ANXIETY OR OCD?

[niks777]

I was in a online relationship with a girl since 1 and a half year she loved me a lot but the problem was she was always found flirting with some other
guys behind my back in the online world caught her red handed flirting with guys not once but a couple of times which use to make me furious breaking it up
with her every time then she came back to me always persuading me to come back and i use to feel pitty on her and use to go with her back we shared many good
memories but her habit of everytime being flirty with guys eneded the relationship one day with me breaking it up with her forever, i cant even say with
full gurrantee that she was faithful to me all this time while i was with her , but 3 months back when i brokeup with her
cause she was again found getting over friendly with another guy and texting my best friend to make me feel jelous coz we had an arguement i left her saying
that am going forever and wont back the in 2 months i started missing her and went back to her but she wouldnt except me back saying that i was in a consatnt
habit of breaking up with her but at the same time she admitted that not even one issue arose from my side , i was quite hurt by all this and wanted to shut
her mouth so i just admiited that it was all my fault and she did the right thing by not accepting me back but then she asked me not to block her on whatsapp ever
coz she dont wana loose me as a friend but the problem is i dont wana be her friend i just wana block her on whatsapp and move on with my life and i did block her
but she wouldnt block me as i went everyday to check the block list i again felt pitty and unblocked her on whatsapp but now she messages me occasionally but says she
wont chat with me much as she gona get attracted to me again and she dont wana let that happen am deeply hurt by the entire episode i just wana leave her forever like we never met
and move on but theres such a STRONG URGE in me and intense pressure on my head covers my head my eyes feel very heavy i think am doing something really wrong by not accepting her
her friendship but deep down i know its an individuals choice i can always say NO but the compulsion is so strong and since am quite a god fearing person i feel am doing something
wrong by not accpeting her friendship theres an intense pressure that clouds on my head till my eyes strong compulsion of going to her this pressure is on my head atleast 5 days a week
the entire day its HORROFIC dunno when this night will end for me somene help !!!!!!!!!!!!!! IS THIS PRESSURE ANXIETY OR OCD

[Paxiled]

Your profile says you're 28.  Is this true, because you sound like a much much younger person.  Am I right that you're saying this is all over a person you have never once met in person?  This is something teenagers go through, and perhaps this is your first experience, if an online relationship can be called that given this person could be anyone or no one since you've never met in the flesh, with a relationship, but relationships are hard, endings are hard, maintaining them is hard. they are full of joy but also of pain.  By 28 we've usually gone through this a few times so it's not a surprise that it's hard.  No way to say if you suffer from anxiety from this, and OCD is a particular form of anxiety, but if everyone who ever had a really hard time in a relationship were judged to suffer from a mental illness the whole population of Earth would be confined to mental hospitals.  You need someone adult to talk to who can help you decide what's going on -- if there are psychologists where you are, consider seeing one.  Peace.

[niks777]

okay thanks for your reply first of all and yes sir am 28 and being from a indian family parents here only believe in arranged marriges so i gave more importance to career always and family never dated in real and all but theres this online app i just went on out of curiosity and i met this girl we had strong bondings she even sent me gifts and all sitting in another country so all that made me quite serious for her in this relationship but when she walked away on me leaving an offer of friendship all this is quite new for me so thats why its diificult to handle but this compulsion in my head of going back to her for friendship is irritating its so ****** strong i feel a certain kind of heaviness in my head down till my eyes ....i just wana forget her once and for all not seeing back ever on her but this compulsion keeps distracting me !!!  how will a psychologist help tho in this ?

[Paxiled]

They will help you understand why you're thinking this way and why it's an unhealthy way to be thinking.  You're obsessing over a lost relationship, this is normal, it's your first time, but you're not accepting that it's normal because at 28 you're not around a bunch of people going through it too.  That leaves you isolated with these thoughts, and a professional will know how to help you sort them out.  I'd also look into some very practical things that exist in your country that we've adopted throughout the world to help deal with obsessed minds, such as yoga and meditation.  Your country gave these gifts to the world -- look into them.  Peace.

[AnxiousNoMore]

Her giving you gifts isn't a love bond. At the time she might have felt so, but I wouldn't place any importance on them if I were you, since you never even met her.

[niks777]

okay brother thanks a lot for your valuable opnion peace to you too feels good after talking to you