I am THE caregiver for my wife who has Multiple Sclerosis, I am 49 and she is 51. She has not been able to move on her own for over 10 years. I love her more than anything in the world and I would never cheat on her or have sex with another women even with her permission. We have not had any form of sex for about ten years, in the beginning it was easy to abstain because she had medical problems that didn't make sex interesting. She cannot move and does not have control of her limbs. I am having some serious issues lately that the lack of intimacy, closeness and any form of sex is giving me anxiety attacks. When we did have some sex in the past I became depressed afterwards because I felt like a criminal having sex with a patient in a hospital. Any help is appreciated, thank you.
I would think a patient in a hospital would probably find sex a welcome relief from the stress, don't you? My first thought is, this is your wife, the person who probably knows you better than anyone ever will -- so have you discussed this with her to see what she wants? You may find there's some mutuality of thinking here, which obviously won't solve everything but might assuage your guilt -- my thinking being, she probably wants to give as well as receive, as most of us do.
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