Anxiety taking a toll on relationship

I have severe anxiety and depression disorder and i have had it for many many years now.  I also have the best boyfriend any girl could ask for, but im realizing that the severety of my anxiety and depression is really hurting us.  I have major mood swings...one minute ill be happy and the next im crying and swearing and upset with the world...my boyfriend always was there for me..supporting me when i had anxiety and helping cheer me up when i got depressed.  I started Lexapro probably 4 months ago, but recently i keep lashing out at my boyfriend.  I always over think was he says and take it the wrong way and i end up getting mad at him.  Now he keeps getting mad at me for always ranking and doubting him and i try to not do it but i cant help it.  When im upset i yell at him about little things i dont like about him and it gets him very upset cayse he says im always picking at him.  The last thing i want to do is hurt him, but i cant seem to be able to control my emotions.  A few weeks ago i got so mad in general (not even at him) so i broke up with him.  He tried to change my mind and i didnt so he got mad and so i got mad at him and wrote him a nasty facebook wall post completely trashing him for everyone to see. I realize that was a horrible mistake, but things like this keep ruining my relationship with a man i really really love.  How can i help gain control of my emotions again??

[mammo]

Obviously the Lexapro isn't doing it's job for you!  Contact your prescribing doctor and let him know this, and all that you are feeling, it sounds like you have depression as well.  Talk all of this over with your doctor, there are medications that will help you, Lexapro just isn't the one.  Or it may be that you need an increase in it, or a complete change of medications.  He will know what is best for you.  Talk to your boyfriend, let him know that your medication hasn't been working, apologize and ask that he be patient with you as you are going to get to the bottom of all this ASAP.  Don't be too hard on yourself, it's difficult to control your emotions when dealing with anxiety/depression, let him know this.  He hasn't been seeing the "real you" and with the proper help he will.  He doesn't sound like one you want to get away! I do wish you all the best and take care!

[jul04]

I think talking to your boyfriend and apologizing is the first step in repairing the relationship.

As far as you getting better I think you should consider seeing a psychiatrist.  I know that is a big step but they will be able to help you get to the bottom of what might be causing your anxiety/depression.  They will also be able to work with you with the medication to find one that works for you....

I hope you start feeling better soon.....

[j17c27]

Thank you, both of your advice helps.  I am currently seeing a therapist but it doesnt help me at all. Possibly becuase i dont like the lady i have to talk to, but my options are limited in who i can see.  I was thinking of maybe seeing a phycotherapist instead.  What is the differece? is there? Im not sure, my cousin (who also struggles with anxiety/depression) is seeing someone who is titled as a professional psycotherapist, and im seeing someone with the title of just therapist.

[mammo]

The fact that you don't care for your therapist is reason enough to find someone else.  If you don't feel comfortable with her, it can hinder her helping you, or it may just be her!  You have to be able to connect with the person you are telling your inner most feelings to.  She hasn't helped, I'd move on.  Take care!