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Am I going Insane or am I just sick?
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Am I going Insane or am I just sick?

I'm sorry this is kinda long but I'm trying to be thorough

I'm a 16 year old male in high school

almost a month ago I smoked some potent weed. (grand daddy purple) it was a weird paint/gas like taste in my mouth. but I'm knew to smoking weed and it was like my 5th time smoking.

I had some great laughs for a couple of minutes but then I started freaking out. I felt like screaming but I controlled it and drank some milk and went to sleep. shiverd alot and had some closed eye visuals. the people I smoked with were fine I suppose how ever.
The next day I felt better, but I felt trippy and cloudy for a couple of days. wich went away then I felt completely fine for a couple of weeks to a month.

this is where it starts....

I'm laying down chillin the whole event about me trippin out has been completely forgotten! I feel light headed out of no where and feint. I had a small anxiety/panic attack wich I took a glass of water and chilled down in the shower and breathed into a small bag knowing that helps calm people down. and my right nose was bleeding.

went to the hospital and service took way to long so I just chilled out and went home with my mom. it was like 3:am at the hospital

ever since then I felt strange, akward, out-of-touch. worrying about another panic attack

I'v been having really small panic attacks from that. but I had got in the car with my mom and had the craziest panic attack ever! tingling body, freaking out, tightnening chest, I thought I was having a crazy heart attack or something. I went to the hospital and after a while they checked everything, saying my blood is fine, my thyroid is fine, e.t.c

I had a doctors appointment the next day and he told me I have a "rhino virus" wich makes me dizzy and light headed feeling and I'm just over reacting.

I thought to my self....was it the weed I smoked? has it been effecting my brain? is it my sub concious? do I have some sort of health defeciency? will I go crazy? I'v been feeling different lately. I don't know if it's stress, me, what the heck. withdrawl (withdrawal) symptoms. was my weed laced? e.t.c thoughts like that

I was in class and felt tired and I raised my head and I felt the anxiety rush in me, and I felt like screaming and running out the class. but the thought of looking unstable in class kept me pretty calm. I went home early and took 5mg pill of a medicine a doctor prescribed to me called "diazepam" wich usually makes me tired and want to sleep if I stay still after I take it. but if im still moving around it has little effects to help.

lately I'v been seeing dark spots in my eye vision or what ever but my doctor said it's just something called "floaters" so I'm confused right now, I really dont want to end up like my brother. who is extremely unstable.

when ever I feel the Anxiety I think of my brother and he went crazy with one of my cousin (I was like a baby at this time) they'v been smoking weed from this real sketchy street.

I know I'm not dying Im just afraid about my sanity. extremely worried about my sanity. I noticed it increases when I'm in a car driving.

I'm not hearing voices. but sometimes I feel like freaking out during a anxiety attack and scream. I feel unstable at times. this isn't me. not at all. I want this out of my life permanently.
I'm not blaming the weed and I know there are many smart and socially involved people who use weed. or people weed has helped. but I'm in a state of confusin.

I know there is highly intellectual people here so I came here for advice :) please help. even if you don't know anything, any kind of advice will help :)

I have posted this in other furoms but I got little feedback but now I found a furom that talks about stuff like this! :)

right now I feel dizzy, like im going to faint, kinda feels like im going to puke and I also feel kinda tired.  just a hour or so ago I had some crazy high blood pressure thing going on  or anxiety and I got into a hot and cold shower to chill down.

It feels like im just going to freak out during a anxiety/high blood pressure kind of thing. I don't know what to do.  a week ago my blood came up fine along with my thyroid.  but I think I should get another test because it's getting more severe
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1473245_tn?1286934736
please help me
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Avatar_m_tn
I would recommend, at this point, to seeing a good therapist.  You've had an alteration in how you are thinking due to the traumatic feeling of that initial panic attack.  You have to train your mind to act the way it did before the attack.

I'm not an expert, but I suffer from severe anxiety as well, and panic attacks are something that can be controlled if you have the right toolset.  It still ***** but it's not nearly as bad as long as you train yourself to think positive rather than negative.

Do you have insurance or access to an affordable mental health expert?

Also I would recommend avoiding weed while you're undergoing therapy.

