Better days are out there!

[mele48]

I've noticed a lot of comments on this forum recently from people who say they read answers for help and don't necessarily ask questions.  I just wanted to share with you that, for all you journeyers on the anxiety road, better days are out there.

I started my struggle with anxiety about 10 years ago - had a massive panic attack when I was working 20 hour days on an out of town job and had a family emergency.  After several years of managing well with the occasional use of xanax and regular visits with a great psychologist, this fall my anxiety became daily, chronic, and crippling.  I was so afraid that I was never going to get my life back - that I was never going to be "me" again.  And, kooky dingbat chocolate & Star Wars loving soul that I am, I'm pretty awesome.

After a long road of tying myself up in knots, worrying about what other people would think, an impressive allergic reaction to a new anxiety med, etc etc, I finally made the decision to get more help for myself.  I saw a psychiatric Nurse Practitioner a couple of months ago for the 1st time.  She explained that anxiety is NOT about being weak.  Anxiety is NOT about failing.  My anxiety is about a chemical imbalance.  Taking meds & getting help is NOT weak or failing, it's brave.  Although it didn't feel brave - it felt exhausting!  She told me that if I had diabetes, wouldn't I take medicine?  I have allergies - don't I take meds for those?  Why?  Because my body can't do 100% of its job without help.  My body - not "me".

I started on zoloft 54 days ago.  And I've had my ups and downs.  But I kept doing what I could and what I needed to for help - I have my family and a close couple of friends who are my posse & talk me off my ledges.  I totally stink at drinking enough water, but I am trying to eat well.  Okay, so I don't always eat my vegetables....but I try, and that's the important part.  I'm trying to exercise, even though I'm taking it slow.  I'm trying to say "yes" to things I know are good for me, and "no" to things that aren't.  That meant hiding some people from my Facebook newsfeed, and saying no to encounters that would put me with stressful people - even the ones I care about.  I'm embracing my bad days vs. fighting them, and rejoicing on my good days.  It means making sure I ask my NP questions, that I'm comfortable with my treatment plan, and keeping up sessions with my counselor.  

And I've had this awesome community of encouraging people.  I can't tell you how much this forum has helped me - knowing that I'm not alone on this journey.  Some of your comments or questions were chapter and verse my own experiences!  

So for all of you who feel as if you'll never get your life back, that it's never going to get better, that you're weak & a failure because you can't "snap out" of your anxiety - - - please, please know that better is definitely out there.  Now, what has worked for me may not work for anyone else.  Everyone's put together differently, and has their own needs.  But please, value yourself and your happiness enough to seek help, whatever that help may be.  You are not weak!  You are a beautiful soul who deserves to be happy.  Yes, not every day will be stress or anxiety free, not every day will be hearts & flowers.  But there are whole hosts of good days out there waiting for you.  And please know you're not alone.

[9DodgeFan]

Thank you for your post!  I'm going through a very difficult time right now, and having difficulty believing things will get better.  I'm trying very hard to have positive thinking, along with medication.  Hopefully I'll start seeing improvement soon; it's very difficult when it feels like you're going nowhere!

[Paxiled]

A positive attitude isn't just a good thing, it's probably the only cure -- wish I'd been better at it.  Just want to be clear on something that keeps coming up, however -- there is not solid scientific evidence that anxiety is due to a chemical imbalance.  That's a theory put out by pharmaceutical companies based on Prozac's early experience with people suffering with depression, but if it is due to a chemical imbalance nobody knows which chemicals they are or what part of the brain it is.  It might even be in the digestive tract, as recent research suggests focused on beneficial organisms, but that's not prove yet either.  It is important to be as accurate as possible, because a chemical imbalance implies this is a permanent condition, and since many people have gotten over it we should never assume this is something permanent and chemical or genetic or any other thing until or unless solid proof appears showing that to be true and that hasn't happened yet.  So be even more positive -- you probably don't have a chemical imbalance, and while the drugs can help with your symptoms, hope for something even better -- a cure whether through time, experience, therapy or whatever.

[nursegirl6572]

WONDERFUL thread!

People often discount HOW important it is to TRY to keep a positive attitude.  You're the poster child lately for that, mele.

It's so important that people know they're not alone.  Thanks for this thread!

[anxiety860]

Thanks for that... Being a male I used to think I was "weak" taking medication. I would tell myself.. No i'm a man I don't need that.. Boy was i 100% wrong.  I got so bad I finally KNEW i needed medication or i would pretty much be disabeld.. The medication has done wonders for me. I'm still not 100% to where I want to be, but it helps.  Anyways. I enjoyed that post.

[Mommyju]

Oh so good to read this!!!! =)