Anxiety at night, zoloft, heart tests and babies O.o

[ShainaW]

I've had anxiety issues for about 10 years now and have been bi-polar most of my life.  I find that, lately, I've been having more problems at night then at day ... and I mean specifically when the sun sets to when it rises again.  It's like all of those nagging fears and issues come out when the sun goes away and I can't breathe or relax until it starts getting light again outside.  It's not exactly that it's quieter, my husband and I usually stay up late anyway so I'm around someone.  I can't get comfortable enough at night to sleep, and if I absolutely have to I can't get comfortable unless my husband is laying down too.

I just recently had a baby via c-section and am just now getting back on my medication (zoloft).  I was on 150mg before I found out that I was pregnant and stopped taking it cold turkey when the tests came back positive.  Ironically, I didn't have that many problems WHILE I was pregnant -- it was like being pregnant was a natural form of medication.  Right after I had the baby, I was fine for the first two days and then wham, it hit again.  I understand part of the problem is probably post pardum stuff, but a lot of it is the same old stuff that I put up with before.

I'm hoping that it works again, I'm worried that since I got off the medication it won't work as well now, but only time will tell.  I'm starting on half dose for the first week before going back to the full 150, which is apparently a pretty high dose from what my other doctor told me.  My gyno gave me a month worth after having the baby before I go back to my general doctor (who is the one who originally perscribed the zoloft at the dose I take it) so that I can recuperate a bit before having to see him.

I'm also on metoprolol for having a fast pulse.  My pulse naturally is around 99 when I'm calm and can go up pretty high if I'm working out, etc.  Numerous doctors have wanted to do tests on my heart, which just freaks me out, but I know I'm going to have to eventually bite the bullet and take the stuff.  The fast pulse actually runs in my family on my mother's side in the women, so 50% of my brain says it's just genetics, but there's the other half that worries something is wrong.  I know, though, that if something's wrong it's best to get it handled now before it gets worse.  I know all the logic, it's just getting myself over the fear to actually move ahead with the tests themselves.

I want to give myself at least a month to recover from the c-section and for the zoloft/toprol to start working and calm me down before I go to my GP and likely have him send me for said tests.  Right now I hurt a lot and am having panic attacks.  I had one in the hospital right before I was sent home from the c-section and now at home I'm a nervous wreck that can't sleep well.  Oddly, the only time I'm CALM is when I'm holding my new daughter.  I just got the zoloft today so it will be at least a week for it to start working.

I just want to hold it together.  I am a stay at home mom with a newborn and a 5 year old, I don't have the luxery of curling into a corner and crying all day with them depending on me, and it's such a mental battle not to do that that I'm just mentally and physically exhausted by the early AMs.  I'm thankful that I married a very supportive man who honestly understands that I have these problems and sympathises.  He does get frustrated, but never AT me ... just at the "sickness."  He lays down with me so I can sleep even if he's not ready to, he hugs me when I cry for no reason and he tells me over and over again that everything will be okay when I get the "doom" feelings.

Honestly, if I didn't have him, I don't know what I would have done.  He's basically what's keeping me under control.

I didn't mean this to turn into such a long post, I just needed to let some of it out.  I hate worrying about everything I have no control over and being terrified about my own physical conditions.

Thanks for listening, though I am really curious if I'm the only one who has night time/day time specific issues when it comes to anxiety levels.

[ShainaW]

They try to not do that anymore.  If they knock me out, they have a tighter time limit to get the baby out brfore it effects them negatively from what I understand,

[Im_Using_The_Internet]

Why didn't they knock you out for the C-section? =/

[ShainaW]

Thank you for responding.

Weather doesn't bother me too much, but this anxiety runs in my family (female line along with the high pulse) and both my mother and grandmother are taking their own respective medicines to handle it.  My grandmother gets very depressed at night and during the winter.  She hates winter and is 100 times worse during the season until spring comes again.

The only time I had a panic attack DURING the pregnancy was when my husband had an infected gallbladder and had to be put in the hospital for the pain.  I'm really surprised I went through my c-section awake without totally losing it and crying.  I stayed strong, but I think it was mostly for my baby.  After the surgery I just broke down and had a sort of belated panic attack.  Was horrible that night.  The next day I calmed down again.

Not fun.

[radagegi]

Yes I totally have the same issue as u do!!!!!
I don't know why but when the sun is setting, I feel like im gonna have anxiety again.
Maybe because I was exposed to panic attack at night (my first time) and I started to think that nights give me nightmares..
So yeah!
and also weather..
when it gets colder, my anxiety fluctuates =\
Not a glorious feeling..