Just to update, i suffer from severe GAD, panic disorder, agoraphobia and social anxiety disorder, plus for the last 4 or 5 months now i have been taking 80mg Propranalol/Inderal for my GAD, which has lessened it to a degree now that i can function 95% better than when i wasn't on it, in the sense of not waking in a panicky state and climbing the walls for hours on end, this has now stopped for the most part. My phobias still remain very active.
However since roughly christmas i have been experiencing nocturnal hallucinations, they arn't regular like every night, i would say this has happened a handful of times now, but i am starting to become concerned about them as i have never experienced anything like this before.
What actually happens is i am asleep and while naturally moving about in the bed during the night i will wake briefly, like i do most nights, to turn over etc... but as i open my eyes i will see things that i know are not real, some scary some weird. The first one i had was i woke up and gazed upon a picture of a friend hugging my twin daughters which is placed on my dresser, now in the pic they are sitting on the sofa but as i looked at it they all got up and walked around the pic, just randomly moving to and fro, then just sat back down, my friend put her arms around my girls again and then they froze back into the picture. I mean how mad is that!
The second was a couple of weeks later and was very similar with another pic, but last night several times i woke briefly and each time i opened my eyes i kept seeing scary sh*t, like this long black shadowy arm was reaching over me with long claw type fingers, i actually jumped and gave out a little yell as i opened my eyes when i saw that but thought don't be so blinking stupid and went back to sleep. Then opened my eyes again and there was this creepy type face staring back at me, which looked a bit like a birds face but totally messed up and some other scary stuff.
Woke this morning feeling concerned as i have never experienced anything like this before. I don't see my psychiatrist until the 10th March and to be honest i am a little concerned about telling her this as i dont want to suddenly end up on medication for psychosis. I have read that a side effect of Propranalol is Hallucinations, so i am wondering if this is the reason. Please guys, what do you all think, i need some imput, thank-you
p.s i have been feeling very depressed lately, due to not being able to do all the things i use to do esspecially with the kids, could i be slowly tripping over into something like manic-depression/bipolar or is it simply some night terror type thing going on?
If anything, I hope its just your mind playing tricks on you. I remember as a little girl I woke up and my mom was there in the doorway (but she wasnt) and then she disappeared like a ghost. I think it was just my anxiety getting to me because in reality I was scared of losing her due to med stuff going on. I would talk to your doctor about it and get their opinion.
While I can understand you're being concerned,don't freak out yet. Psychosis usually includes the fact that the people experiencing them cannot seperate reality from unreality...you are very aware that what you're "seeing" isn't real....you know that the people aren't actually walking around in the picture. KNow what I mean?
Your dose of Inderal is quite high...it could be the culprit. I would ask to see if your p-doc can maybe squeeze you in a bit sooner? It definitely warrants a trip to see him/her....but try not to panic....
In the meantime...few questions. Has any of this happened with the lights ON? It could be that your eyes are adjusting to light/darkness and causing these visual oddities, not to mention that as a person with your anxiety history...these visions would be certainly worsened in your mind. Perhaps try sleeping with the room much brighter and see if that makes a difference. ANY of this EVER happen in the daylight hours...or in any other circumstance besides upon awakening? Our psyches are very strange when it comes to sleep/awake modes....and it sounds very much like this is happening only when you are transitioning from sleep to awake....could even be an abrupt interruption in your REM sleep, which I do believe is when most of our dreams occur. Almost like you are interrupting your dreams and they kind of become a bit real, you know? If they haven't happened any other time...I would say that your sleep patterns are playing a huge factor in this.
How about your normal sleep patterns? Do you have insomnia? If so,what type? Difficulty falling or staying asleep? How long does your sleep last per night? How many times do you wake up? Any history of sleepwalking? Sleep Apnea? Do you have frequent nightmares? Very vivid dreams?
Try to start keeping of jornal of what is happening...when you're seeing what...and describe as best you canwhat you are seeing...and anything you feel may be related. That will be helpful for the doc to sort through a bit.
