Anxiety, Panic Attacks, headaches for many years

[ibex333]

Before I say anything I'd like to say that I made this post in hopes that someone has similar problems and knows something about this. I don't expect actual diagnosis or cure. Just comments/help.

While reading this you may feel that this belongs under a different topic, but keep reading and you'll see that this belongs here.

When I was 14, I was an avid video gamer(which I am unfortunately still now). I played pretty much 24/7 except when I was in school. At some point, I started experiencing strange symptoms some of which were vertigo, dizziness, confusion, shaking hands. I ignored it and kept playing.. Hey.. I was a kid!

One day something terrible happened to me... I'm not sure what it was - a seizure? a fit? I'll try to describe it as best as I can:

I was sitting, playing a game. All of a sudden I felt EXTREMELY tense, plus pressure in my head which felt as if someone was forcing something into my head. I felt as if electricity was surging through my body and my head and severe pain on top of my head. I felt like I'm loosing balance and I'm going to fall down. My vision started going dark... I rushed to the bed and lay down. This whole thing lasted only about 5-10 seconds, but it left me terrified. After this most of the symptoms went away, but the pain on the top of my head stayed. It stayed day and night for several years. I had a CAT scan done, then several MRI's - nothing was found.

For some strange unexplained reason, my body remembered what happened on that 1st terrible day described above and every time I would come up to a computer or I'd see someone using one. It would trigger the "seizure" described above. My teachers would force me to use computers in school(requirement class), and that was unbearable for me. Sometimes I would have to run out in the middle of computer class! Eventually I just dropped that class.

The headache would not go away.. Always in the same spot on top of my head, always present.... I started having severe panic attacks, because I couldn't take the pain anymore and I was so afraid. I would call 911 in the middle of the night but the doctor in the emergency room would give me painkillers and send me home.


After several years of this craziness, my headaches went from everyday to several months a year... Once they would start they would last for months then suddenly go away just to reoccur months later. They were no longer just on top of my head, it could be pain all over my head, or in the back or in the temples.. Sometimes it wouldn't be pain at all but terrible pressure inside head or a burning sensation or another strange sensation inside the head. Sometimes I'd have a feeling of pressure inside my ears. Sometimes so severe I felt as if my ears would explode along with my head.
Meanwhile, I slowly lost my fear of computers and started playing video games again because they take my mind off of "real life".

I seen several doctors, had more MRI's done.... No result. Some said I am exaggerating my symptoms. Some said it's just migraine.. But I never had throbbing pain, and it was usually NOT one side as with migraine sufferers. Also with migraine an onset usually lasts no more than 3-4 days or so. In my case it was months.

I am 25 now, and my last 2 years have been somewhat better. My headaches have been less frequent, but my panic attacks and especially agarophobia are not going anywhere. I am pretty much homebound at the time being since I cant tolerate places such as college/work.


Recently I have been having some new symptoms that worry me greatly. One of them is pins and needles/numbness in various places, the second is me feeling generally sick most of the time(nausea, dizziness). Is that another symptom related to my problems or is it something new?


The biggest problem is that most doctors I go don't help me. If I go to a neurologist he says it's migraine, gives me some meds with side effects which scare me to death and sends me home.

When I go to a psychiatrist he prescribes an antidepressant before I even have a chance to finish telling him what's wrong with me. I find that simply disrespectful. Hey doc, I'm not even done telling you what's wrong with me! I've taken some antidepressants but these meds usually just made me feel worse and if there was some relief it was temporary. The side effects were so bad that I developed a strong fear of these meds to the point where I rather die than take another one ever again. I'm no guinea pig.


I am wondering what is it that happened to me on that day I was 14 that changed my life so drastically?
Have you ever heard of similar cases? Are there any other way to help me aside from pumping me full of SSRI's? Am I too far gone?

One doctor said that it doesn't matter what happened when I was 14.. He said that what matters is what's happening now. I strongly disagree. How is it "smart" to be treating the symptoms, without even knowing the "cause"?
It is like giving someone with meningitis an Advil from their headache, ignoring the virus inside them! (sorry for an example which is a little extreme)

Do you know any doctors in New York City area who specialize in problems similar to mine?

Thank you in advance.(sorry for such a damn long post)

[MOTAH]

First of all, if you have done all your medical checks already, which I assume you did, then yes these could be a sign of anxiety.

the important thing is that you mentioned that you only had neurlogical issues only before that's why you've done the MRI but have you checked the nausea & feeling sick issues? I don't mean to make it more complicated but the problem with anxiety is that it could only be diagnosed after you've done a whole check on every single symptom you feel before you can relate it to anxiety. Reason is obvious which is you don't want to NOT treat some medical illness & mistake it for an anxiety symptom.

The right approach is first go to your dr & check your stomach issues & if ok then to be referred to a psych. who will probably have you talking to them for bit with or without medications based on your case.

the idea that your problem was when you were 14 doesn't mean it's not affecting you now & if you already overtook that issue by using the PC again DOESN'T necesserly mean that you're over the problem.

I get scared of flying & I do fly around 7 times/year & I still get anxiety attacks EVERY SINGLE time I get on a plane. Of my degree of anxiety in that example will not be as much as someone who couldn't fly at all from same fear but will still be there & I do need treatment & seeking treatment as we speak.

I'm not a dr & from experience, I would suggest you do all your abdominal checks to see if that nausea & sickness is from any clinical issue or not first then if all ok then you have to be referred to psychologist/psychatrist who can see what are your psycho. fears & issues & solve them with you.

I hope that helped & relax & generally you'll feel better if you're relaxed.

cheers,

[suzi-q]

When I first began with anxiety I had a "headache"  (extreme pressure) that lasted 6 months straight...my neurologist described them as tension headaches and of course, I was suffering from depression/anxiety.  He began treating me with depakote and my psychiatrist treated me with Paxil and Klonopin at that time...It took time, lots of visits and talk therapy, but those headaches went away...(have stopped the depakote over 8 years now).

I also had and still have that nausea feeling on occasion.  All your symptoms sound very familiar to me, and there is life after it...You need a GOOD therapist.  Someone who will LISTEN and not just want to medicate you.  Maybe you should try a PSYCHOLOGIST...they cannot prescribe medication and will focus more on talk and behavior therapy.  

BEST TO YOU!  You are not alone in your battle...we are all here for you. let us know how you are doing.

[mikej1736]

The seizure that you describe above sounds like a panic attack.  It almost the exact feelings I had when I first had them.  After I had the first one, I was afraid of it, and had many more.  A few months later, I was used to them and knew that it wasnt anything wrong with my body, it was merely a panic attack.  I also had the feelings you described in the same spot of the head.  I noticed this problem went away for the most part when I made sure I was always breathing right.