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Afraid to go to work
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Afraid to go to work

My anxiety attacks always happen at my job. I called in today but I cannot keep doing this.
37 Comments Post a Comment
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480448_tn?1403547723
Oh geez.  That can be s rough!  Yes, you certainly cannot keep mising your work.  As hard is it may be, you're going to have to keep pushing through.

I can't recall, are you on meds?  In therapy?  I remember you being in some kind of treatment, but can't recall what.

You avoiding work is only reinforcing the panic in your mind.  The more you avoid a place, or situation where you had a panic attack, the more your brain thinks there is REALLY something to fear, hence why they continue to recur.

My advice is to ask your doc about a low dose "as needed" rescue med, like Xanax or Ativan, that you can use to get you through those rough moments at work, so you can stick it out.

I feel for you, that's a tough spot to be in for sure.  Please update us.
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1348086_tn?1370786785
I am in therapy. I had to miss my last meeting with the therapist. I take Prozac with klonopin as needed. I have not had to take one yet. I took clorazepate as needed up until about 2 months ago. He changed me to klonopin because I felt the clorazepate wasn't working.

What can I expect in the difference of clorazepate and klonopin if I have to take one?
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480448_tn?1403547723
The Klonopin will probably have a much more noticeable effect on the anxiety for you.  You definitely need to start utilizing that!  Klonopin is really best used on a regular basis, so it's allowed to build up in the plasma, creating less ups and downs, but people DO use them "as needed" also.  You have to give that a try!

My advice to you is to start trying the Klonopin to help with the work anxiety.  Before you take it at work, take one at home, so you know how it will affect you.  Then, when you have determined it would be okay to drive after you've taken it, take one about an hour before you leave for work.  I think that will make a HUGE difference for you!

I have PRN Ativan (have had it for years).  I ONLY take one when I can't stand the anxiety anymore, but I've also learned not to make myself suffer when the med is right there.  If I need it, I take it...and it works so well.  Most of the anxiety is gone, or at least, reduced to a tolerable level so I can function without feeling like I want to run for the hills.

PLEASE try it.  Also, the more you stick it out and endure the anxiety at work, the POSITIVE reinforcement your brain will get...making it realize there is nothing to be afraid of.  THAT'S the key in undoing that panic reaction.  The more and more you don't "flee", the more your anxiety will improve.

I'm assuming you have missed the therapy appt due to the anxiety also?  Same thing there...you HAVE to push yourself, as hard as it is.  Those appts are SO vital to this process.

I'm thinking about you.  I've been where you are, and remember how hard it was.  Fighting just to get to therapy, and having a hard time going to work.  

At one point in my life...I used to panic EVERY morning about work, and the whole way there, and for about the first hour, until I got into a groove and got busy.  By the end of the day, I'd feel great, victorious.  The next morning, the whole deal started all over again.  I was so disgusted.  About 3-4 weeks steady of that, I started improving....my panic finally started lessening because my brain FINALLY got the message!

Hang in there hon!
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480448_tn?1403547723
Also, I don't know how long you've been on the Prozac, but, if it's been a while you may want to discuss with your doc the fact that it isn't working all that well.  You may need either a higher dose (that's normal from time to time)...or a new med.
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1348086_tn?1370786785
I have been on the Prozac for about 4 months and it has helped. Between my work stress, ex-wife drama, and dying mother, I can understand my own anxiety. And yes, I did miss my appointment due to anxiety. I am becoming agoraphobic again and do not want to be.
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480448_tn?1403547723
Aw, I know how hard it is.  Just keep trying as hard as you can!
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1348086_tn?1370786785
I missed the whole day yesterday but I managed to make it in today. I went ahead and took 1/2 or one of my klonopins before I left. So far I have held on. Just pray for me.
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3149845_tn?1386354841
What work field are you in?
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480448_tn?1403547723
Good for you!!!  Celebrate each and every accomplishment!  Are you finding the Klonopin heklped ease that initial anxiety?

Keep up the good work, and keep us posted!
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1348086_tn?1370786785
Yes. I took it at around 7:00 this morning. I had bad anxiety at first, but at around 11:00 it began subsiding. I don't like the ugh feeling but it beats the anxious feeling.

