Aa
Dealing with anxiety for the kids.
Okay, I will try to make this short. And I must admit that I am a slight bit embarrassed about this, but not ashamed.
I have had generalized anxiety disorder with panic attacks since I was 22 years old. While it was extremely horrible in the beginning, the symptoms have gotten better, but have not gone away. I rarely have panic episodes anymore, unless I am in a specific situation (more on that in a minute). However, I do have the typical overall anxious feeling for most of the day 2 or 3 days a week. The rest of the week, I usually have low to moderate anxiety occasionally throughout the day. There are times when I do not have any at all, but that is usually if I stay home all day.
Before all of this happened, I used to be able to do anything and nothing bothered me. Now, I have found that my GAD has (unwittingly) caused me to develop other more specific anxiety. For instance, being in a place with a lot of people, getting stuck in traffic, especially on the highway – (WORST). And when I go to places like Wal Mart or something like that, I do not get so much the mental panic and anxiety, but get weird physical symptoms such as slight dizziness, detachment, vision problems (these symptoms have always been hard for me to explain – the vision issue is as though everything is really bright and it is somewhat hard to focus – does anyone know what I am talking about and have experienced the same things?)
Anyway, I used to take Effexor, Tofranil, and Xanax, but decided that I did not want to be a slave to pharmaceuticals that only masked the symptoms, so I stopped Effexor and Tofranil several years ago, but still have Xanax handy to take .25 or .5 mg when I am really bad, or when my anxiety is just not “convenient” . Also, I have been trying to face my fears and not avoid doing things simply because I am anxious about them – based on good doctor’s advice.
I have two boys, ages 9 and 10. I have tried my best and think I have done pretty well at sucking it up and doing the things with them that kids their age like to do. However, now I am at a crossroads as they want to do something that is a combination of many of my triggers – Monster Truck show!
To be quite honest, being a 29 year old southern boy, I would like to go myself, but I cannot help thinking of ALL those people – it usually sells out in my town (imagine that!) and that is roughly 5000-7000 people. To top that off, there is the traffic, which I could probably do something about as my brother lives close to the civic center and we could probably park there and walk. Also, the gas fumes, which is probably my biggest trigger of them all. I think it is a huge paranoia about carbon monoxide. But there is a reason for this – when I first started having panic attacks (way before the big one – I am only realizing after the fact that is what they must have been), I thought it was because of carbon monoxide or other exhaust fumes. I used to drive a car that had a bad exhaust (in fact, no exhaust) and could smell it in the car all the time. I started having the panic whenever I was sitting at a light and thought that it was the CO that was causing me to feel that way. Fast forward to now, and any time I smell fumes (indoors) I really panic.
My logic tells me that this is really irrational, but of course, my anxiety disorder is taking hold making me feel like it is something that I need to avoid.
I have already told the boys that they were going to the show, because my wife was going to take them and I was going to stay at home with the baby. However, now my wife cannot go and the only options are for me to go or for them not to get to go, which I do not want. I do not want my anxiety to cause them to miss out. They know about it, but do not really understand it.
Does anyone have any advice on what I should do? I have done the WRONG thing and searched online about the fumes and such and came across some things that made me worry, of course (I really need to stop doing this). Has anyone else with any of these symptoms (anxiety, agoraphobia, etc.) ever gone to an event like this? How was it? Thanks so much for any advice. Oh, by the way, the event is this Saturday!
I have had generalized anxiety disorder with panic attacks since I was 22 years old. While it was extremely horrible in the beginning, the symptoms have gotten better, but have not gone away. I rarely have panic episodes anymore, unless I am in a specific situation (more on that in a minute). However, I do have the typical overall anxious feeling for most of the day 2 or 3 days a week. The rest of the week, I usually have low to moderate anxiety occasionally throughout the day. There are times when I do not have any at all, but that is usually if I stay home all day.
Before all of this happened, I used to be able to do anything and nothing bothered me. Now, I have found that my GAD has (unwittingly) caused me to develop other more specific anxiety. For instance, being in a place with a lot of people, getting stuck in traffic, especially on the highway – (WORST). And when I go to places like Wal Mart or something like that, I do not get so much the mental panic and anxiety, but get weird physical symptoms such as slight dizziness, detachment, vision problems (these symptoms have always been hard for me to explain – the vision issue is as though everything is really bright and it is somewhat hard to focus – does anyone know what I am talking about and have experienced the same things?)
