Anxiety

[ally258]

I am not sure what is going on with me, but for 3 days when I have gone out to public places, like today the BMV I was OK sitting there waiting until they called my number, I went up to the desk and couldn't talk and froze and had to run out of the place, I was sweating and just totally freaking  out... It started 2 days when we went out to eat, I was almost done and out of nowhere I started feeling weird and couldn't talk and ran out that time too, I thought I was going to have a seizure but didn't the feeling went away, and has only come back when I have to be 1 on 1 out in public with a lot of people around, I am really scared something is wrong with me and don't want to go out to stores or anywhere, I will go out but just wait in the car, because I am scared it will happen again, I don't know what to do please help

[ally258]

What else are supposed to do if your psych. Drops you because you can't pay the ridiculous fees, and the next time you ask for help someone tells you get over it, or we can't help you, and when you try to go the hospital you have a panic attack so bad you have to leave, and no one knows what to do and there's no where to turn, it feels like you only gave one option to get out of the hell you live everyday

[ally258]

I just wondered if their are professionals you can talk to live on here or anyone that you can talk to about what is on your mind, it seems like people don't answer your posts all the time. Or is there a talk line you can call if you want to talk to someone, I would appreciate it if someone would let me know  

[ally258]

Is there people you can talk to live on here, like IM I just wondered ?

[ally258]

I went to the psych. Dr. last week and he put me on Seroquel 150 mg and said to try that by itself for awhile before adding another med. he thinks maybe being on 4 meds. before was too much at one time, and can't tell which one was working or causing the severe anxiety. I still have the anxiety a lot going in public places where there is a lot of people in one area, but it is a lot better. I still avoid eating at restaurants, and hanging out at people house where there is more than 1 or 2 people, and that helps keep the level of anxiety way down knowing I don't have to that. The Dr. seems to think I didn't give the bipolar meds enough time to work, but with all the side effects I got I was scared to keep taking, he recommended counseling, which I think is a great idea too, but I am scared to have to go sit in a waiting room with a lot of people, and having a anxiety attack again, in public. My brother says " what's the worst that could happen " you might set off the people in the room to having a breakdown ? That's fine but the thought of even having the anxiety attack freaks me out, and not go.  I am so aggravated with all of it, and just want to find a med that works and be done

[ally258]

I have been off the mood stabilizers for a month and my moods are up and down still, and I still have anxiety so I called the psychiatrist and he put me on buspar for anxiety twice a day, I don't take it every day though, I see him on the 10th and will find out if there is a medicine that will help and not have all the side effects

[ally258]

  I heard from the Dr. and of course he told me to increase the paxil to 2 pills a day, so I decided I am not taking any of the meds, because that is what is increasing my anxiety out of control. I also don't want to be a test dummy trying to find the right meds while my brain goes through craziness while it's going on. I have felt better since stopping the meds yesterday, I still have social anxiety but its nothing like it was on the meds. I truly think this is what the problem was, now without the meds I just have to learn how to deal with the mood swings and anxiety, I will go to counseling for that

[Alisonj29]

I hope that you hear something tomorrow. It would be nice if they would see you and explain the med changes etc. I know my dosage of Depakote was quite high. I had to go in and have blood work done to see the levels in my blood and make sure they were in the therapeutic range.

[ally258]

     I think I am doing better but not sure, I still have major anxiety and in my own house. I let the dr. know and he just said to double the risperdal. So now I am taking 250 m.g. of Depakote, and 20 m.g. of paxil, and 2 m.g. of risperdal at bedtime I think its a lot of meds to be on at one time,  I called the dr. to tp let him know what was going on, I should hear something tomorrow, I hope he doesn't say to increase the meds again,  we will see

[Alisonj29]

Cognitive Behavior Therapy. Here is a run down of what it is

http://www.anxietynetwork.com/hcbt.html

[ally258]

Hi, thanks, I am looking for a counselor right now, I asked for a list when I was there, and he gave me one that has free counselors on it. I was waiting before because everything cost so much, and counselors usually costs a 100 dollars a hour and I am already paying a lot for the psychiatrist, I don't have insurance right now. So I am gonna try that now, hopefully with the new meds and the old ones out of my system I should be OK to go out in public, and what is CBT ?

[Alisonj29]

I am so sorry the appt did not go as well as you wouldve liked. But you did manage to talk to him and get things sorted out. I really hope that what he has prescribed will help you with the ability to get out and then maybe you can talk with a therapist or try CBT.

