopiclone, so am forced to have less. God, the mess I get myself into, and things I make myself go through, all because I'm so desperate for relief! But end up in worse bother than ever! Once I'm off these meds, it's NO MORE MEDS for me. I'll study natural ways to hea.l. Sick of becoming addicted to these rotten pills that only work short term, then having to wean off and suffer terribly while withdrawing from them. Thanks remar for taking the time to write your replies and for your support and advice.
Thanks again psychdegree! I appreciate that you will keep me in your prayers. I am struggling at the moment. I was OK this morning, for about 2 hours, then wham! Major shakiness, fear in tummy, nausea sweating hot and cold and very antsy. I should lay down and watch the movie "The Greatest Story Ever Told', that's on TV at the moment,. I think it's about Jesus, so would be so nice to watch, to take my mind off myself and my feelings of helplessness and despair. I can't even turn to valium anymore, as I haven't got enough to last until my next script is due, so I have to take as prescribed now. Before, I used to like having a stock, for 'just in case', and that's probably why (subconsciously) I never asked my GP and psych if they both knew they were both prescribing valium for me. I think I knew deep down, that it couldn't be right, but justified it by thinking and even telling people that I didn't understand why I had to get 2 scripts instead of just 1 from either doc, and that they must know, as they have my file in front of them every appt time. I'm not going to take the full blame for this mess, but will take some of it, as I should've asked. What a predicament I'm in today. I forgot to ring up for scripts for Tramadol, before the holidays. Now of course, I've run out of Tramadol, and even though I'm weaning off it, it's apparently dangerous to have none suddenly. I'll ring the clinic just in case someone is there, but doubt it as it's Easter Sunday. My hubby has some, as he takes it with no trouble and is not sensitive to it like me, so if worst comes to worst, he said I can have a little of his.AND stupid me again! I didn't realize I didn't have a repeat script for Zoloft from my psych, or a script for that sleep med, Imovane (zopiclone), so I'm nearly out of them, and won't be seeing her till the 10th. Holidays now, and she won't be there, so can't ring for these scripts. What a dill I am! God only knows how I'll get through this lot, with no meds to take for relief, and that I'm not supposed to be without. Luckily I have the herbal tablets, Valerian, and a 'calm' tea mixture that my daughter made up for me, with a bunch of calming herbs, as she's studying to become a Naturopath, and part of her studies is herbal healing. I've been through extremely horrific withdrawals in the past, back in my addictive drinking days, and honestly don't know how I survived them, but I did and pulled through OK, till the next drinking binge and have to start all over. So, 25 years of enduring all that, I can surely withstand this enforced one. Thank God I stopped drinking 4 years ago, due to an accident that put me in a coma for 3 weeks, and wasn't expected to live, but somehow survived. I guess my time wasn't up yet. But gees, to survive all that pain that went with losing my leg, physically and mentally, it just doesn't seem fair that I still have to suffer, It's all a learning experience I guess, and I must accept it and go on. I will hopefully, get off all medications and go the natural way, after all this. I reckon I'm on way too many and there must surely be interactions. My own fault in a way, as I've been desperate for pain relief for arthritis and phantom limb pain. Thought I needed the anti-depressant I have been on for over 10 years, but didn't have while in the coma, same as valium. I went back on that as I'd read that it helps relieve Tinnitus, which is another bane in my life, with the constant hissing, singing kettle noise in my right ear. And it did help. For 2 weeks only! By then I was hooked on it again. Anyway, it all boils down to far too many meds and I feel unclean. I want to feel cleansed, in body and in spirit. I know I'm repeating myself, but I've come to see that the way I was taking valium, 1 some days, 2 another, none for another few days, then a whole bunch, maybe 4 or ,6-8 on another day when things got too much to bear. Just like my pattern of binge-drinking. Why do I put myself through all this? Now the joke's on me! Only 6 Zoloft left, 5 zopiclone left, less valium and now no Tramadol. My own stupid fault for not checking how many I had left and that I needed to ring for scripts before the Easter holidays. I'm in quite a state at the moment and it's so awful, I can't describe. Will try to lay down and watch the rest of the movie, have herbal tea and herbal Valerian, hops and Passionflower tabs and hope for the best. And to top it all off, I can't hardly eat, especially any solids, as something is wrong with my bowel. I've been diagnosed with a prolapse, but that doesn't explain all the pain I get in the tummy after eating. Waiting for the hospital to ring to book me in for a sigmoidoscopy for a suspected stricture in my intestines. Have had numeros and painful tests, and haven't a clue what for and what the results are, as the bowels surgeons are fully bookd and won't know until the 11th April. Don't know when I'll have the sigmoidoscopy. Far out! Why did I survive my accident? Well, thanks to Joyce Meyer, I am tentatively seeking Jesus again and to renew my faith that I lost, not just because of losing my leg, but other things that have happened, not just to me, but my family, as well. Cruelty and torment!