Life360, I am a programmer in the IT Department.
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3149845_tn?1386354841
I think you should change your job besides the medication. The meds will work but it appears that you job is part of the problem and that isnt working. A person, in my opinion, should look forward to going to work.
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480448_tn?1403547723
Life, you have to understand how panic attacks, and chronic anxiety work.  Just because someone has a panic attack at work doesn't mean the job is the problem.  Alvaa is exhbiting the typical avoidant behavior one has after having a panic attack somewhere.

When a person has a panic attack, anywhere, they being to automatically associate that place with the panic, and start fearing that place, and if the anticipatory anxiety persists, they will begin to avoid that place, causing more reinforcement in the brain that there is something to fear.  If he had had a panic attack in the library, or grocery store, it would be the same thing with those locations.  Sometimes, people even associate PEOPLE, or TIMES of the day with panic, and fear THAT.  For example, if someone had a panic attack at bedtime, they begin to become very anxious at that time of the day.  It's conditioning.

The very worst thing he could do would be to leave his job.  That would send a HUGE message to his brain that there WAS indeed something to fear.  Then, most likely, he would experience the same kind of anxiety at a new job, or in a new profession.  A person with panic attacks HAS to learn to fight that urge to flee a place when they have a panic attack.  That's one way we send a message to our brains that there is nothing to fear from that place.

Now, obviously, it goes without saying that if someone absolutely hates their job,, or it has a VERY high stress rate, then those things can certainly attribute to the anxiety.  I sincerely don't think that's the case here, as alvaa has struggled with panic for some time now.  He's definitely on the right track.

IF he feels a career change would benefit him, that's another story, but it isn't something I would recommend taking on at this point, not until he works on this panic a bit more.  
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3149845_tn?1386354841
Nurse, the reason i suggested this was due to the complete post for help was connected to work. There must be some connection and some reference should be directed at this. If a persons job is eating them up i dont believe it can be ruled out as a possible cause for the anxiety.
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480448_tn?1403547723
I do understand that, however, like I said, in most cases with paic attacks, the fear itself is irrational, meaning alvaa's job isn't causing the anxiety, the anxiety is a result of the panic attacks.  

Certainly only he would know for sure which is the case here.  Even if his job is somewhat stressful, it may not be the cause.  If a person had a super stressful job that started CAUSING severe anxiety and panic attacks, that's totally different.  

The fact that alvaa also deals with a decent amount of agoraphobia leads me to believe that the anxiety is the prime issue here.  He's evebn been ghaving troubke getting to therapy as a result.  That's textbook panic and agoraphobia.

I believe, with the OP, the anxiety issues came first.  Only a person with a history of recurring panic attacks would understand how that works.  For someone without that history, it's difficult for themn to understand why we would fear something that isn't anxiety-producing in and of itself.

It's a tricky situation and requires someone to really carefully evaluate what is what.  I still maintain that leaving his job right now would only solidify the panic.  
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1348086_tn?1370786785
It's more my boss. He is just high strung and a typical IT manager, you know the kind. I love my job for the most part, we are just going through a lot of changes. We are a non-profit organization and we depend on government funding. I don't get paid well enough, so my check is week by week, however, with the economy, finding another job is sort of a mute point. I live in rural Alabama and I want to stay close to my 7 year old daughter. She is the biggest part of my life. Plus, I live with and take care of my elderly mother and I cannot move her away. Sure, I could probably get a job in Nashville or Atlanta where I would have to move 4 hours away but I cannot do that now.

On another note, I took the other half of my klonopin this morning just to be safe. Things seem much better today, all though my boss is on vacation for the rest of the week :) <--- might be why I am less stressed.
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3149845_tn?1386354841
It is interesting how you say less stress and your boss in on vacation. Is there a way you can change the behavior habits that you and your boss have with eachother?
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1348086_tn?1370786785
It usually isn't directed to me. He is just in a hyper or bad mood and this just makes the whole atmosphere dreadful.
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480448_tn?1403547723
I'm glad to hear the Klonopin is helping.  Sounds like your boss is a jerk, we've all been there, done that.  That's one of those things that is hard to predict about a job.  You could make a change, and get another boss who is equally as bad, if not worse.  Sounds like your career and actual job are something you like.