Anyway, I used to take Effexor, Tofranil, and Xanax, but decided that I did not want to be a slave to pharmaceuticals that only masked the symptoms, so I stopped Effexor and Tofranil several years ago, but still have Xanax handy to take .25 or .5 mg when I am really bad, or when my anxiety is just not “convenient” . Also, I have been trying to face my fears and not avoid doing things simply because I am anxious about them – based on good doctor’s advice.
I have two boys, ages 9 and 10. I have tried my best and think I have done pretty well at sucking it up and doing the things with them that kids their age like to do. However, now I am at a crossroads as they want to do something that is a combination of many of my triggers – Monster Truck show!
To be quite honest, being a 29 year old southern boy, I would like to go myself, but I cannot help thinking of ALL those people – it usually sells out in my town (imagine that!) and that is roughly 5000-7000 people. To top that off, there is the traffic, which I could probably do something about as my brother lives close to the civic center and we could probably park there and walk. Also, the gas fumes, which is probably my biggest trigger of them all. I think it is a huge paranoia about carbon monoxide. But there is a reason for this – when I first started having panic attacks (way before the big one – I am only realizing after the fact that is what they must have been), I thought it was because of carbon monoxide or other exhaust fumes. I used to drive a car that had a bad exhaust (in fact, no exhaust) and could smell it in the car all the time. I started having the panic whenever I was sitting at a light and thought that it was the CO that was causing me to feel that way. Fast forward to now, and any time I smell fumes (indoors) I really panic.
My logic tells me that this is really irrational, but of course, my anxiety disorder is taking hold making me feel like it is something that I need to avoid.
I have already told the boys that they were going to the show, because my wife was going to take them and I was going to stay at home with the baby. However, now my wife cannot go and the only options are for me to go or for them not to get to go, which I do not want. I do not want my anxiety to cause them to miss out. They know about it, but do not really understand it.
Does anyone have any advice on what I should do? I have done the WRONG thing and searched online about the fumes and such and came across some things that made me worry, of course (I really need to stop doing this). Has anyone else with any of these symptoms (anxiety, agoraphobia, etc.) ever gone to an event like this? How was it? Thanks so much for any advice. Oh, by the way, the event is this Saturday!
Absolutely - I kept thinking of all the awesome things I can do now - vacations - IN OTHER COUNTRIES (gotta work on my wifes fear of planes first though!), concerts, theme parks - Disney World, etc. So many things! I also realize though too, that it is not fully gone for good. It takes time for one and for two, normally we experience some level of anxiety and a little panic. I just know how to handle them now!
And also, I do not plan on leaving - i love this stuff and helping others. In fact, my wife tells me all the time that I am going to school for the wrong thing - while I am good at IT and love technology, I should become a psychologist or other mental health counselor (what she says). She tells me that I have a certain way (different way) of putting things together that makes sense (I ALWAYS use a lot of analogies!) and it helps people think about things in a different way. Not to mention the fact that I have GAD/panic myself lends to my credibility with a lot of people. I suppose I do like like, but am unsure if that is a good choice. I will have to really think and pray about it because changing degrees mid-stream is difficult (although I have not taken many of the core classes yet - all general requirements for the most part). We shall see.
The only thing I will have to do is limit myself as to how long I am on during the day - I get so wrapped up and time goes by so fast that I get nothing else done! But it is worth it - man I wish I had something like this when I was first having my anxiety and panic.
Oh, by the way(for everyone), NOW my full story with picture is in my journal - I posted my last forum entry before I acutally completed the journal entry.
Have a great day!
Mike
And also, I do not plan on leaving - i love this stuff and helping others. In fact, my wife tells me all the time that I am going to school for the wrong thing - while I am good at IT and love technology, I should become a psychologist or other mental health counselor (what she says). She tells me that I have a certain way (different way) of putting things together that makes sense (I ALWAYS use a lot of analogies!) and it helps people think about things in a different way. Not to mention the fact that I have GAD/panic myself lends to my credibility with a lot of people. I suppose I do like like, but am unsure if that is a good choice. I will have to really think and pray about it because changing degrees mid-stream is difficult (although I have not taken many of the core classes yet - all general requirements for the most part). We shall see.
The only thing I will have to do is limit myself as to how long I am on during the day - I get so wrapped up and time goes by so fast that I get nothing else done! But it is worth it - man I wish I had something like this when I was first having my anxiety and panic.
Oh, by the way(for everyone), NOW my full story with picture is in my journal - I posted my last forum entry before I acutally completed the journal entry.
Have a great day!
