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Constantly anxious about STDs
I've only slept with two people. My first was also a virgin and we were together 3 years (monogamously). After him, I rebounded with a guy I barely knew. We were both 18 and that was 7 months ago. We slept together 8 times and he always wore a condom and I don't think it ever broke. I recently contacted him to ask if he has had any symptoms of herpes (I tested negative for Chlyamydia, ghonnorhea, HIV, and syphilis after him). He said he didn't have it but that he'd never been tested and never had symptoms. He was with 3 girls prior to me. He told me he'd go and get tested and a few weeks ago texted me to say his doctor "took a swab" and it came back negative (not on a lesion because he hasn't had any, just the skin). Idk how he could've gotten the results of a swab test in a day unless he went earlier. Anyways, 6 months ago I rebounded again with another guy and we never had sex but there was unprotected rubbing against my pelvic area at least 3 times so he could finish. He didn't have any sores and says he doesn't have herpes and gets tested (but standard tests don't include herpes). Ever since, I've been so paranoid. Doctors have said im at a low risk but I'm constantly checking myself in the mirror to see if anything is wrong and I'm always worried about it. They told me not to get a blood test. I want to get back with my original boyfriend but I'm just always so paranoid I have something that it kinda controls my life. I really don't know what to do I want to get past the paranoia. I don't plan on having sex again for a loooong time and when I'm ready, only with someone who goes and gets tested for EVERYTHING. Reassurance or advice would be appreciated :/ I convince myself that literally everything that goes wrong is an STD.
My suggestion to both of you is to get into therapy for your health anxiety. It is the only way you will overcome it............that and getting educated about how STD's are passed and how to prevent them would be well worth your time and peace of mind.
RubyWitch
RubyWitch
OMG, WE ARE TWINS! I have SEVERE health anxiety about contracting STD's. I make sure my partner always uses a condom, but am still anxious somehow. My main phobia is a fear of herpes. My last partner wore a condom, and I checked him for any lesions or bumps but didn't see any. I got tested 3 & a half weeks after him and came out negative, but I am still worried. I check myself everyday in the mirror for anything unusual, and it's been two months now. I've also been recently diagnosed with anxiety and OCD, which makes things worse. I feel like it is taking over my life!
But no, this is a very very low risk. Maybe to put your mind at ease, you should get tested. Have you been tested?
But no, this is a very very low risk. Maybe to put your mind at ease, you should get tested. Have you been tested?
You've written that you have anxiety about STD's which has caused you to constantly and obsessively worry that something is wrong. Since you have apparently never had an STD, this sounds to me very much like a phobia.
Since STD's are a very real possibility for people who are sexually active, for your own peace of mind I would consider therapy to get to the root cause of this fear.
There ARE ways to help prevent contracting an STD. Your nearest Planned Parenthood can give you a complete list and explain how to use some of these devices correctly and the most beneficial vaccines.
Below you will find the current recommendations from The Mayo Clinic.
___________________________________________________________
By Mayo Clinic Staff
There are several ways to avoid or reduce your risk of sexually transmitted infections.
Abstain. The most effective way to avoid STIs is to abstain from sex.
Stay with 1 uninfected partner. Another reliable way of avoiding STIs is to stay in a long-term mutually monogamous relationship with a partner who isn't infected.
Wait and verify. Avoid vaginal and anal intercourse with new partners until you have both been tested for STIs. Oral sex is less risky, but use a latex condom or dental dam — a thin, square piece of rubber made with latex or silicone — to prevent direct contact between the oral and genital mucous membranes. Keep in mind that no good screening test exists for genital herpes for either sex, and human papillomavirus (HPV) screening isn't available for men.
Get vaccinated. Getting vaccinated early, before sexual exposure, is also effective in preventing certain types of STIs. Vaccines are available to prevent human papillomavirus (HPV), hepatitis A and hepatitis B. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) recommends the HPV vaccine for girls and boys ages 11 and 12. If not fully vaccinated at ages 11 and 12, the CDC recommends that girls and women through age 26 and boys and men through age 26 receive the vaccine.
