I am a 22 year old male. I love diving, spelunking and anything Japanese. I'm healthy and have a relatively normal life and a beautiful vibrant daughter and a loving fiancé.
However, I find that I don't like being alone for long periods of time. If I'm at a friends house with them and they go to the bathroom, I'm constantly calling out to them to make sure they're still in the building. They think it's kind of funny, but I get genuinely nervous. If my fiancé is going shopping with our daughter, I'm there. I don`t want to stay home alone. I tried a job that required me to sit at a desk and answer calls, but found that it was too scary without someone around me.
Driving is murder for me. I offer to take our two year old for a ride just to go to the grocery store for milk.
I can't even take long showers anymore. I asked my fiancé to sit in the bathroom and talk to me whenever possible just so I can relax a bit in the shower.
I need human interaction. Even just human presence. A dog will do too. Or a really loving cat. But I can't sit in a room or a house for any length of time without getting upset. I don't even know why. I have a panic attack most of the time, and I will try to comfort myself by gripping something that's been recently touched by someone (Like a mug, or a book, or papers of some sort).
If I'm alone, I feel like I'm losing myself. I can't explain it very well, but it's as if I'm alone with my thoughts, and they don't like me very much. Its akin to being stuck in the bathroom with the resident bully blocking the doorway, and you're the one who he loves to pick on.
Is there anything I can do to help with this? I have no clue. I've been to therapists, but all they do is 'talk' and never 'do'. They don't offer solutions. I would be eternally grateful if offered a way to gradually work my way out of this.
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