Mike
And so, what you have learned is that you don't fear "the thing itself" so much as you fear the IDEA of the thing itself. This gives you a tremdous advantage in handling the next thing that pops up. Very similar to my getting back on an airplane for the first time in many years. Now, when I'm a long flight, I just get bored.
Nice work!
Please hang around here so you can help others who face the same kind of challenges. You're good -really good.
Nice work!
Please hang around here so you can help others who face the same kind of challenges. You're good -really good.
Just as an update - I ended up going with them and IT WAS AWESOME. I had no anxiety or panic whatsoever, even after concentrating on it for so long! I am so happy and to be quite honest proud and relieved that I could face my fears and actually have fun. I really AM getting better - it is so possible to do so (and without a daily anti-..med). There is a longer version on my journal..
Mike
Mike
Well, I am going to do it! And I will be doing it on the front row no less! See my journal entry here: http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/3975
Or you can get to it the usual way.
Thanks everyone!
Or you can get to it the usual way.
Thanks everyone!
I read (and replied) in your journal. How did it turn out? Was it awful and you just made it through, or was it actually enjoyable?
Mike
Mike
(sorry i posted this on the wrong post earlier)
Read my journal entry from Friday Feb 1.
If I could pull that one off, you can do the Monster Trucks!!! I know you can!
Take control, you are the boss! DON'T LET ANXIETY PUSH YOU AROUND!
Good luck sweetie, if I could, I would go with you.
Crystal
Read my journal entry from Friday Feb 1.
If I could pull that one off, you can do the Monster Trucks!!! I know you can!
Take control, you are the boss! DON'T LET ANXIETY PUSH YOU AROUND!
Good luck sweetie, if I could, I would go with you.
Crystal
And then he came back as governor!
Not to worry, I did not take anything bad about you stating that my panic and anxiety was getting worse. I am really easy going and hardly ever get upset. My wife sometimes thinks that I am not normal and needs a good argument every now and then, but alas, I cannot provide as I really deal with things quite well and am reasonable about the scope of what is and is not worth getting angry about.
And thanks for the welcome... I think that I will enjoy helping others and by helping them I can help myself. I have looked to support groups in the past, but have never joined. I know it is awful to say and is no justification, but right now my time is really tight (as you will see in my profile description). I will probably take this up this summer when I am out from school. I need to do something though, I am really tired of stagnating on it.
Mike
Not to worry, I did not take anything bad about you stating that my panic and anxiety was getting worse. I am really easy going and hardly ever get upset. My wife sometimes thinks that I am not normal and needs a good argument every now and then, but alas, I cannot provide as I really deal with things quite well and am reasonable about the scope of what is and is not worth getting angry about.
And thanks for the welcome... I think that I will enjoy helping others and by helping them I can help myself. I have looked to support groups in the past, but have never joined. I know it is awful to say and is no justification, but right now my time is really tight (as you will see in my profile description). I will probably take this up this summer when I am out from school. I need to do something though, I am really tired of stagnating on it.
Mike
I owe you an apology, for having observed, inaccurately, that your panic was getting worse. Perhaps it might be more accurate to say that the remnants of it are just tougher to weed out than what you previously handled -sort of like chasing the last pea around the plate, trying to get it up on the fork!
Understood that you lack insurance. You may, however, find some resources at the local health department, including referrals to local support groups. Have a look and see what's there. I'll say no more for now, but rather immerse myself in your novella and then check in with you.
Thanks for the immediate response -and for joining. You have much to offer this forum, not just in terms of your experience, but a very good understanding of what's going on.
As a man once said...
I'll be back.
Understood that you lack insurance. You may, however, find some resources at the local health department, including referrals to local support groups. Have a look and see what's there. I'll say no more for now, but rather immerse myself in your novella and then check in with you.
Thanks for the immediate response -and for joining. You have much to offer this forum, not just in terms of your experience, but a very good understanding of what's going on.
As a man once said...
I'll be back.
Thank you for the reply, and I did take your advice and join and update my profile. You can read my "novella" :) in my profile. Many of the questions that you asked are answered there and should give you (and everyone else) some insight into me.
I actually disagree that my anxiety is getting worse. Compared to where it used to be - it seems much better, although it could be because I am just dealing with it better than I used to. I do still go to WalMart, but do not like it many of the times that I go!
