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Avatar universal

Anxiety or other problem?

Let me start by saying I am a healthy 26 year old male, 5' 7" and weigh 130 pounds. I have had an extremely stressful life, bouncing around from home to home and living very poor and on my own since I was 16... with no family except for a mom and sister I rarely see and talk to. As of the past 2 years my life has been much better, I've made many good friends and I've felt really good about myself so I'm unsure why this stuff im about to describe is occuring now... instead of back then. About 3 months ago... at around 2:30  a.m. I was just relaxing on my couch watching TV with my roommate. I got up to go use the bathroom, feeling completely normal. On my way back to the living room, I started having chest pain and what felt like shortness of breath. I told my friend something was wrong and I didn't feel quite right. I sat down at my computer to play a game to try and ease my mind. I started having intense trembling and sweating alot. I am fairly certain it was a panic attack, as I had been dealing with alot of stress between personal life and at work. The problem is this panic attack lasted approximately 2 hours. I finally worked up the courage to just go to sleep and see how I felt in the morning. I woke up feeling somewhat normal... other than a fear and concern for what happened the night before, but for the past 3 months I've noticed an onset of alot of other symptoms. I am always finding myself taking deep breaths, like I'm chasing a "good" one and rarely satisfied with the breath I take. I also yawn frequently and feel like I can't complete it... although sometimes I do complete it. I have good days and bad days... and it's on and off all day. I have also noticed a "pulsing" feeling in my arms, legs and stomach, that resembles a heart beat but it doesn't go in rhythm with my heart. It doesn't hurt it's just an unnerving feeling. I get these painless throbbing sensations in random places, 15-20 times a day. They pulse anywhere from 5-20 times and then just stop. I am also always very fatigued and have body aches all day. I don't sleep well at all, i'm up about every 2 hours, and I feel like i have to urinate. I can't fall back to sleep until I get up and go pee, even though every time I go it's barely anything at all. I still cannot convince myself to just go back to sleep, until I get up and go to the bathroom. Sometimes I'll return to bed and just lay there for an hour or 2 until I can fall back asleep. Also anytime there is any kind of excitement and times I should be happy, like climatic parts in a movie, or going to parties the anxiety tends to kick in. I have had 2 other episodes that felt like panic attacks since the one that occurred 3 months ago. On the 3rd panic attack, which occured at 7:30 in the morning after waking up from a bad dream involving my grandmother who passed away from a blood clot, I had my friend bring me to the ER. They did chest x-rays and bloodwork and said everything was fine. Still... I felt no better. About 2 weeks ago I was in a bad hit and run accident, a vehicle T-boned me and took off. I went to the ER to make sure I was ok. They did chest x-rays, head x-rays and more bloodwork and everything looked clear. I've cut down caffeine intake entirely, and have been eating much healthier over these past 3 months. Just drinking a soda now makes me feel fidgety and anxious, and I'm not sure if I'm causing this to myself out of fear for another panic attack. I also notice sometimes when I lay down at night to fall asleep, if I lay on the side of my head I feel it trembling gently as if the house is shaking or something.... but my house isnt shaking so it must be me. It seems as the day goes on... I feel more fidgety. I have fears of being alone as well. I also have this blank feeling in my head like i cant concentrate or focus on things that goes on and off. I've been really irritable and little things get me agitated. I constantly think I have heart problems, or lung problems, or MS or cancer... and plenty of other things that just run through my mind. I also have a bad habit of googling symptoms and using my own opinion to justify different diagnoses. I would have to say the 2 worst things are the fact that I always catch myself taking deep breaths, which make me say why am I doing this? and the painless throbbing sensation I feel in my body 15-20 times a day. Any time those things occur i start getting worrisome and panicky. I don't necessarily like medications... something about taking pills and their long term effects bothers me and I really don't want to take that route unless I absolutely have to. I have no history of drug abuse although I used to smoke marijuana... and it used to relax me and calm me. I can't even take 1 hit now without it making my heart beat race and making me panicky and anxious... so I haven't smoked in about 2 months. I am a cigarette smoker, but I do not drink much alcohol at all. Maybe once a month. The other small concern I have is that the lymph nodes in my neck are slightly swollen more than usual, but only to the size of a jelly bean.... but I don't ever remember being able to feel them like this before... although I do wonder if they've always been there and I just never noticed. They have been swollen and tender for about a month now. I haven't been sick at all... or had any fevers or headaches. My question boils down to... is this just anxiety and stress? Or something more serious? And if it is Anxiety/Stress do I really need medication to combat this or is it possible to deal with it on my own terms? I don't have medical so the decision to get help is a tough one. I was working as a cook, but was laid off 2 months ago when I showed up for work and the doors were locked and the business unexpectedly shutdown. I know this was a long read but I wanted to put everything out there.  Any input would be greatly appreciated... Thanks.
4 Responses
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731645 tn?1286832505
Hi there,

