Can't Relax

Hi all, I'm a mom of 5. I happen to be 70 pounds overweight too. I got off Prozac 4 months ago and have gone downhill. I thought it wasn't doing much for me, but was I wrong. I can't relax, all day long. My muscles stay sore and tense, I worry-worry-worry. I can barely leave my home and can barely do much inside my home, because of the muscle aches, exhaustion and anxiety. Can anyone relate?

[greenlydia]

We can all pretty much relate, Toots! 5 kids would test the patience of Job and I certainly don't want to sound mean, but for your own health, you really must think about losing the extra weight. That alone would help you to feel better.
Since the Prozac helped you, why not speak with your doctor about getting back on it? You are in a bit of danger of developing agoraphobia and that is the last thing you need with 5 kids! I think it's time to take the bull by the horns here, Kate! If you can carry and give birth to five kids, good Lord woman, you can do ANYTHING!
While you are discussing your anxiety issues with your doctor, ask him to help you with a diet plan or set up an appointment with a nutritionist. I know it's hard to lose weight, especially when you have kids and have all that food around all the time, but I know you can do it! Look into getting involved with a support group of other moms. It saved my life and my marriage!
Let us know how you're doing, OK? Just keep saying "Yes I Can!" Because it's the truth.
Peace
Greenlydia

[Katie35801]

I actually have developed agoraphobia, it's pure hell to leave my home. :(

[greenlydia]

I'm very sorry to hear this, Kate. I have never experienced it myself, but from what I've heard about it on this forum, it sounds terrifying. BUT........you are a smart woman and you know what you have to do, and I know it's asking the impossible when you can't leave your home.............but SOMEHOW you must find your way into therapy. And the sooner the better!
Have you been to the Agoraphobia Forum here? You might give them a shout and see what advice they can give you. I'm sure there are people there who have overcome this terrible disorder and can give you the hope and encouragement you need.
You might also put out a call to our "MrGreen" who has dealt with this and is doing very well.............he will have words of wisdom for you and is a real "kick in the pants" kind of guy!
Please keep us up to date on how you're doing and if there is anything we can help you with. We're always here!
I wish you the very best, Kate. You CAN do this.
Peace
Greenlydia  

[MrGreen]

Katie. Let me introduce myself to you. I'm Mr Green. Long term sufferer of agraphobia. I was housebound for over a decade. It was a living nightmare. First things first. You have done good by coming here and posting. That part is never easy. Wondering how people will react to your posts. Trust me your every word hit home with me. The fact that your muscles are sore all day is because of how we tense up. We do this for protection. To protect ourselves from that anxiety we fear will hit us any second. Bit like when a cat sees a dog. You ever see the way it stands. I remember those feelings so well. And if I recall it could take me days to come down from that situation again. My whole body would be hurting. The more it hurt, the more I worried about it. So now we engage in step number 1. Understanding those pains. What they are. You now know that they are just you going on full guard. It is something agraphobics do a lot. If we sense panic or know we must leave the house. Pure nightmare. But the more we accept these things and the more we understand them, the less painful they should become. I have no doubt you would have heard of Fight or Flight? We either stay and fight the feelings or we flee in fear. What do you imagine would be the worse case senario, if, the next time, you got those pains, you said ' this is natural ' and just ignored them? I know it is not easy. It is easy for me to suggest this. But for you to try it will be a great first step. Even if it is for just five minutes at first. To let the feelings you are experiencing come and don't flee from them. More explore them. Each ache. Where it hits. Flex that part of your body. Tight as you can. Then let it go after a few seconds. I still do this when relaxing. Clinch my fists tight. Because when I release the clinch I can feel the tension go. I am not holding myself up like that cat in fear every second of every day. That is your muscle aches.

As you can imagine, such a thing would take so much out of you. It drains you. Hence it used to take me days to recover when it hit bad. I had no energy at all. All I wanted to do was retire to my bedroom and hop back into my bed. Stay there till the next day. It could seem like one long day, with only the night spltting it up. Sleep, if I got any, was the only release I had. So trust me when I say that you are putting so much into fighting the condition that you are wearing yourself out. Again, if you can practice not fighting it, you will see a big difference.