IMO, I don't think your job is causing the panic attacks, I think your anxiety is.  I've been there before.  Certainly, it never hurts to look for something better, or improve your circumstances, but you also have to be realistic.  Logistically, changing jobs doesn't sound like an option right now, and with your anxiety, it may actually cause MORE anxiety, starting something new and unfamiliar. Us people with anxiety don't usually do well in new situations.

I think your priority should be to keep working to manage your anxiety better, by going to therapy, taking your meds, etc.  Just you sticking it out at work will help to break that cycle of anticipatory anxiety about work, which often leads to more anxiety and panic.  When you get to a better place with the anxiety, then you can start looking around.

I think you're doing fine.  One day at a time....
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3149845_tn?1386354841
Nurse's advise it the best for you. I am only adding a few comments to try to minimize the stress at your work as we do need money. Your are a very special person in that you have empathy for your fellow workers as you say most of your bosses behavior is not at you. Ive had jobs like you and the word dreadfull really describes it. Is there any way that you can get your boss reported for treating you all this way? Is there human resources where a confidential complaint can be made. You dont have to be in fear at work. You have rights. No one is above the law. If you need your job and a boss is being unprofessional, something can be done. It is very frustrating to sit an watch abuse but something can be done.
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1348086_tn?1370786785
I know. I just got thrown a curve ball tonight and I may be in the works of seeking legal action. My ex-wife is desperately looking for a job and she is a nurse. She is claiming that she may have to move off to somewhere else. Not across country or anything, heck, not even out of state, but my child has always lived less than 10 minutes from me and has attended the same school from K through 2nd grade. I love her school. It is great and has so much to offer and I don't want her to lose her friends and move in midstream. Also, I attend her school functions, I help her with homework. I get her 2 to 3 days during the week. I do not want her to move away and leave this school system.

I pretended to ignore the text message until later. She has made MANY mistakes which, in a court, could grant me full custody of our kid. Her mistakes have been really bad. Heck, after it is all said and done, I may sue her for my own mental health issues. THIS is the bulk of my issues right now, not my job.
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1348086_tn?1370786785
We are one office over from the CEO. It is known. It is really not a big deal. All IT directors are the same. My boss would double my salary if it was up to him. He is truly a good guy, he just has absolutely no people skills.
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480448_tn?1403547723
Oh geez, just what you need, more stress huh?   :0(

Why is your ex saying she has to move somewhere else?  I totally agree that, unless it was absolutely necessary, due to lack of jobs (hard to imagine in Nursing, there is always something, unless you live under a rock!)...she shouldn't uproot your daughter, ESPECIALLY with the co-parenting situation.

If you cannot reason with her, I guess you'll have to take it to the courts.  I WILL say, try not to get TOO crazy in the department of revenge, because remember, your daughter is always going to be affected by those kinds of things.  I certainly hope you can work this out, or that she sees that she's being unreasonable.  I can't imagine why she would HAVE to move out of the area?

Good luck, fingers crossed, keep us updated on the situation and TRY (I know it's not easy) not to get too too anxious about this just yet.  Us anxious people are good at working ourselves into a frenzy before we even have to.  My Dad STILL to this day tells me the same thing he did when I was a kid..."No sense worrying about something until you KNOW you have something to worry about."  It's SO true, but awfully hard to do, especially when catastrophizing is something some of us hold a gold medal in.  ;0)

Hang in there, my friend.
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1348086_tn?1370786785
I do not seek revenge. I am always looking for what is best for my daughter. My sister and I had to move out of state during my 3rd and 4th grade years but we moved back. I remember being miserable.
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1348086_tn?1370786785
Today was a bit tougher. I tried to make it without klonopin and made it but I had a lot of anxiety but I am okay tonight
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480448_tn?1403547723
Ok!  That's okay!  You're testing the waters, and you know your limits.  It's good to give it a go without the Klonopin too, just know that if the anxiety is severe, it's okay to take it.

