Anxiety/Depression

[saltie_potat]

I'm 14 and I've been diagnosed with severe anxiety and depression for about a year. I've self harmed twice successfully and the past year has been a nightmare. I recently had a relationship with a guy and had a very messy breakup last month. I know I probably sound extremely immature and stupid, but just hear me out. I was doing really bad at the time. I had frequent panic attacks, therapy wasn't working, I was getting bad grades, and my parents were putting more pressure on me than ever. Put teenage problems on top of that and you get the idea. He was the only person who could listen to me and he wasn't even from my state. We talked on Skype every moment we could and we both couldn't get enough of eachother. My parents found out and deleted the account. We got back in contact via Steam and Google Hangouts and continued to talk. One day he vanished without a trace after making a comment about self-harm/suicide. I desperately messaged him to see if he was okay. He didn't contact me until two weeks later. He pretended to be his mother and told me that he'd committed suicide the week before. I was devastated. The next day, I checked Skype. My parents hadn't deleted my account, but just uninstalled the program. He was active and talking to my other internet friends. I confronted him and he disconnected. I got back on Google Hangouts and messaged him again. We faught for about half an hour before he got off his computer. I sent him a link for online therapy since his parents wouldn't sent him to a real therapist and that was that. I can't stop thinking about him and I can't talk about it to my family of friends. I don't know what to do about it. Any advice?