[ally258]

I went to the psychiatrist today, and had a complete meltdown, had to do paper work in the hallway, and when the waiting room cleared out, I went in and sat down. And when the Dr. called I could not go in the room, I asked him if he could talk to me in the waiting area, he said he couldn't because of privacy laws, so he asked me if I wanted him to leave his door open I said yes and that helped, but managed to cry through half the appt. he said that my body was rejecting the Lithium and that was making my illness worse ( anxiety disorder) so my fiance explained everything to him for me and I managed to calm down after that, it was horrible I was SO embarrassed and he took me off the lithium, and put me on 250 m.g. of Depakote, and 20 m.g. of paxil and told me to keep taking the risperdal at night. I hope this works because I am tired of the severe anxiety and not being able to go out in public

[Alisonj29]

Good for you being able to go out to stores. Try to go to your appt tomorrow with an open mind and do not be afraid, They are there to help and talk to many people with similar issues. Good Luck tomorrow and keep us updated. You will do fine at the appt.

[ally258]

I still have the anxiety but I have been able to go out to stores just not deal with anyone directly, I guess that's a start. I go to see the psychiatrist tomorrow so I'll see what he says is wrong, this should be fun considering I have not been able to talk to anyone in public, I will probably have to be forced to go in the room with him, that's gonna cause severe anxiety

[Alisonj29]

I am sorry you are feeling worse. If you feel you need to go to the ER dont hesitate, dont let them just send you on your way, make sure they listen!
Hang in there, I hope you are able to get answers soon.

[ally258]

I am still having that feeling today and now I get it when I am at home too. This is really getting annoying to me, because I thought it was only when I went out in public, now I get that feeling when I look or talk to my fiance, I feel it coming on I worry about it happening and then it happens, I try to play it off and look away, hoping it will go away, so I am guessing now I need to go to the E.R. because it's getting out of control, its weird but it feels like the start of a seizure and the anxiety sets in and it feels weird in my brain ( literally) that's the only way I can explain it, I wish it would stop, and I would be like I was before..

[ally258]

  Hi, I know anxiety doesn't make any sense at all, and my fiance has never been quick to anger ever, I think he was frustrated because we waited all that time at the bmv for me just run out of there. And he was trying to get my Id made without me having to go inside and the lady wouldn't allow it, I had to take my picture and you can't do it outside of the place. After that he was angry, but since that happened he has not tried to make me go into any places, and actually said he knows the routine ( I was waiting in the car ) As of yesterday I went into Walgreens without any problems and went up to the register but only stood there while he paid, I didn't have contact with anyone and was standing off to the side, so that is a step up from the other day at least. There wasn't anyone in the store either so that made all the difference, low anxiety, it was strange how it even started, being that I never had that problem before. My fiance is very supportive and is frustrated because he has never dealt with mental illness in this way. I haven't either for that matter, things are happening that I never expect. I don't work either, and am trying to get disability but doubt that it will happen, I have been denied twice before 3 years ago, but diagnoses has changed since then too. So all in all I think he is just learning how to deal with the whole thing, also as for your husband I think its unfair to be quick to anger, when dealing with someone elses illness, and you deserve understanding, maybe he just doesn't understand what's going on with you, anyway I wish you luck with everything.....

[jlroesner]

Ally,

Was this a side of your fiancee you'd never seen before?  Is he ususally quick to anger?  I know my husband is.  And it can get pretty ugly.  God, I hate talking about this, but I want you to know that you are not alone if you are in a similar situation as I am.  My husband is a passionate man.  He feels everything strongly.  Joy, love, passion, anger, jealousy, insecurity -- all of it.  I love him very much, we have been married for 10 years, but I swear he drives me crazy and makes my anxiety worse.  He is so high strung and I never know what will set him off.  I'm afraid of going to the grocery store because of several things actually, but one of them being that I know when I get home I KNOW no matter how much I've followed the list that HE MADE OUT, I will get yelled at, badly.  I either will have bought the wrong food or been gone too long or spent to much money (even if I stay within the budget he originally gave me).  About a year ago, I told him I didn't care if we all starved, I was never ever going grocery shopping again.  NEVER.  It was a no win situation for me.   And I chose not to play.  And I still don't to this day.  He works, I don't.  I have more time to go to the store.  I'm a better shopper economically.  We both know this, and still I refuse.  If I'm having anxiety or PA, he rolls his eyes and watches TV.  If I tell him I'm terrified of something, he rolls his eyes and tells me to "stop being ridiculous".  Now, I had to make a choice and a decision that I could stay with all the ramifications that brought to me or I could choose not to be in that relationship.  Obviously I chose to stay, and thus I must get my support elsewhere.  Is this what your fiancee is like?
    Anxiety doesn't make sense. It just doesn't.  I know, believe me I know, how helpless it leaves you feeling.  But, you are among friends here who understand.  Take good care.  Jen