Great job!
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Avatar_f_tn
could u find possibaly another doctor? maybe a neurologist?
i went to a neurologist on my own just to check out my brain and see if everything alright, and for him to prescribe exams, which i end up not doing, and i have to go back and ask for it again..
but he prescribed me a drug that i havent taken before, and im taking it, and it has helped me a little more i think than maybe other things ive taken
idk, maybe, you need other pills
whats good for anxiety is rivotril, im takin topamax
i dont know if its a good advice
but sometimes we cant trust the first doctor we meet
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1348086_tn?1370786785
I don't like medical doctors. I know that this is a mental thing because of my daily stress in life. I have no other issues than anxiety related. My blood pressure has been awesome, blood sugar perfect, when not anxious my heart rate is in the 70s and 80s. I have no headaches with the occasional stress-work related headache, which is expected, maybe once a week or every other week. On the weekends, I am usually 100% good.
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480448_tn?1403547723
In regard to erikka's advice.....I think you've got a great handle on the problem.  Usually, we're trying to talk people into accepting that it is an anxiety problem versus a medical problem, not the other way around.  LOL  I don't think you need to question what's going on.  Just keep doing what you're doing.  Have you missed anymore work?  The more you go, the more it will help the big picture.  I think you're plugging away just fine.

erikka...it's very important to follow up on exams and tests.  For ONE, if you had to talk the doc into ordering those exams, and you didn't follow through, he will be less likely to reorder the studies.  Do you have an anxiety issue?  Many people with anxiety spend a lot of time going from doctor to doctor...specialist to specialist, trying to find an answer.

If you want to share what's been going on with you in your own thread, we'd be glad to try to help!
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1348086_tn?1370786785
I have been going since. I have been taking a half of a klonopin each morning with the exception of the weekends. I had worried about getting addicted but I don't think it is an issue. I took a half on Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday. Thursday was rough but I made it through. I didn't take any on Saturday or Sunday. I took a half this morning. One whole pill is just 0.5 Mg, so I am halfing that.
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Avatar_m_tn
Anyone recommend anything for those days your entire body feels too tired to go into work? It's like I feel like I'm running constantly then wake up probably once a month and feel like my body tells me that I am not doing ANYTHING today!
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480448_tn?1403547723
alvaa, sounds great!  You'll be fine, you're only taking the Klonopin here and there, not regularly, and you're using the minimum you need.  Keep up the great work!

kristin547...welcome!  You should start your own thread to get more replies, and also, that what you're not "hijacking" alvaa's thread.  We'd love to help, I'll be looking for your thread!
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1348086_tn?1370786785
Being diagnosed with anxiety, this shouldn't come as a surprise but I got worried tonight. I am on blood pressure medication for high blood pressure. Even on the medicine my blood pressure is like 130-140 over 80-95. 2 days in a row it has been low, but how low is too low? Yesterday when I got home and settled in it was 110 over 70. Today I got home and laid back and took it and it was 95 over 60. I sat up and rested a minute and it was 108 over 70. I stood up and waited about 5 minutes and took it and it was 123 over 76. Is that 95 over 60 too low?
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480448_tn?1403547723
That's definitely a tad on the low side, was it right after you got up (from a cahir, or from lying down)?  Your meds may need adjusted.  What do you take for your BP?  Definitely want to let your doc know.
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1348086_tn?1370786785
Lisinopril is what I take. I sat down and then laid back in a recliner. After laying there for about 10 minutes, I took my blood pressure and it was the 95 over 60. Later last night, I took it after being relaxed at my desk for about an hour and it was 123 over 78.
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480448_tn?1403547723
It may be a fluke.  Keep your eye on it.  Don't go crazy checking your BP a million times a day (not that an anxious person would EVER do that....)

;0)

Check it once or twice a day, then dow the results to your doctor.  
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1348086_tn?1370786785
I'm just wondering if the klonopin has calmed me down so much that this is the cause.

I haven't taken one today, but I am sort of scared to take my BP med. Usually at work my pulse is in the mid to upper 90's, I just checked it and is 78.
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1348086_tn?1370786785
It looks like everything is back to normal. I took my blood pressure last night right when I got home after a stressful day at work and it was 140 over 88. I checked it this morning and it was 122 over 70.
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