For a number of reasons, I find that when I am feeling lonely, my anxiety increases. I've been dealing with a lot of stresses and am trying to keep myself occupied so I won't feel too lonely. But sometimes the loneliness is like a bottomless pit and it makes me fearful and anxious.
If you're going to call me an attention seeker, drama queen or other names, please do not respond. I came here for help, not to be bashed.
Nobody will bash you. Anxiety can lead to loneliness. I mean we spend most of the time alone. We have isolated ourselves off from people. At times we look around and see all that we are missing out on. Might even sit by a window and see others going out for the night. Be it a couple. Arm in arm. There you may sit alone wondering why you are as you are. You'd love half the chance to be doing what these other people are doing. I, for one, know I have missed out on so much. That was when I stayed in for over a decade. Guess I became set in my ways. Am single. Expect to remain so too. I do go out and about these days. Have got some part of my life back. But there is other parts of it I know I will never get back. I just get on with it. By now I don't even think about it. Well, until I wrote this post. What I don't have I don't miss. Just happy to be able to live as I am living right now. But I hear you loud and clear.
Yeah, it's tough. Second MrGreen. Hard to make friends because I got this stupid thing after moving three thousand miles from home and have been too afraid to go back. For the most part I just go on, but after a bad Paxil withdrawal have been obsessed with the past, so I think about it a lot now. I do think that it's the other way around, though, it's the anxiety that makes you feel the loneliness, not the loneliness making you more anxious. Only way out of it is to force yourself out and about where there are people,but even then, hard to form tight bonds. We're with you. Peace.
Mr. Green - you sound like you feel some of the way I do. I'm trying to get some of my existence back but sometimes losses and grief just shatter me. I keep going and going but would do almost anything I could to find a time machine and go back to the years when I made mistakes with my kids, family and even friends. Even with a "significant other" (and from Ireland too lol), I still feel incredible loneliness.
Paxiled - it's so difficult to need anti-depressants and then have them "turn on us". You think the anxiety makes us feel lonely and not the other way around. That's an interesting theory. You're right about forcing myself to get out but to trust and make friends - my best friends are my cats and dogs.
How ironic we can talk to people on the other side of the world but still be lonely.
What I find we tend to do is build a life around our condition. Things we can do and things we can't do. So over time the condition shapes us. I always wondered would I be into half the stuff I am had I not developed an anxiety condition? Guess I will never know the answer to that question. But a life is a life. That is how I see it. I do live one. Better than not living one at all.
I know what you mean. But the strange thing is, for me anyway, is the being alone, just seems to perpetuate itself. Like, it is a cycle that just can't be broken. Don't know if that makes any sense, but that is how it seems to me.
I have just gone and read everyone elses post, and basically thats what they were saying, so I guess it does make sense. I just say it more cut and dried.
Mine stems from this hypothyroidism though. I know not all anxiety and mental issues stem from the thyroid, but I would wager a big percentage does, that goes undetected because the lovely, caring drs don't even test for it. "just pop this pill and you will be fine".
Mr. Green, I think we build walls around ourselves to keep people away. I don't like doing that but I admit that I do.
Peggy64 - I do know what you mean. Although people can be lonely in a crowd, just being alone makes us more lonely. The "meds" - it's just to easy to rely on them. If you have these feelings because of thyroid problems, could a dr help? Just a question.
Hello old friend............it's been a very long time.
I know that at the height of my anxiety, I isolated myself from everyone and I believe strongly like you...........I believe that my intense feelings of lonliness caused my anxiety levels to rise. Like MrGreen said, I would watch other people living lives that looked so happy and perfect and that just made me feel worse, more anxious, more lonely. I tried to force myself out amongst people, but it didn't work. I wore my lonliness and anxiety like a shroud and I think my aura was of such sadness and hopelessness that people shied away from me......and the cycle just got worse.
I really do understand the feeling of lonliness being a bottomless pit..........and that pit is a very dark and scary place where the anxiety thrives. I did manage to claw my way out of that pit, but I am always teetering on the edge. I have no answer for you............just love and understanding and the knowledge of how strong you are. You WILL find your way out Wolfie..............
Hi Natalie, I am on medication for the thyroid disorder, but all the other glands are "out of whacK" as well. So because of that, it will take quite some time to get everything straightened out. I just keep saying this bible verse....God has not given us a spirit of fear but of POWER, and LOVE, and of (my favorite) a SOUND MIND!!!! it is found in 2 Timothy. Deep breathing and focusing on that verse really helps, it is still awful, but at least I can tolerate it.
I'm hypothyroid now, have been hyper, treated, gone hypo, treated, got hyper and stayed that way according to doctors for many, many years. I think there's an acceptable range for doctor guidelines but a personal number that you may find suits you best.
My new doctor runs me low and I don't have chronic disorders anymore, like heart and stomach problems. I still have anxiety and depression like my mom but since I grew up managing hers I'm probably more accustomed to it than most. I just needed to know I wasn't choosing this feeling or experience, the way I didn't choose to have thyroid problems. A little xanax helps, after trying all the meds for going on 40 years.
