Cant leave my ROOM...Please help

[melindazcrew6]

Hello I am a 32 year old woman with 4 beautiful children. On Sept 5 started this Horrible thing called Derealizatiion!! I am terrified of medicine so refused to take the Zoloft and xanax that they had given me. I attend Therapy and Panic group weekly and also see the Dr. I really thought I could doit by myself without the meds. So It just kept getting worse and worse. The derealization was and all day everyday thing. I was so freaked out all the time with the what if's I couldnt concentrate on anything but bad thoughts...What if I have a brain tumor what if I am going to die..I am going crazy and will wake up and not remeber anyone. AWFUL AWFUL. I didnt want to be left alone for one second!!!! On October 25 It got so bad I didnt attend my panic group only to have mymom take me later on up there to speak to the panic therapist who suggested I had been dealing with this long enough.So we decided together that I go to a crisis center.There they helped me get on my Zoloft. I take a half of a 25 mlg.  They want to work me up. So I am back at home now for over a week and I feel a little better not having so much derealization. But I cant seem to come out of my bedroom and dont really want to have a conversation with anyone. I am scared of the bathroom the kitchen and livingroom. I guess that is because that is where all the panic was.? I dont hardly go anywhere and when I do I get all shaky and tingly.I still dont want to be alone at all!!!!I went to my Therapist yesterday and She want to make my panic come on and face it as if was a bully!!! WHAT...I am terrified..I hate the feeling of Derealization and it lasted so long for me and the fear is ao overwhelming...   :sad:  Please help!! They gave me xanax but I am afraid to take them also! Afraid it will make me feel the derealization again!! I took it once when it was REALLY bad and it didnt help..or maybe I was siked about the meds that I wouldnt let it work..I dont know..I just need to be back to normal and active like I used to be before all this happened. PLEASE anything would be greatly appreciated !!! Thanks so much

[MrGreen]

The last thing you need to bring about is total avoidance. That will get you nowhere at all. Take that from someone who spent over a decade in the house. By shutting the bedroom door behind you and locking yourself away you are going to create an even bigger problem for yourself that might be harder to deal with. Advice wise I would say try to tackle things now before the situation becomes any worse. The longer you leave it the more embedded the problems will become. You have already taken this idea that outside of your bedroom is where your panic begins. It is that thought we have to work on. That thought we have to try and change. Even if it means leaving the bedroom for a few minutes to begin with. Set yourself small goals. Nothing major. To ragain confidence around your own home. Your home is just the tip of the iceberg. I see a whole world outside of your home too. That is something for a bit further down the line. Your home is exactly that. A place were you should feel safe. Even if it is just ten minutes downstairs to begin with. Just to get used to the feelings it will bring on. But they are feelings you can't run away from. Nobody has ever died from panic. I can assure you of that. I seem to be suggesting distraction a lot tonight. But it does work. If you had a hobby to do. Or music to listen to. Just to take your mind off thinking inwardly. Just until we win the fight to regain the home. That will be one big important first step. I won't continue writing until this part is read and maybe others can add to it. But we have the medication issue to deal with as well. Trusting them a bit more. Finding the right one for you. It is all there to be done. But let us take step by step. The home is our starter. Moving out of the bedroom. Letting the feelings come on. Not running from them. Facing up to them. it won't be easy at first. It will be horrible. But the more you do this the easier it will become. Like your therapist said. So the home first. Good luck to you. Keep us posted.