Cancer Phobia!

[johanni]

I seem to be spiralling badly with this health anxiety.First, it was a fixation with my heart.That has now been ruled out.Then, just as I started feeling better a new anxiety has taken its place .I now think I may have cancer!I thought I was doing well for a while accepting that my symptoms were not cardiac,but anxiety.Now its as if my my mind wont let me relax and is trying to find another basis for my recurring symptoms.Why cant I just accept it for what it is-my anxiety dissorder!I really am losing faith in my sanity.This is truly a nightmare condition to live with!!If only the symptoms went away,then I guess anxiety would not be a problem.Or is it the other way around,that subconscious anxiety is creating the symptoms.I GIVE UP!!!
Dimi.xx

[meower2015]

It's been very encouraging to read everyone's story on here and know I am not alone. I have been battling this for three months now as I went through some health scares. I am now seeing my second therapist. My subconscious mind now feels like my enemy, always sending me signals of impending doom and just "wrongness" in my body. I know I am physically fine but this just won't go away. I may have several hours that feel almost normal but then the rest of the day I feel this ill feeling, every day. It is such a struggle to try to control my brain, when before it was natural and I didn't even think about these things. I often just want to cry or rage at the universe for putting me through this, but I try my best to focus on the positive that one day I will get through this!

[daniel7888]

I understand your fear and I am sorry that you are going through this. Fear is a horrible beast especially when your own mind lets it out of the cage. I've have had this phoiba for a over a year know. I have been to the emergency room 3 times and had bloodwork and scans, I have seen 3 specialists and all have confirmed that I do not have any life-threatening illness like cancer or any close to it. I hope you can beat this. I hope that we can beat it. I have two young children and I have found that most people including myself do not fear death per se but do fear not seeing their precious little ones grow up. We fear not getting to share our short amount of time with loved ones, husbands, wifes, mothers, fathers, etc. These are truly my greatest fears outside the thought of cancer itself. I am there with you and you are not alone. This is not the only thread out there if you need to talk to someone. I know it may be old and I simply stumbled upon it trying to figure out whats wrong with me but keep looking for help. I'ts out there and people do care.

[Kara1887]

I know this thread is old but it looks like there have been some recent comments. I've always felt so alone with my health anxiety but I'm happy to see so many others that I can relate to. I am sorry though that so many of you are going through this horrible horrible problem. I can remember all the way back to when I was a kid that I had health anxiety. I can remember all of the time asking my parents if I was going to have a heart attack and die. I don't know where or why I even thought of that but I did. As a teenager I can remember feeling like I couldn't breathe and I begged my mom to take me to ER. She did and absolutely nothing was wrong with me but I still couldn't shake the feeling of something being wrong. As an adult (I'm 28 now) my anxiety has gotten even worse. I have gone through so many diseases/cancer. It's not even funny. Brain tumor, colon cancer, breast cancer, melanoma, etc. etc. I hate this. Currently I'm scared that I have melanoma even though I just went to the dermatologist 1 month ago. She found nothing wrong but in my mind I just know she had to of missed this spot on my chest that I think looks weird. My husband constantly reassures me that she didn't miss looking at this spot and if it was something to worry about that she would have wanted to biopsy it. Even though his reassurance helps for maybe 10 minutes after that 10 minutes I'm right back to worrying. And now I have a small red spot on my chest and forearm. They weren't there when I went to the dr so I of course think these are also melanoma. When my brain actually works right and I can think realistically I know that they are probably just dry spots but I can't shake the feeling of it being melanoma. I have a husband and 3 small kids and my health anxiety scares me more than anything. I do not want to leave my kids or husband behind. I know one day that I will die and I'm okay with that fact but I just want to be in my 70's or 80's. I want to see my kids grow up and I want to have time to spend with my husband after the kids have left the house.

[Brittany4121]

This is my story:
I was a normal 21 year old, married already and moved out with my wonderful husband.  Had NO worries in my life except for the minor stresses of work/college.  Then one day I was at work and had a very sharp pain in my chest (VERY obvious that something was wrong....I couldn't breath).  It turned out that it was a spontaneous collapsed lung.  I was in the hospital for an entire month...6 chest tubes and 2 surgeries. (Trying to sum it up).  And basically it was the WORST time of my entire life.  I honestly, honestly thought I was going to die in there.  When I was finally released, the anxiety hit.  Every ache, every pain, anything....and I was running to the doctor thinking that something else was wrong with me.  "what if, what if, what if!" ....I live every day in fear that my opposite lung is going to collapse as well...I was having very bad heart palpitations and assumed I had heart failure....I have lumps in my breast and now I think I have cancer.  It honestly is SO exhausting.  The depression, the FEAR of death and the unknown.  I wanted all of you to know that you are not alone! I tried counseling and basically when it comes down to it...YOU have to have the POWER in yourself to think more positively about life.  I know that the terrible thoughts of sickness and death keep coming...and when they come, try to replace them with positive things! Our problem is that our brains focus SO hard on the negative...that we don't see the positive.  MAKE yourself see the positive.  I have found from listening to my counselor and from reading many thing online that you honestly have to work at this.  It's not like you will just wake up one day and your mind won't be running a marathon saying you have cancer, you have heart failure, you're DYING.  You have to tell your brain WHO is BOSS.  I know it is extremely difficult to change the way that you think...trust me I know...but you have to weigh the pros/cons.  If you live your life in constant fear of death....are you really living?  
Find your purpose...meditate...be kind...smile when you don't want to...have faith...focus on the positive...and LIVE the life you have.
Best Wishes

[gbeckylynn]

I cannot believe the amount of people with this anxiety disorder. I thought I was alone and crazy. I visit the doctor at least once a month because of this. Every little pain I get is cancer. It doesn't help that almost every one of my family members that have passed away on my mother's side have died of cancer. I am convinced that I will as well. What I fear most is leaving my children. As I sit here typing this, I am thinking about the brain tumor I have because of the headache I've had for a week that will not go away! Living like this is horrible and well my medical bills are a whole other story. I would give anything to just be normal

[Kay1986xx]

Hey everyone! I have been looking for something like this and as usual, Medhelp has my answers :) I am so relieved yet so saddened to see so many other people in the same boat as me. In the past year, I have 'battled' skin, pelvic, ovarian and various other cancers, yet nothing has come of it ha. i currently have three issues that I'm still waiting to see doctors about. My ongoing v. discharge between periods (if it happens again this month!) that I've already had exams/swabs/ultrasounds on, chest cancer (I have what feel like fatty lumps on my ribs, both sides may I add but still 'lumps' (so still scary!) and one of my boobs suddenly looking funny (the part near the chestbone seems to dip in, other side does it a little, has it always been like this or am I just being silly because this is recently one of my worries and am too scared to ask my fiance "have they always looked like this"? One thing I will end on though is that HA is a HUGE issue and very, very scary. I was recently petrified for being referred for a pelvic and transvaginal ultrasound...yet I know the not knowing would have driven me even crazier. Such a vicious circle so I feel for each and every one of you xxxx