Anxiety/back pain after bereavement

[Crazy680]

Hi, almost 5 weeks ago I lost my Dad and suffered with shock when visiting him due to his condition and passing a couple of minutes after my arrival.  Surreal is the word to describe.  The whole situation was very stressful due to travelling, juggling work/kids etc.  Hes been ill for a long time but still came as a shock.  Less than two weeks later my husbands mum was taken ill and passed away just before Dads funeral so I had to attend my parents funeral alone.  Visits to the hospital with his Mums situation again juggling kids etc was v stressful.  Since the day Dad passed, I began to suffer severe tension/breathing problems and back pain which has got worse over the weeks.  On a morning, my back is on fire (either side of my spine) feels more muscle than anything else and if I move to one side more, feels like it could spasm and stay in one place.  My insides feel rock solid for a while. Takes a couple of hours after pain killers before it settles but as I breath in, I get a sharp pain in left back rib cage although the constant anxiety and not being able to catch my breath isn't helping.  

The pain seems to shift sometimes and is not isolated to one muscle area/neck.  I cannot decide if this is making the anxiety worse (as I'm awake from 3am) or if the anxiety is causing the back pain.  Mentioned twice to Doctors who kindly gave my first sick note for bereavement but haven't offered any medication for anxiety etc etc.  I was given diazepam for 3 days Doctor described for mental stress and relaxing after I broke down with the back pain/lack of sleep last week.  It doesn't seem to have helped.

Its getting worse and its affecting my day to day movements and yesterday I experienced a kind of panic attack on the motorway out of the blue, tears, breathing issues, lack of being 'with it' which frightened me.   I don't wish for this to be a long line of not knowing what is going on as I have a busy life, need to get back to work and need to function for my own family.  Can anyone offer any advice on this matter or what to do next.  I suspect if I can sort the anxiety, I can sort the back issue.  I don't feel depressed as others describe nor am I sat crying all the time if that helps (although have shed bucket loads over the weeks which is natural due to loss I'm told).  Many thanks.

[Crazy680]

Thanks so much for this I really appreciate you taking the time to reply, sorry for the late acknowledgement, just trying best to get up and get on and looking after self.  Thanks again. xxx

[Paxiled]

Bereavement is made worse by medication, in my opinion.  This is how people respond to real pain, and you have to work your way through it -- only time will dampen this.  If you need help, see a therapist, but drugs will just suppress the grief that you have to go through to get through and it will just come out later.