Can I ask about hobbies? For the sake of a distraction. Something else you can focus in on. Because we tend to focus on ourselves too much. Find things to worry over. If we had that one little something we could do for maybe 15 minutes to begin with, that would be your time away from your problems. It can be exercise. It can be coming on here and writing. Just so the focus is not inward. The more we focus inwardly the more anxiety we will find.

Medication wise. I do think you need something. Agraphobics don't take to medication too well. We seem to hate it for some reason. But I am on four different types at the minute. So it's a case of finding the right medication for you. It might be a mixture of tablets. If you get to see a doctor mention the anxiety. Make sure you are giving something especially for the anxiety. It will help your lifestyle. It will help you to relax. Medication doesn't change our thoughts though. They are own. But once we begin to feel better you will see that our thoughts begin to change too. So much so that if you woke and felt great you would wonder why. Odd life we live. We would think there must be something wrong that we are feeling so good.

Just stick with us on this one. Check out the agraphobia community here on MedHelp. We have a few good members over there who would be willing to swap stories and help you out as best that they can. So don't give up on us, now that you have found us. There is always a sollution.

Mr Green

[greenlydia]

Kate..........you've been given some excellent information and advice from someone who has overcome his agoraphobia. And for those of us who know and love him, we know the price he has paid for that recovery. You must also pay a price, but if you follow what MrGreen has told you, you'll see for yourself that it can be done. I got the sense from you that your agoraphobia was relatively "new" and that while it scares you, you DO still go out when you must. Hang on to that for all your worth and consider therapy one of the things that you "MUST" do. Do it for yourself AND your children. Please let us know how you're doing, OK?

And thank you, MrGreen, for answering my call for help. I'm sure your words have given Katie much comfort and hope and your strength in overcoming a decade of being housebound will give her the courage to get the help she needs now.
Peace
Greenlydia
  

[Katie35801]

Thank you both for your responses. I have had anxiety for 10 yrs, but this is the first time I've actually been housebound, I've been this way for about 3 months. It's horrid. I give you all my sympathy mrgreen for dealing with it for over a decade (((hugs))). Your words gave me great comfort. Prozac does seem to help, but I have had every excuse to not be on it, I stopped it 5 months ago. I am going to check out the agoraphobia forum. Bless you both.

[MrGreen]

It can be a slow process back from agraphobia. Like you are learning to do everything all over again. Step by step. But that is how we do it. Step by step. We don't run and jump on the first day. We try that and we would end up worse. Little things at a time. The hall door for a few minutes. Until you see it is safe to stand at the door. Once you accept that, the front garden. Again until you feel safe. Nobody is asking you to leave the garden. We have to feel safe in these places. To trust them again. Then we might take it one step further. If we had a friend living near by. Go to their garden. It is advised to trust in that friend you story or else they will wonder what one earth you are up to. LOL. But the more we do the better we feel in ourselves. We have our set backs from time to time. But we know we have beaten it before. So we know we can beat it again. I'll leave you a pm on the argraphobia forum when you join. You will see why. Will make sense to you.

[meggiemeg86]

First of all, 5 kids! You girl go! I've had anxiety before, but I was the exact opposite as you, I always needed to be around people, for fear that something would happen. I won;t go into my story, but I want to help you out. If you are agorophobic, I can imagine it's next to impossible to get out. Are you able to do thing with your kids? Just try to take little walks when no one is around. Just that little bit of exercise will make you feel better. Anyone would get anxiety and depression if they stayed in their house all day and night. Try to break the cycle.  

[Katie35801]

I used to be that way too, it's wierd how it changed it seems yearly. I used to have no anxiety as long as my husband was around, now it doesn't matter. I can do anything with my kids inside my home. I took a car ride with my husband and kids last night for 30 min. looking at Christmas lights, I do stuff like that atleast once a week......but it never makes the daily exhaustion, back/neck/leg pain, dizzy, lightheaded, anxious feeling go away or get better. It's really discouraging.