Now, in hypo I've gained weight after being pathetically thin all my life, half my hair is gone, my eyebrows are half gone too, but I'm not in the ER every 3 weeks or having expensive tests done to see what's wrong with my heart, stomach, why I was crippled with back pain, etc, so I'm actually ahead of the game now. Life is relative.
MrGreen, well said! You should write a book, seriously...because I know I built my life around my symptoms of anxiety, no doubt enhanced back then by an overactive thyroid and side effects, but I did inherit that depression and anxiety from my mom, so I recognized it. It doesn't make it easier to live with but it made me feel comfortable building a weird little life I fit in. MrGreen, please post more often, just a few words will be gold!
greenlydia, forgive me for not thanking you and Sue for holding this forum when I joined. You are a lifesaver!
During my mysterious illness years I would seek help until I was simply exhausted, take a breather, then have another go at it. Sometimes I'd take a couple of years off and cope, other times I'd get up a full head of steam and see doctors etc for months. I have always isolated myself.
For 17 yearsI was an artist, working by another name so no one would seek me out and I could isolate completely, only dealing with my agent by phone and shipping the work out. I burned out and tried a new way to isolate a little less...boarding dogs!
Due to the nature of spending 15 minutes with the client then a week or two with their dog allowed me to isolate from people but still stay connected, through the dogs. I have friends I can only see on ocassion, like every couple of years, but again, my genuine love for them for their understanding of my reclusive ways seems to balance out. I'm still anxious socially, unsure of myself, shy, awkward, have to force myself to go out to get the dogs something. It can be done, just requires a little side-stepping my own self at times. I've never been able to make it go away but I have gotten good at getting around my anxiety.
Recently I closed the dog business and work at a nursing home in the psych unit. I feel so at home there, so comfortable with the residents. Unfortunately I still have deep self doubts about my ability to cope with the others (non-residents) comfortably for an extended period of time so I'm taking up a new art form for possible future use in case I need the protection of isolation again.
I hope I will move past all of this because I am a veryyy open and friendly person just over the past few months a lot has been going on and I have isolated myself a lot from my friends mostly, Ive been going to my doctor a lot thinking there is something wrong w.me terribly and I still think there is. she gave me "baby tranquilizers" and it seems to make me sleepy, which isnt so bad cause I need that. I havent been paying much attention in class cause basically I can't. And ive been obsessing about the physical things that are wrong with me. I am always the one to go out and do things and have fun and now I can't seem to. I feel like a whole other person. I hate it but I seemed to grow accustomed to it over the past almost 2 months. like its normal but it isnt. and work, I try not to even work that often. I feel like I dont want to be there and when it isnt busy my mind is thinking about other things. ugh I do not know what to do anymore. I want to live my life again.
I've dedicated my life to building walls around myself for "protection" . I have always been a loner, which is probably one reason for my anxiety and self-hatred. I'm finally tearing down some walls, but I've got a long way to go. I feel alone and bummed for no apparent reason today. The sun is shining, my daughter is coming over later, and I feel very down=( I really think you're just having a normal human reaction to lonliness. People need friends to survive. And you are a great friend to me. You know you can talk to me anytime about anything...I won't talk about mustaches anymore...luv ya sis...cat..=)
I have extreme ups and downs. It seems sometimes I can live with myself and deal with my anxieties because I can understand that I'm not letting myself get anxious, I'm an anxious person, then there are times when I can't stand the thought of how I am. I often feel as if I'm different from everyone else, I'm there but like a ghost, acting like a normal person for their sakes. I force myself to be with others, always hoping I'll lose my anxiety and feelings of 'differentness'. I am always surprised at how 'normal' people react naturally to things that, if I were alone, I'd be having another 19th nervous breakdown over. Does it sound odd to say that I often feel more lonely when I'm with people that when I'm alone or with animals? As you described yourself, people say I am friendly and forthcoming. My heart is in the right place, but my mind can't seem to be there with it as often as I would like.
Loneliness is such an unbearable feeling for me. I feel it when I'm alone but mostly in public. I think I am more lonely when I'm with people. I really like people...but I seem to get very anxious that I will say or do something that will hurt their feelings...so I sort of have my heart in my throat and my chest tightened when I'm with them. Still, I admire people who aren't haunted by unrealistic fears or anxieties and love those who are fellow sufferers. I'd take it all on myself if I could help just one haunted soul, like myself, from having the anxieties I suffer. It would make me feel as if I had a purpose in this life instead of just being a ghost of a person.
We all have our moments and our phases and our tough times, but when we have people to talk to its even nicer because theres always got to be that "someone" that has been in that same place as you have been before. So theres always going to be someone. Even if you need someone to just sit there and listen to you without saying a word, sometimes thats good too because you just vent out what ever is on your mind at the time. But please know if anyone needs someone to talk to or just listen, I am here. I love to reach out to people and be there when ever I can and I really try hard to be a good friend. So do not feel "embarrassed or shy or anything" because I really understand, we all have those tough times and need that "someone" there to confide in.
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