Anxiety is for girls?!

[newportttttttt]

All my family and friends especially my male friends, (suprisingly even female friends) think I'm faking my symptoms, and their saying that anxiety isn't a credible "mental disease", or that it's a womans condition.  It's really offensive to me and other people suffering from this mental problem.  I've been told several times that I'm only using this as an excuse to get my way or to get out of doing something.  I can't believe my own family and friends would do this to me or speak this way about other people, with out even understanding the reality of this condition.  I'm really tired of trying to convince people that have never experienced this and being told that I'm wrong and its all in my head.  I'm really exhausted and feel like Iv'e made zero progress with anyone.

[Paxiled]

I guess I'm a woman, then, because I've had anxiety disease for a lot of years now.  And all this time I thought I was a man.  Here's the info as I know it -- men just don't seek help as often as women.  They also tend to act out in nutty ways more often because of that.  Don't believe statistics -- even when they're done rigorously they're usually wrong.  One of the problems is that most studies rely on ridiculous questionnaires (I bet we've all taken these!), and that people lie.  This has most reliably been shown regarding sexual behavior, where women underreport and men overreport, if you get my drift.  Ask a woman about the number of sexual partners -- if a man does the questioning, the number is small; if a woman does the questioning, the number grows considerably.  The same is true with studies of mental illness -- it's all anecdotal, because nobody regulates the mental health profession.  Nobody ever asks patients if they've been helped, how long improvement lasted, etc., and for profit and status reasons, medical professionals lie like rugs particularly through their respective medical associations.  But if you read this one little forum, there's a pretty good balance over the years between men and women, so take that for what it is.  The important thing, and this is no easy matter, is to try and get better, not to listen to people who don't really know.  And be glad you're doing this today -- when I was young, nobody was allowed to admit to mental problems in much of the country -- that was certainly the environment I grew up in.  And that was California.  

[RubyWitch]

I've known people, both men and women, who have family and friends that think anxiety/panic doesn't even exist. As was stated above, many people have to "see" a disorder or disease before they believe it. The medical agnostics.
Not to make light of your problem, but at least in this day and age, it's lay people who don't understand or believe it. 40 years ago when my panic attacks began, the DOCTORS would say it was all in my head. They termed me a "Nervous Nellie," an "Anxious Annie."
They blamed it on my "female" hormones. They sent me home with that same diagnosis for the next 15 YEARS! Since the doctors said I was just a "nervous" person, my parents no longer wanted to hear about my symptoms and my friends would just look at me in bewhilderment. I do understand what you're facing.

If you could find an inexpensive book that explains anxiety and panic, lists the symptoms and explains how terrifying some of them are, like derealization, or the absolute belief of impending doom, which is usually our own death. If this book also discussed the many causes behind anxiety, the treatments, perhaps some testimonials of others who suffer. If you could give copies to the people you want/need to understand, perhaps the book could at least open their minds a little.
You could give them this Web address and have them read the stories of thousands of us who fight this every day of our lives.
If none of these things open any doors for discussion, get into therapy, which you need to do anyway, and you'll at least have one person who believes and understands. If friends and family continue to disbelieve, stop beating your head against the brick wall of their ignorance. Having the support of family and friends is a huge help, but there are a lot of us out here who didn't have that either.
I wish you the best and you're not alone. You have us.
Peace
Greenlydia  
  

[JGF25]

I don't know what the statistics are but maybe women do have anxiety more than men.  But why don't you try reminding your friends that men also get breast cancer.  Statistically not a lot of them but it does happen.  

[newportttttttt]

Thank you for your advice/support!...

[Intellectualwarrior]

Mental disorders not only have stigma to it but lack of credibility because people can't "see" whats wrong with you. If your friends are religious I would tell them just because you can't see it physically doesn't  mean it isn't there and if they argue bring up God. If they are not religious I ask them what they do when they have the flu and if they ever missed work do to the flew. Severe anxiety is like the flu in that it paralyzes you and its 10 times hard to do everyday things than someone without it.
Also I have found even though some things have changes this is still a very male oriented macho culture in America. Men are suppose to be "tough" and "suck it up" while women get leeway. Not much you can do other than pick up a few books on anxiety that studies show that the brain is not producing enough chemicals called serotonin and in some people even the impulse part of the brain has shrunk and they are influenced by their amygdala more than others in concept of feeling the anxiety (flight or fight). If they are not willing to educate themselves about what is going on in your brain to verify that itis a real condition they don't want to know the truth and its best to boot  them out of your life or at least keep minimum contact with them. Some people will never "get it" unless it happens to them.

[nobody_knows]

Hi I hate that one you are suffering with the awful symptoms of anxiety! I have suffered 3 years myself and I found in the begining that trying to get family and friends to understand my symptoms and how I felt to add more stress and more attacks I know its hard dealing with it without their support but believe me once you turn your focus to you and trying to over come this or @ least get it down to a minimum you will feel some relief some people just dont understand that this is a really serious situation just because its nothing really wrong doesnt mean that the symptoms are not really causing us pain and suffering my advise to you is to turn your focus to you and seek the help that you need to get yourself better. But to let you know we believe you and we understand. Hope you get to feeling better soon! :-))