Hey, I'm a 20 year old male and my whole life I've suffered from anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, and A.D.H.D taking very many different medications since diagnosed with these disorders in grade 4.. about 2 months ago I was on a medication called Romeron that I took for over a year to keep it under control. It randomly put me in what the mental health doctors told me was a "psychotic rage" had hallucinations and attempted to harm a family member without realizing it. I found myself in the hospital and stopped taking the pill immediately without slowly tapering off.
Scared It will happen again I have decided for the first time in my life to not take any medication at all and these are my problems with that choice:
In the two months that I've been off the medication, I have been getting sicker and sicker, nauseous all day every day, feels identical to being hungover. Sometimes I wake up and start vomiting or dry heaving. I honestly think I'm dying sometimes and every day its the same thing. I thought it could be withdrawal from my medication but cant imagine it getting worse by this point. I don't eat much anymore as I'm too nauseous. and I'm not sleeping at all (its 3:30 am as I'm typing this) And when I do eventually fall asleep I'm in and out of it the whole time. If I don't sleep for at least 7 hours I will feel horrible when I get up, it got so bad I had to quit my job because I couldn't handle waking up to my alarm its like having the flu and now I sleep in till I feel fine to get out of bed.
I feel completely better if I smoke a little marijuana (I even eat) but I don't want to form a habit out of it as I'm not a stoner and don't want to be high all the time... Sometimes if I smoke late at night I wake up more sick than I would if I didn't smoke.
Recently, I have been researching my symptoms for endless hours on google to see whats going on. Today googling more symptoms I came across other people on this website (medhelp.org) saying "anxiety making me feel sick every day" and all of a sudden realized I almost feel "worried sick" like when you think something bad has happened to a loved one and its like the feeling never goes away, I also realized that in the last two months my little brother lost the ability to urinate then found a lump in his testicles and is constantly getting tests done and we both fear it could be bad and with my history of anxiety, depression, and bipolar disorder wouldn't be surprised if this was a major factor for feeling how I do. It would also explain why the weed can make me feel better for the time that im high as marijuana calms nerves. ultimately I believe its either withdrawal, or I've worried myself sick for no reason.
Anyways sorry for the long speech just a worried kid, my hopes from posting this is finding a cure to feeling the way I do and to find out that I'm not alone or dying and it is just me not used being off my medication.
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