Anxiety Attacks and Fear of Losing My Mind

[rortiz]

Hi Everyone,

For the last two days I have been having small anxiety attacks that include a feeling that I am losing my mind. I was in class yesterday and started having a small attack. I then had a sudden feeling of violence. I am not a violent person at all. I do not like confrontation at all. This morning I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep. I then got a small headache and a small anxiety attack started up again. I then began having violent thoughts again. They weren't really directed at anyone, just a feeling of violence or irritability. I then began to fear that I am losing my mind and would hurt someone. This made me feel worse. I got really scared. I have calmed down a bit since then. I just need some help to understand if anyone feels this way. I don't want to hurt anyone and I am scared that I will end up alone in an institution. My insurance company has approved my visits to a psychologist and I am going to get an appt. ASAP. I also have a follow up with my doctor next week. I just need some help to get through this in the meantime. Thanks for your help.

[swtsenzasian86]

Lately I've been feeling the same exact way...and I thought I'm going crazy! Like I feel like these thoughts just won't go away and I feel like some kind of bad person...I've had constant panic attacks in my past...the first one I ever had was back in Dec '08 because I was taking diet pills and my heart started racing & I couldn't breathe...I had no clue what was going on with me. I really thought I was having a heart attack! And it was the diet pills that was making my heart race & on top of that...a panic attack! Honestly I never knew that existed and when they told me that's what was happening...I was relieved but at the same time I thought they made a wrong diagnosis. Anyhow ever since then I've been having frequent panic attacks...I would have them at least once every 3 or 4 months...it's getting ridiculous and it's often hard to relax and calm down. Sometimes I feel like I can't handle it. Well besides all of that I've been having crazy thoughts lately and I feel like I may lose control...and that's what I'm so afraid of...like I feel alone or something. Thoughts like you'd say about hurting others...it's so ridiculous & I feel like I'm going crazy as the days go by cause I've been having trouble sleeping and I haven't had good sleep for at least a week and a half now...because my mind won't stop racing with stupid thoughts...I'm so scared I might do something stupid. I mean I don't even know why these thoughts pop up in my head. I'd never hurt anyone...I'm always nice, compassionate, and caring! So I'm currently seeing a counselor and I told her my symptoms...but she says it's depression...and I don't even know what all of it is....I'm constantly anxious and I just wish it would all go away and I just wanna feel like my old self again...normal! But I'll be seeing my psychiatrist tomorrow and I'm really hoping everything will turn out fine...I just keep having hope. I just wanna be able to live a normal life and stop being anxious and having those thoughts...I always pray to God to help me with this but as I feel as though it's taking awhile...but I need to learn to understand that it takes time...and I have to have to patience...

[Julie359]

P.s you will not get addicted to the Valium or xanax this soon, you need to take it for a couple of months to become addicted so it is safe.... taking it as needed is will also stop this from happening.

[Julie359]

Can i ask how long have you been on the Paxil?   You just stated that it only happens in the morning and lasts for 60 mins or so.... if you have just started Paxil it may be your body getting use to the med.  It's called activation syndrome.  It can cause Jittery, anxious, panicky feelings for a few weeks until your body gets use to the drug being in your system.  it can also change your though process exactly how you have described.

First off you are not crazy, trust me if you were you would be the last person to know.... 2nd, if these feelings are too much for you to cope with then maybe you should try taking a small amount of valium or xanax, ask for it from your doc to help in the inital stages of the settling in period.

Every one reacts diffeerent to these drugs but normally the feelings should subside after a couple to a few weeks of starting them..... Good luck, you WILL start to feel better soon and if it gets any worse go see your doc and ask for a anti-anxiety drug to get you through these next couple of weeks.

Take care J

[mama23babies]

Thanks for that post. I too am not a violent person. I am a 26 mother of a 5,3 and 1 year old. I am usually very caring,patient, and compassionate,but I too suffer from these horrible thoughts.Now I know I am not the only one and continue to hope that I am not going crazy. Thanks for the reassuring post even though it wasn't to me. It helped.

[ConfusedMe315]

your not alone. im not in any way AT ALL violent and could never harm anyone or anything but i had those thoughts to! its your mind with the "what if" questions. crazy isnt it? I hate it!! its normal with anxiety and your not alone at all.

[rortiz]

Thanks for the help everyone. It's easier knowing that other people feel this way too. I am on medication currently (paxil and buspar). New symptoms come and go. It's extremely scary. It only happens in the morning and last about 20-60 minutes. I guess it may have to do with the timing of my medications as I have started taking them at separate times throughout the day instead of altogether in the morning. I'll keep you guys posted on my doctor and psych visits.

[mama23babies]

P.S. you're not going crazy. It's just a crazy thing to go through.

[mama23babies]

I am going through the same thing right now as well. All the Dr at the ER's keep telling me I am not going crazy. I have been like this for 2 months and haven't went crazy yet, but the thoughts and feelings of aggression and violence are scary. As nikki said I also just starting taking zoloft for 2 days and feel a little worse. I hope it gets better for all of us. Good luck to you and everyone on here.

[jdogclf]

I had these exact same symptoms also with obsessive thoughts, You are not alone.  You are not going crazy, it is anxiety related and you can get help and will not end up in an institution.  

[nikki1408]

these have been some of my biggest fears for the longest time. so dont feel alone in this mess, there are many of us out there. i just started taking zoloft 25 mg and it just makes it worse. but everyone keeps telling me that its normal to get a little worse before i get better. i hope they are right. maybe you just need an anti anxiety med. let us know how the dr visits go.

[rortiz]

Please let me know if you have any ideas or tips. Thanks.