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1448936 tn?1363206346

Boyfriend's health issues causing me anxiety.

My boyfriend has been dealing with gastrointestinal issues for some time now. Last night he was in the bathroom for almost an hour at 5:30am. It seems like hes been getting worse yet he refuses to think about it or even attempt to see a doctor. I've been starting to get anxiety over it because I worry about him. Cancer runs in his family and had a family member die from stomach cancer so of course im thinking the worst. I dont know what to do with this situation. I really worry about him yet he doesnt seem to care that him not seeking medical attention is really upsetting me.

Last night when he was in the bathroom i got a horrible panic attack because i was so worried about him. he thinks no insurance is a valid excuse for not seeing a doctor but when i didnt have insurance i was able to find doctors within the local health department that treated patients without insurance on a sliding scale based on their income.

Im at a loss. Worrying about him being sick is making me sick.
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1448936 tn?1363206346
Oh yes...my phobia surfaces everytime he complains of feeling sick to his stoach. However the main problem with his stomach is the opposite of my phobia...by which I mean he has trouble with the other end. Tried to type that without being graphic lol.

But today he complained a bit and I ignored it and brought up a completely different subject. I'm still worried though :/
Helpful - 0
1547031 tn?1296831436
Yep, my hubby is the same way.  He is a diabetic and I used to beg him and remind him to take his blood sugar, take his pills, schedule a follow up at the doctor, yada, yada, yada.  It ended up with him ignoring me and me being worried he would die.  Finally, one day I just looked at him and said, "You know what?  You are 42 years old.  I will no longer baby you or worry over your health.  You are a big boy, you deal with it".  His next sentence, I swear to you, was "OK, will you call and make me an appointment?" Stubborn little man-boy.  Maybe, just maybe, the same will happen with your bf.  BTW, how are you handling him having gastro issues?  Does just the fact that it is gastro set you off?  I know it would me...
Helpful - 0
1448936 tn?1363206346
thank you for the advice. i guess now when he complains of not feeling well instead of babying him and showing him how worried i am i will do my best to not do that. its going to be hard because of course im a worrier. but i understand that if he no longer has me to worry about his health maybe he will start to worry about it. thats a very good idea. thank you so much! and i know its not beneficial at all for me to worry so much that i get myself sick but again the anxiety is good at doing that to me. im seeing my therapist later this week and maybe i'll bring up this issue with him and get his thoughts on it.

thanks so much again.
Helpful - 0
345079 tn?1299202476
Its so hard when people we love are sick. I too get anxious when my husband is sick. He was in severe pain from his wisdom teeth once and was in tears. I begged him to go and see the dentist or doctor but he wouldnt. Finally he couldnt take it and went to the hospital. I realized then that its his life and as much as I bother him etc he has to be the one to make the decision to go. I think you should mention to him that you are really anxious about it and maybe he will consider it. But in the meantime, try your very best not to think the worst. I know that is what we are best at, but chances are pretty good its not serious or he would be more willing to seek help or even have more symptoms. Sending you hugs as I know its not at all easy.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I understand your concern, but you need to back off.  Men can be quirky when it comes to their health, and often the more we worry....the less they do.  Once you stop doing all the worrying about his health, he'll sit up and take notice.  I've been thru this with my own husband, and when I stopped worrying, he started to!!!  I figured he is a big boy and either wants to grow old with me or doesn't, but I couldn't make him see the doctor, nor was I going to make myself sick over it.  Just tell your boyfriend that you'll respect his wishes and not bother him anymore about it, and then don't.  I'm sure he'll soon be talking to you about seeing the doctor.  He has to want to do this, you can't make him and it's not worth you getting sick over.  Your heart is in the right place and it's not fair of him to worry you like this, but all it's getting you is sick.  Try what I suggested and see if he comes around.  I wish you all the best, and take care of YOU!
Helpful - 0
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