Then in about 2 months I will be undergoing surgery for my pectus excertum, which will remove my indent in my chest. That caused me to worry about what effect an STD will have on my surgery. I had an STD test for Chlamydia and gonnoherra and they came back negative, but I mostly worried about herpes or HIV and the town I live in currently does not do tests for herpes until you have an outbreak and I have to wait three months for a HIV test. I can't stop THINKING ABOUT THIS!!! It freaks me out. Suicide has been on my mind form awhile now, because if I have herpes, then I know I will be turned down by the girl I like and I will be alone for ever.
Wooooohhhhh, take a deep breath and slow down. You are fearing things that most likely are not true. First of all, does your friend have herpes? Also, the likelihood of contacting herpes when a partner is not having an outbreak is very rare...Also, there is life after herpes. I have a friend who has it and married even though she had it. No one wants to have herpes, however, it will not stop someone from loving you.
As far as HIV, the way it is transfered is either blood to blood or bodily fluids to blood. Unless you had an open sore in your mouth or on your penis, most likely you did not contact anything.
I feel many of your symptoms are from guilt you are feeling about losing your virginity. Do not punish yourself for your actions....However, I hope that you see that sex should be kept for monogomous relationships.
I know how you feel scared about HIV- I'm getting tested right now for that. But before I went and did the test which I'm waiting for the results- I was crying and freaking out. I would cry when talking with my fiance because I just feel so guilty and that I was an awful person. If you have something- it doesn't mean you're going to be alone forever. Personally I've found that talking with others over on the HIV board forum helps relieve some stress. And you can ask others what they think a risk you may have for STD's and HIV. You're not alone, there are many of us who are scared and constantly worrying.
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