Use condoms and dental dams consistently and correctly. Use a new latex condom or dental dam for each sex act, whether oral, vaginal or anal. Never use an oil-based lubricant, such as petroleum jelly, with a latex condom or dental dam. Condoms made from natural membranes are not recommended because they're not as effective at preventing STIs. Keep in mind that while condoms reduce your risk of exposure to most STIs, they provide a lesser degree of protection for STIs involving exposed genital sores, such as human papillomavirus (HPV) or herpes. Also, nonbarrier forms of contraception, such as oral contraceptives or intrauterine devices, don't protect against STIs.
Don't drink alcohol excessively or use drugs. If you're under the influence, you're more likely to take sexual risks.
Communicate. Before any serious sexual contact, communicate with your partner about practicing safer sex. Reach an explicit agreement about what activities will and won't be OK.
___________________________________________________________
I hope this has helped so that you can move ahead and enjoy a happy, healthy and safe sex life.
Be well
RubyWitch
Since STD's are a very real possibility for people who are sexually active, for your own peace of mind I would consider therapy to get to the root cause of this fear.
There ARE ways to help prevent contracting an STD. Your nearest Planned Parenthood can give you a complete list and explain how to use some of these devices correctly and the most beneficial vaccines.
Below you will find the current recommendations from The Mayo Clinic.
___________________________________________________________
By Mayo Clinic Staff
There are several ways to avoid or reduce your risk of sexually transmitted infections.
Abstain. The most effective way to avoid STIs is to abstain from sex.
Stay with 1 uninfected partner. Another reliable way of avoiding STIs is to stay in a long-term mutually monogamous relationship with a partner who isn't infected.
Wait and verify. Avoid vaginal and anal intercourse with new partners until you have both been tested for STIs. Oral sex is less risky, but use a latex condom or dental dam — a thin, square piece of rubber made with latex or silicone — to prevent direct contact between the oral and genital mucous membranes. Keep in mind that no good screening test exists for genital herpes for either sex, and human papillomavirus (HPV) screening isn't available for men.
Get vaccinated. Getting vaccinated early, before sexual exposure, is also effective in preventing certain types of STIs. Vaccines are available to prevent human papillomavirus (HPV), hepatitis A and hepatitis B. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) recommends the HPV vaccine for girls and boys ages 11 and 12. If not fully vaccinated at ages 11 and 12, the CDC recommends that girls and women through age 26 and boys and men through age 26 receive the vaccine.
Use condoms and dental dams consistently and correctly. Use a new latex condom or dental dam for each sex act, whether oral, vaginal or anal. Never use an oil-based lubricant, such as petroleum jelly, with a latex condom or dental dam. Condoms made from natural membranes are not recommended because they're not as effective at preventing STIs. Keep in mind that while condoms reduce your risk of exposure to most STIs, they provide a lesser degree of protection for STIs involving exposed genital sores, such as human papillomavirus (HPV) or herpes. Also, nonbarrier forms of contraception, such as oral contraceptives or intrauterine devices, don't protect against STIs.
Don't drink alcohol excessively or use drugs. If you're under the influence, you're more likely to take sexual risks.
Communicate. Before any serious sexual contact, communicate with your partner about practicing safer sex. Reach an explicit agreement about what activities will and won't be OK.
___________________________________________________________
I hope this has helped so that you can move ahead and enjoy a happy, healthy and safe sex life.
Be well
RubyWitch
Thank you for your response! I have posted on that forum. It's the anxiety surrounding stds that's troubling me. The constant, obsessive worrying that something is wrong. I know you may not be able to help with the medical side, but I could really use some help with the anxiety side. Sorry if I didn't make that clear in my post, I was trying to give background and got carried away I suppose!
I understand that you have anxiety about this subject, but this forum is dedicated to anxiety and panic.
I strongly urge you to post your question on our STD Forum where those folks are far more savvy about STD's than we are.
I'm not brushing you off, I just want you to get the correct information as soon as possible.
Just cut and paste your post onto that forum.
I wish you the best and if you ever need help with anxiety, we will be here for you!
RubyWitch
I strongly urge you to post your question on our STD Forum where those folks are far more savvy about STD's than we are.
I'm not brushing you off, I just want you to get the correct information as soon as possible.
Just cut and paste your post onto that forum.
I wish you the best and if you ever need help with anxiety, we will be here for you!
RubyWitch
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