I hope you're not cutting down too fast on your meds. And I do hope you can get all of this straightened out soon. I understand what it feels like to want relief when you have such severe anxiety. It is awful! The panic attacks and anxiety. We're here to support you and help in anyway we can.
I also meant to ask you what all the red flags are that you see? I also want to say I WAS NOT doctor shopping! I was referred to the psych by my GP. I just wanted to make that clear. I also was NOT meaning to be drug-seeking on PURPOSE. If I was I'd have definitely gone to different docs to get more scripts and then find different pharmacists to fill them. Being an amputee, I cannot drive and certainly can't walk far, so would have a very hard if not impossible time in getting to other docs and other pharmacies. My husband is with me 24/7, and I couldn't hide anything from him. I wouldn't want to, as I could not bear the heavy burden of guilt that would cause me to have. I do NOT like keeping secrets from the man I love. I DO admit and have ALWAYS admitted to m family and friends, that I AM ADDICTED TO VALIUM but also that i want very much to get off it. If I had been purposefully drug-seeking I would have made sure I didn't take my valium scripts from either Dr, to the same chemist. I SWEAR that I did not keep a record of which doc gave me a script, when or where i got them filled. Yes, I'm addicted and that's why I always made sure I got the scripts filled when they were due, so as to have a stock for emergencies. I only gave some to my friend just the once, just before all this anxiety started up again. She has given me 3 back, but still owes me some. It doesn't matter. I'll get by. I'll never give any away ever again, as I can see how it causes strife. I just want to say another thank you though, for making me think, and to stop pushing the addiction thought to the back of my mind, not denying it, but ignoring it. All this has caused great anxiety, probably because of guilt, but also chemical because of the Tramadol which led me to seeking help for my anxiety caused by that. It's brought everything to the foreground and now that I'm facing up to it, I can really start to do something about it. First by telling my GP everything, then the psych. I'm sure I'm repeating myself a lot on this site, so I apologise for that. Another day nearly over, and it's been a real struggle I still appreciate your opinions and advice. Please don't be offended by my bluntness. I did take notice of you and am thankful you said what you did but still had to clear my name in regards to the doctor shopping.
Refilling can become a problem when you have lots of different meds. I'm dealing with hummm.. Gotta count this. 4 different things? Some of this is getting older I guess. Some of this is just long term health issues I got from my parents. Anyway - I think it helps to make some kind of plan when to refill things so you don't run out. Stopping meds suddenly can be dangerous in many cases.
If you use a planner just make some notes *And try to sync things up if possible so you are calling in fewer times. Nothing ***** quite so much as having to call on different days for every pill. Running out ***** more of course.
I "think" on 30 day scripts for non restricted drugs you can call in a refill a week early. On 90 days it probably is ok a couple weeks early. You may wish to consider having a reputable place do all this mail order. One of the insurance plans I had preferred the patients do that and they had some incentive like 4 refills for the price of 3 (Can't remember) I really liked not having to drive around.
Addiction is such an awful thing. I'm glad I don't deal with that. I think in many people its some kind of gene that makes you open to it or not.
Gabapatent (Spelled?) is a nerve drug over here and its mostly used for pain issues. Its not an opiate so its not full of baggage. It can do some weird things to some people. Like cognitive issues. The doctor who prescribed it was quick to cut it off when I started reporting some of the strangeness. He said that in the vast majority of cases there aren't any side effects at all.
I know you want to use natural stuff to deal with MI but I've seen so many people just "Stop taking their meds" and get much worse so... I hope you will stick with it. You might want to journal so you can give your doctors some good feedback. Its not A+B=C in prescribing meds. Its the right med at the right dose taken the right number of times a day (or week - whatever) And once you find something that works it can change later. Maybe you need more (or less) or you need to switch to a different drug. Don't give up. Don't get discouraged.
