Ok here's my story, I'm currently in Kenya for the past 9 months and around 2 1/2 months ago I had oral sex with a prostitute, because this idiot who I met was also from the UK so he said obviously use protection he reassured me by saying he came here and went there (***** house) every year for a holiday since I was 15. I just don't know what hit me I was high that day I thought why not I went there all I wanted was oral sex with a condom I made sure it was secure my only worry was that I had shaved either that day or couple before and I had a little cut on my finger the problem is that I'm not certain if her fluids came into contact with my broken skin, ever since then I was panicking I told my uncle he was the only one who is native to this country he took me to a clinic three days after the I was really stressed out but the test came out negative I was overjoyed I couldn't believe it I was like I'm never doing that again then like 9 weeks after I caught the flu I was really anxious I was thinking to myself I'm certain that's a symptom of the deadly HIV virus I kept on thinking to myself mentally imagining what would happen suicide the list goes on but what made it worse was that after I caught that flu I thought it was because I quit smoking I realised the last time I quit I experience some sort of anxiety related problems and then after 18th day of quitting smoking my mother fainted I thought it was a ,major problem with her I couldn't take it I went back to smoking before then like a week after I noticed that my eyes dilated I couldn't see properly it was like I was in a constant state of dizziness light really affected me my mouth is so dry so I started researching the symptoms of nicotine withdrawal bang it made sense so once I went back to smoking those same symptoms stayed with me so i went more crazier i started noticing my skin to check signs of lymph nodes it never leaves my mind thankfully never major as happen so far God Forbid anything does im almost approaching the 3rd month since that incident im really anxious but this past week ive been going out i noticed my skin itching has gone away but my eyes are still dilated and my mouth is still dilated i really want to go to doctors and get myself checked out but its 50/50 chance imagine living with this disease the stigma I cant get married have children I'm only 20 at my prime I'm strong believer in faith and committing suicide is not the way as far as I'm concerned my faith teaches you'll get punished in hell forever and in the current state I'm in I'm really paranoid another thing is that I caught the flu again and I believe its flu season now but I believed I have generalised anxiety disorder so I researched it and it can weaken your immune system but I'm still not certain I know what I done was low risk of getting the disease but I was really immature, cant I die of something else not like this not right now not so young I really need to see a councillor/ pyscologist the biggest problem is that I am not in the UK right now and I need to go there you trust a medic down here but my parents want me to stay I want to go back but they want a good enough reason if you don't have money down here your a nobody I have to keep everything low key and this stress is really unbearable maybe I could be a hypochondriac but this dry mouth and dilated eyes are really scaring me I just keep on thinking which symptoms could come like I just really want my life back you don't know what you have until you loose it sorry for this long comments please give me help or advise Peace People sorry for my grammar my concentration levels are too low.
You cannot contract HIV from oral sex and having also used a condom, you don't have to worry about other STDs, unless you perfomed oral on her. IF you did, you may want to be checked for an STD, but you do NOT need to test for HIV.
You sound stressed out to the extreme, highly anxious and in my humble and non-medical opinion, I think you're also dealing with hypochondria.
You have got yourself so worked up, your anxiety is exacerbating all of your symptoms.
I would suggest you see your doctor for a complete physical to rule out a medical cause for these issues. Be sure to hold nothing back when talking with him, especially your encounter with the SW. Do not be embarrassed. Doctors the world over have heard AND seen everything! Besides, he needs to understand your emotional and psychological health for a correct diagnosis.
Please discuss getting a referal to a good therapist. I really believe that in your current state of mind, this would help you a great deal to slow your mind down and stop the wheels from spinning out of control. You will learn many good ways to help you cope with your anxiety, both physically and psychologically.
You remind me very much of myself when I was younger and my anxiety wasn't under control. My mind was constantly racing out of control, my thoughts in a state of chaos. It was a very unpleasant way to live. A therapist I saw told me my mind was like an incredibly messy desk and it was a wonder I could find anything under all the piles and heaps of junk. Maybe that doesn't make sense to you, but as he and I worked together and I began to organize the important stuff that I wanted to keep and toss out the huge piles of junk that did nothing but clutter up my thinking...........it felt really good to be able to deal with just one thing at a time instead of looking at the whole mess and doing nothing because I was overwhelmed.
As you said, we don't know what we've got til it's gone. I lost my peace of mind to disorganization and chaos. Maybe the same is true for you, maybe not, but I can tell you that the only way any of us is going to find that which we've lost is to get off our butts and go look for it.
I believe with a little help, you'll find your peace soon.
First of all, I would like to thank upon your advise you have given me and sorry for replying so late, my internet ran out I'm currently still in Africa. During this past month or so, I finally gained enough courage through the help of a close friend to get the test over and done with. I was really anxious but I went to see the same councillor I had done the test with before. I took the HIV test Gen 2 as well as 3 and both had shown that I was negative.
However, for some strange reason I was sceptical because they say that it can appear at some later stage possibly after a year.
Furthermore, to be honest I am not fearing that disease at the moment and I haven't had a thorough medical exam on my myself to see what I have mentally or psychically.
On the other hand, I believe if I didn't contract HIV/AIDS and hopefully I haven't (God Willing) then I believe I have contracted some other STD because of late I don't know if it is due to this anxiety I think it could be genital herpes sometimes I notice I get a mysterious wart down below very red in colour and I get a lot of anal sweating my testicles are very irritable and my prostrate tends to hurt at times.
Additionally, I don't want to research these symptoms on the net again because I don't want those levels of hypochondria to ever return again but this is really worrying me again I'm stuck in the dillema of course HIV/AIDS would have been a worse situation but genital herpes could just be has terrible a stigma I just want my life back to normal.
Continuing, on this website, http://www.easternanxietyandstress.com/anxiety.htm it shows the various symptoms of anxiety this guy really tells you about the underlying problems that can experienced regarding the genital and other areas. I really hope it is nothing more than GAD ( Generalised Anxiety Disorder) but there could be a high possibility of herpes please help me out.
Moreover, I've improved mentally there seems to be a positive out-look on life and me and my friend have started gym recently in a way of combating my GAD. I really don't know how long it will take before my vision, excessive acne, dry mouth, genital problems etc. will get back to normal hopefully soon.
In conclusion, I've given up smoking as a long term benefit in dealing with anxiety attacks in the future and is a generally good thing for the body. Please give me back some feedback in what should I do I really want to return to the UK before New Years. Thanks for the help by the way. This is a real learning curve I just wished I never done this.
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