[ally258]

I just got a call from the drs. office today, and he said to double the risperdal, that it was a anxiety attack, I explained to the lady that called ( not the Dr. himself ) that I thought that it was a reaction to the lithium and I never had anxiety happen that way. I have had severe anxiety for years, but never had trouble going to public until 3 days ago. The dr wanted to see me sooner, but I can't pay for the appointment until the scheduled day to go, February 8th, so he just said if I need to take one during the day ( the risperdal ) for anxiety I could, but to keep taking the medicine and call back if there is anymore problems. I still think it is medicine related but am going to try what he said to do... My brother who is also on Lithium said caffeine can cause issues with the meds. I do drink a lot of pop and coffee in the morning and maybe that is having a problem mixed with the meds, I didn't drink any yesterday and still had the attack. I just want to know why all of the sudden I have anxiety in public when I have to talk to someone 1 to 1 its so weird to me. My fiance got so angry yesterday at BMV and started yelling at me and tried to force me to go back inside, like I could control what was going on, or wanted that to happen, I started crying outside the door and couldn't control it, it was so embarrassing, he told me that he didn't know who I was and that it wasn't me, he said he looked at me and didn't know who I was. It was so hurtful I had a complete breakdown when we got home, because that isn't me, and I hate not being able to control what happened and trying to explain what was wrong with me, when I don't even know. We have been together for 14 months, and my mental has declined to it'd worst in the last 1 to 2 months, I don't know what else to do but post on here, I can't talk to him because he doesn't understand, and acts like he's isn't interested... I don't know what to do

[jlroesner]

Hi Ally.
I would definitely talk to the doctor about side effects of an increased doseage of lithium and even Risperdal.  Sometimes, medications can cause a side effect of trembling and so forth, but only your doctor whether you were having a panic attack or if something else physical is going on.  Maybe let him know that you are concerned about some symptoms you've been having that are inconsistent with the anxiety you've experienced in the past.  But, as Alison, mammo, and kimliz said, it is not uncommon for anxiety attacks/panic attacks to just start out of seemingly nowhere.  Mine did.  In my opinion, that's part of what makes them so scary!  You can't explain why that happened.  It never happened before, but you sure as heck don't want it to happen again.  It makes sense to think that if you avoid where it happens, then it won't happen.  The only problem is anxiety isn't logical.  The more you avoid, the worse it gets.  Believe me.  So, you can't avoid because in reality it makes it worse.  But please, do seek some information from your doctor before you brush it off as anxiety.  It could be something as simple as a reaction to your medication.  I'm not sure.  Please let us know what your doctor says, and in the mean time feel free to join in here.  This is a great place for support.  Jen

[kimliz]

My husband is a big, burly "manly" fellow, and he began having panic attacks "out of the blue", and they scared him to death.  He learned to deal with them without using medication, as he is a truck driver, and many of the medications used to treat panic attacks are ones that commercial drivers can't be on.

This is nothing to be ashamed of, and it's nothing that's your fault.  My husband found out that Splenda will increase the frequency of his, and we've read that others have this problem, too.  (I'm not saying that everone's panic attacks are a result of Splenda, I'm just mentioning it in case it would help you or someone else.

If you'd like more information on what helped my husband, just post here again, and I'll briefly go through what helped him.  (It was an online e-book, but I don't think I have the website anymore, but I can sure tell you the main points of the "program" that helped him.  Best of luck to you!

[Alisonj29]

Well  make sure you tell him that its not as simple as doubling your medication, that you want him to talk about other options as well and its affecting your daily life. Be firm and make him listen to you

[ally258]

O.k I know I need to call my doctor, I am just worried he will say to double the lithium again, the last time I had really bad anxiety that's what he said ( 2 weeks ago ) and this is where I am now, and I am trying really hard not to think about it, but I also am not trying to go out anywhere my fiance got really upset with the incident at the bmv. He basically thinks its crazy what happened and said he has never known anyone that has acted like that, I told him it scared me too and it wasn't something I can control....

[Alisonj29]

Yes panic attacks can have a very sudden onset. It usually does come out of nowhere. Give your doctor a call and try really hard not to think about it as it will likely cause more anxiety and lead to another attack