Anxiety is torture

[loca636]

I have had some kind of paranoia all my life since in was a kid. I used to get nervous all the time but then over the years i calmed down. But for almost a year now i have been suffering with a lot of stress because i find that my paranoia gets triggered with the fear of pregnancy and STD's with any intimate moment i have with my boyfriend. We are not having sex because after having the worst pregnancy scare of my life i decided to become celebate. But even if we're not having sex i find that i still have that fear of possible pregnancy and STDs when we intimately touch each other. I seriously can"t stand this anxiety anymore, this phobia may seem ridculous to some people but its a serious issue for me. hope someone has some advice.

[lynn57]

You are probably not in school, but if you had access to a counselor that would certainly help.
You could probably get help through a state or county funded agency.  Even a planned parenthood counselor may be willing to help you find a p-doc.  You can usually find a doctor willing to take payment on a sliding scale.  You have to try something.  You can't go on the way you are.  Best of luck.  Keep us posted.

[loca636]

I'll try
and i think i need it now more than ever cuz i just can"t sleep at night comfortablely. i wake up scared and crying.

[turkee23]

do you have health insurance? find out what co pay is and go without them knowing

[loca636]

Thats just it, i can"t really go to a doctor for this kind of thing because my parents believe that if you have a mental issue then work it out yourself. They aren't the kind of people that believe in going to a psychiatrist unfortunitly.And since I'm financially dependant of them its pretty difficult. thats why i turned to this website hoping someone might have some idea or opinion that can help me out a bit.

[lynn57]

Sounds like a lot of pressure you put on yourself.  Try to remember you can't make everyone happy.  You really do have to think about yourself.  A psychiatrist would help a lot.  You need to value yourself for who you are.  If your parents love you they will not quit because you make a mistake.  We can't be perfect no matter how hard we try.  Once you pry into what causes your paranoia, I'm sure you and your doctor can deal with it.

[loca636]

I think where it comes from is the pressure i have had over the years of having my family look down upon girls having sex out of wedlock and getting pregnant young. I have witnessed many girls suffer miserably and being put in a position where theres no way out. it scares me to be put in that position and my parents aren"t exactly the understanding type. Their always telling me to take care of myself and to not fail them, because we have a lot of family members waiting to see me screw up my life so they can rub it in my face and my parents face.

[lynn57]

Did someone you care about have an unwanted pregnancy or STD, or did this fear develop out of nowhere?  If you know what triggers your paranoia, you are one step ahead of the game.  CBT could really be beneficial for you.  See a therapist and see what help he has to offer.