I think this will be very easy to get to the bottom of...and while I'm sure it is frightening as he**, don't start jumping to conclusions that this is somehow more significant than it is. Again, remember, that psychosis most times involves the sufferer NOT being able to distinguish between real and unreal. That's not you.
hey thank-you, its just what i needed to hear to be honest, i dont really chat to anyone i know about things like this, so if i have any questions i turn to this web-site for a little support and i'm glad that you responed.
Well i dont suffer from insomnia, i normally fall asleep roughly 10 or 11pm and wake roughly 7 or 8am, on weekends i lay in until 9am or longer. I dont suffer from any breathing condition, no sleep apnea. I fall asleep normally very easily and stay asleep. I did have problems with waking very early before i went on the inderal, but no longer... I did go through a patch of having nightmares, very vivid dreams which were disturbing but i haven't had one of them for a while now.
As for the room, i am actually scared of the dark, have been since i was a child so i have always slept with the passage light on and my bedroom door open, so there is a fair amount of light that fills the room. It is strong enough to see each object within the room in a clear view. This may be the reason i have so much detail of the things i see.
I do wake up very briefly several times a night, on a bad night, but normally it is for a few seconds at a time as i will turn over and just drift off back to sleep.
As a kid i use to wake in the night or just before falling asleep i would have the strangest feeling come over me like i suddenly became extremely small and the room would enlarge to massive proportions. I would also hear and feel a noise rush through me, which made the feeling of smallness even worse. Colours would be far brighter and distorted and the room would swirl, like a consatina effect. My limbs would also feel like plastic and feel unreal. In adulthood this has also happened but it always would happen just before i became ill, like with the flu, so when i got this night time disturbance i would get ready for the illness, which always came in full force. It never happens while im awake, although when i do get very tired i become extremely dizzy and start to see flashes of movement out the corner of my eyes, so i take from this to go have a nap or time for bed.
I know you are right regarding the psychosis, i know it anit real, i guess i just needed another person to reasure me im not totally nuts, even though alot of people wouldnt agree with that...lol
My daughters though say it is a dark spirit in the house, a new spirit, they have seen ghosts since they were babies. It is a very long story and i wont bore you with it but it anit just my daughters who have seen spirits in the house, several people have and even one person moved out because of the activity here. My 13yr old daughter told me today that the thing i saw last night she has seen.... I did get angry with her telling her to be quite as i would far prefer to think im going nuts than to think it was a dark spirit in my room, hovering over me.....yikes!
Funny...I was actually going to mention something paranormal, but didn't want to freak you out more. Wow...that's wild! I have mixed feelings about the paranormal stuff...but I have heard (and recently seen) things from very reliable people whoom I trust.
You just never know! That could explain a lot of what you describe...although cripes...I think I'd rather be hallucinating! LOL
While I can't offer much to the paranormal theory...at least I can reassure you that you're not ready for the special coat that buttons in the back! :0)
Ever try taking pictures/videos/audio recordings in your house where the "episodes" happen?
You know something, because of my agoraphobia i spend roughly 99% of my time in the house and i think to be able to spend this amount of time here without going totally insane i need to do everything i can to switch the idea off that it could be paranormal. My twin girls and other people try to tell me about what goes on but i shut off and dont listen as it scares the crud out of me. I once tried to call upon my local priest to come and bless the house but on the day that he was mean't to come i started to have a severe panic attack, with a fever and felt totally out of control so i had to phone him and cancel. As soon as i cancelled i calmed down and the fever went and i felt fine, my step-mum told me maybe it was the spirit who did this to me to stop the priest coming here to get rid of it...... Yes this freaked me out!! I put it down to me having a bad day, but this could of been the reason.
So in regards to videoing the hotspots, i think i'd rather not, i think if i saw what ever it is in clear view i'd move out in a flash... although if u wana see a ghost go on my profile and have a look at a pic of me hugging my daughter, you will see a dark shadow of a person over my right hand shoulder, it is as clear as day. I have this pic in a frame in my front room and is a great interest to anyone who spots it.... it was taken at my daughter's school, let me know what u think.
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