Mike
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1482256_tn?1288624154
hey anxiety-panic starts like that n u just got to b pasiant man i useto get freaked out too! couse i would get chills n scared n everythin but it calms down after a wile n u get kinda useto it i dnt get attacks anymore i get anxiety but u got to learn how to control it couse after it gwets in your head n u r not gana b abel to control it trust me soo calm down yourot gana go crazy depends on how u control anxiety soo have pasiants n relax i have a craz aunt shes bad she went crazy along time ago but she didnt start with all this soo its cool i thought i was gana go likeher too sence were family but am still here n am kinda useto this i just pray to god to take this away couse his the cure to everything remeber ok n dont take madication if u can control it couse those anxiety mend could make u worse dude sooo think bout it i dnt take nothing my doc gave me some anti depress n anxiety peels but i had a bad reaction soo i said pz too all that n i learn how to do this alone couse i have too kids the smalls is a 7mnth babyboy soo u can imagine its bad for me huh?... anyways keep your mind bussy n wen u think its gana come laydown n talk with some one near u about somethin that u like doing or something thatll take ur mind out of that...ooh n u should really not b drivin its really bad u could crash belive me i have a friend that has anxiet-panic too n she was havingf one in the car n she was drivin of road men she gotme scared at the end she said that i should of let her die n NO justy try not to go into depression couse u can have suiced thoughts just take it easy ok i know its bad i go thruw it everyday all the time but there is god pray to him.........
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1238554_tn?1339423716
My story is fairly similar to yours, except exchange the marijuana part for x. I had anxiety issues before that, but that drug kicked it into overdrive. I believe from my "bad trip" or whatever it was, I kinda got what I assume is PTSD. I thought that night when I took those pills I was going to die. It was the most frightening thing I've ever been through, feeling totally out of control with the knowledge that I was about to die and there was nothing I could do about it. I've since had sever panic attacks and generalized anxiety problems. It's been about 9 months since it started, and I'm still learning how to deal with it.

As far as worrying about your sanity, that has also been my biggest worry. Some people worry about their health obsessively, but I worry obsessively about going "crazy". I've been told numerous times though that just the fact that we're worried about losing control means that we aren't going crazy. People who lose touch with reality don't realize it, so they don't worry about it.

It all goes back to the fear of losing control. Maybe the night you took the drugs you felt completely out of control. It scared you enough that your reliving those feelings, maybe subconsciously. The first panic attack I had after my experience I actually felt great and had forgotten completely about the whole night. Or so I thought. Subconsciously I don't think I ever let it go.

You need to see a doctor, and look into getting some therapy. Meds help some people, they've certainly helped me, but even more so talking to someone and understanding exactly what is going on is what has helped me the most. I'm sorry you're going through this, I know how horrible it is. Feel free to message me if you need to, but make sure you're taking care of yourself and get to a doctor!
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1138687_tn?1360980244
First, you sound like a smart kid! Let me guess you are sensitive?

Do you have any nervousness about school, I did when I was your age, and it is common.

I also use to smoke weed and it always made me insecure and nervous, but I did it any way cos that was the thing to do. It was cool and everything.

But I also played sports recreationally, like "puck on the ice" hockey and basketball. Looking back these were much more cool.

It is common, actually very common and I hear about it all the time on here and from people I know, for marijuana (weed) to cause an anxiety disorder! Actually, I had an anxiety disorder for three months from one hit of weed. Weed has become very potent, and dangerous in my opinion, but you'll be alright!! I got completely better from my anxiety episode and I was experiencing both the fear of becoming insane and fear of dying from a disease. We feel this way because anxiety symptoms are very threatening.

You clearly have anxiety. I remember getting so filled with fear and detached that I would try to find ways to cure it, like take a shower. Then I might come out of the shower more hopeless, or just as hopeless.

So I can tell you you are going to be fine and not to worry, but you should get support and reassurance from people in your life and or doctors, or some kind of therapist. Consider alternative therapists as well, as they seem to be the wiser ones :) Not always though!

But for now, really, take some deep breaths and relax. And tell your family and people you know and can trust how you feel!

I believe that this undesirable anxiety that your going through right now will make you a more beautiful person, and you'll grow from it!!

And you can write to me if you want, ask me questions and address your concerns, and I will tell you what I think, cos I have been through a lot of similar things and I am a very optimistic person.

Stay peaceful loving and positive. And don't smoke anymore!

Ash

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