I just read about your anxiety problems and it's an awful to go through and I've been going through it for 20-years after being molested when I was 13-years old at the time I'm now 33. I know I get anxiety with situations that I don't want to be in like going to the doctors. You got my support anytime you need it so don't be afraid to post me any comments.
Helpful - 0
370181 tn?1595629445
You're very welcome and I can so sympthize with your situation, as can about 100% of us on this forum!
Until you can figure out how to get the help you need, please stay with us. As I said, we aren't doctors or therapists on this forum, but we have all been where you are and we have a lot of support and hope to offer you. And you are correct that by writing to us, you have taken the first giant step towards recovery. We aren't that much different than the folks in AA. Admiting we have a problem is the first step. Just keep taking those steps, OK?
Anytime you get to feeling "weird," you just get on your computer and post to us, OK? (NOT the symptoms sites!) We are 24 hours, just like Denny's, only we don't serve coffee.  
Stay strong!
Peace
Greenlydia
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thank you Lydia. I appreciate the response and it does make me feel much better about everything. This, I know though, is the first step in helping me cope with the anxiety. I appreciate all of your advice and your kindness. Again, Thank You.
Helpful - 0
370181 tn?1595629445
You begin this post with the statment that you had an, "extremely stressful life." In my humble and totally non-medical opinion, I believe therein lies your answer.
Anxiety can be very sneaky. It can "hide" from us for years and then, apparently out of the blue, it percolates into our conscious minds and blind-sides us. Which is one of the reasons it is so terribly frightening. If it was a reaction to an event that was happening in the present, we could understand it much easier. If it is floating to the surface from our past, we don't make the connection and our fear and anxiety increase.
From everything you have described, your symptoms are totally classic for anxiety/panic. Those feelings you get in your chest...........that "out of rhythm" sensation, I'm pretty sure you are describing heart palpitations which almost anyone with anxiety/panic can tell you about. You've had your heart checked out and it was fine and these heart palps are benign and will not harm you or your heart. The constant deep breaths that are not "satisfying" is another classic anxiety symptom. It is our bodies way of attempting to regulate the carbon dioxide/oxygen levels in our blood. I could probably take each and everyone of your symptoms and show you how they relate to anxiety, but trust me, they can.
I know you said that you don't have insurance and that does put you in a very bad situation, along with millions of us in the same boat.
But I will tell you this anyway. You need to see a doctor and have a really complete medical work-up. The time(s) you went to the ER, they were simply ruling out heart attack, they were not treating the whole you, that just isn't what ER docs do. You need to sit down with a doctor and show him this list of symptoms and have him/her rule out any organic reason for them. When and if the only card left on the table is "anxiety," it's time to consult a therapist. You said you don't like meds and that's fine. You don't automatically get put on meds when you see a therapist. Often simply talking will be enough. I would like you to keep your mind open to the possibility of a SHORT course of meds that will help you calm down. It sounds like you could use it, but that doesn't mean meds are the ONLY way that could happen.
If you talk to your doctor and the therapist about your lack of insurance, many times they will gladly work out payment plans for you, especially in the current economic climate. There are also other social agencies that can help and your doctors office should be able to direct you to them.
And please stay off the symptom-sites on the Net. In your current state of mind, they are doing nothing but adding fuel to your already ablaze anxiety!  If you have questions about symptoms, come to us. We aren't doctors here, but there isn't a single symptom that someone here hasn't had.
I wish I could tell you that you could simply deal with this on your own, I'm sure there are many people who do, but their road is 10 times as long and far rockier than if you seek medical and mental health help now.
Spend some time reading posts on this forum and you'll also learn you are not alone in feeling like this and that your symptoms are very common. That alone will go a long way to calm you down.
If you cannot find help, please post again and we'll all put our heads together and see how others in your position have found the help they need. Don't give up! Not ever.
And post here as often as you need to! We know where you are.
Peace
Greenlydia      
Helpful - 0
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370181 tn?1595629445
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