My goodness that is alot to deal with shugalug! I've been there and wondered why God did I make it through this AWFUL possible (health wise) just to go through something that seems much worse, or at least much more extensive and longer. But He ALWAYS has a reason. Since o of my problems have gotten better I've realized that if i hadnt gone through them I woulnd't be here today...I could never minister or witness to someone who walked down the same road & give them comfort. Or even for my self, to realize "I went through that I know I can get thought this" or realize whats important in life or how not to sweat the small stuff. Not very many ppl have been through the things I have at such a young age and its been pretty much my whole life. So to say all that I've been there I know where your at right now & trust me once you get to where you take the meds to keep you stable & learn how to handle things without meds that can end up making things worse you will see how much changes, this is coming from my experience. God will NEVER put you through through anything you cant endure. I have faith you are strong! Your survived a coma and thats alot! I hope today was a better day & Im still here anytime.
I don't know why, but I keep coming back to reading your comments. Something is strongly making me want to re-connect with you. You can ignore my messages to you, if you don't feel comfortable with me. That's OK. I just want to let you know that the valium and zopiclone business is all sorted! YAY! I'm also off Tramadol and I feel on top of the world, mentally. Things have put in motion with my bowels (haha, bowel motions!). I've had no valium or zopiclone today, but of course will not just stop suddenly. Will leave it as long as possible, then I'd better take as prescribed. Yes, I'm behaving myself and not abusing my meds and even trying to take less, as I really do want to get off those 2 at least! Re-reading your comments and also some of your comments to others, have made me see you've been through anxiety issues yourself, in the past, so naturally, having been there, you're able to give great advice. I want apologize again, for some of my inappropriate comments to you. You were very understanding, and I still screwed it up with you, and lost your support. I hope things are going well with you. God Bless you nursegirl. Thanks again.
I don't know if I replied to this post of yours. Well anyway, I spoke to my GP first, as she was the one who referred me to the Pysch. Told her the psych was prescribing valium also. She was shocked of course. She had my file in front of her and went looking through it. She said it hadn't been written on the reports sent by her, and in fact she hadn't sent any reports since Jan. She was very perplexed and said she'd referred me to her for the purpose of sorting out my meds and weaning off valium. She said I'd have to get an urgent appt with the psych, ask her if she knew that I'd been prescribed valium by her, my GP and go from there. Got the appt 2 days later. Told the psych my GP had been prescribing it too and it was in my referral letter to her from my GP. Psych was not happy. Said she didn't know. Looked at my info, went very quiet and just said "well I'll have to prescribe for you, not your GP". I asked can I now be finally weaned off it? She said we'll work it out at your next appt and to "see her in 2 weeks, bye bye". All sorted! And Psych with egg on her face! So, mistakes do happen. She saw in her file on me, that I had asked to be weaned off it etc. So I'm on my way and I'm OK. Hahahahaha! I was right all along, honest, and desperate for support with all this business. I'm happy as a lark these days, as I'm off Tramadol. I did it! Weaning off valium & zopiclone no problem. Rang hosp re bowel probs since way before Dec last year. Got things set in motion (bowel motion, haha) and will be operated on Apr 30th. Getting healing with herbal remedies for bowel & acupuncture for arthritis, with herbs for that too. Will be able to eat like a normal human soon. Helping a friend of my daughter. This friend has addiction probs with all the anxiety that goes with it, hoping that through my experiences, I can offer comfort,understanding & support and I'd never be accusatory. We addictive types know we're a lot to blame for our predicaments. That's why we reach out for help & understanding, as we want to get off these soul, mind & body destroying meds, or whatever poison we've chosen to feed our addiction. 6 weeks ago, I'd never thought I'd be this happy and free.I gave it everything I had, to be free and have been totally honest.about it all. I'm no schemer. Lies are harder than telling the truth. I just want to laugh and laugh at those of you who thought I was being dishonest. It's the funniest thing I've seen in a long time, all those oh so serious comments by know-it-alls. If anything, I've been through more than most would ever experience even if they lived to be 100. And I've lived to tell the tale.I wish everyone could have what I've now got - peace of mind happiness and joy in living!
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