The only person that could take the boys would be my mom, and I am going to call and ask her. However, one of the issues is that I really do want to go! I would like to experience it - I am like many guys and am down for some high-octane car crushing pointless truck racing! :) The only issue is, of course my panic, and wondering whether or not I will enjoy it. What I am hoping will be able to happen is that I can get my mom to go with the three of us, but drive separately. This way, I can go, force myself to stay as long as I can, and if I absolutely have to leave, then I can and the boys will be fine and can come home with their grandma. While I do get anxious and a little panicky, I am pretty good at forcing myself to stay through it all. I just do not like being place where there is no "escape" if I need it (I suppose this may be a little claustrophobia creeping in). However, in 99.99% of the cases when I am in this situation I never use the escape, but feel better when there is one.
And you are absolutely right about the over-think of everything - it is the single biggest problem that I have and contributes to my anxiety probably 100%. Sometimes I wish I didn't "care" as much or that my thoughts were not as they are. Most of the time, there is nothing in particular that I am worried about. Like this for instance, I am not worried about anything in particular except having the anxiety itself. I am pretty sure that the fumes, while they will bother me, are probably at safe levels (otherwise how could they put the events on?) and I will probably not get sick. I am not worried about dying or anything like that. Just the anxiety and panic. I realize that if something is going to happen to me health-wise, it does not matter where I am at - it will just happen. The funny thing is that I also realize that if something were to happen to me like that, odds are I would be at home, which is where I am most comfortable and relaxed.
And I definately want to be done with the problem. I am so over it right now. It is really just a horrible nuissance.
Unfortunately, I have no medical insurance again and cannot afford a psychaitrist, but am all for determining the cause (if there is any) I was once told by my doctor that he thinks that I simply have an overactive adrenaline gland and this is causing my problems. I think that is begging the question a bit. Which came first? :)
As far as my first occurences, they are listed primarily in my profile, so please feel free to read that.
As far as my decision on this, I am still on the fence, but really want to go. I am hoping that if I hype it up enough in my head (which is going to happen anyway!) that I will get there and it will not be that bad. Or, there is always the possiblity that it could be worse, but that is unlikely - my thoughts are pretty extreme, but at least I am able to even recognize that fact. My logic and emotions are always in constant battle.
Mike
I actually disagree that my anxiety is getting worse. Compared to where it used to be - it seems much better, although it could be because I am just dealing with it better than I used to. I do still go to WalMart, but do not like it many of the times that I go!
The only person that could take the boys would be my mom, and I am going to call and ask her. However, one of the issues is that I really do want to go! I would like to experience it - I am like many guys and am down for some high-octane car crushing pointless truck racing! :) The only issue is, of course my panic, and wondering whether or not I will enjoy it. What I am hoping will be able to happen is that I can get my mom to go with the three of us, but drive separately. This way, I can go, force myself to stay as long as I can, and if I absolutely have to leave, then I can and the boys will be fine and can come home with their grandma. While I do get anxious and a little panicky, I am pretty good at forcing myself to stay through it all. I just do not like being place where there is no "escape" if I need it (I suppose this may be a little claustrophobia creeping in). However, in 99.99% of the cases when I am in this situation I never use the escape, but feel better when there is one.
And you are absolutely right about the over-think of everything - it is the single biggest problem that I have and contributes to my anxiety probably 100%. Sometimes I wish I didn't "care" as much or that my thoughts were not as they are. Most of the time, there is nothing in particular that I am worried about. Like this for instance, I am not worried about anything in particular except having the anxiety itself. I am pretty sure that the fumes, while they will bother me, are probably at safe levels (otherwise how could they put the events on?) and I will probably not get sick. I am not worried about dying or anything like that. Just the anxiety and panic. I realize that if something is going to happen to me health-wise, it does not matter where I am at - it will just happen. The funny thing is that I also realize that if something were to happen to me like that, odds are I would be at home, which is where I am most comfortable and relaxed.
And I definately want to be done with the problem. I am so over it right now. It is really just a horrible nuissance.
Unfortunately, I have no medical insurance again and cannot afford a psychaitrist, but am all for determining the cause (if there is any) I was once told by my doctor that he thinks that I simply have an overactive adrenaline gland and this is causing my problems. I think that is begging the question a bit. Which came first? :)
As far as my first occurences, they are listed primarily in my profile, so please feel free to read that.
As far as my decision on this, I am still on the fence, but really want to go. I am hoping that if I hype it up enough in my head (which is going to happen anyway!) that I will get there and it will not be that bad. Or, there is always the possiblity that it could be worse, but that is unlikely - my thoughts are pretty extreme, but at least I am able to even recognize that fact. My logic and emotions are always in constant battle.
Mike
You're going to get a lot of help here, and you are going to be giving a lot of help here, so before I just wave my magic wand and make everything go away, please JOIN.
One of the BEST ways to get the most out of this forum to work is to JOIN it - become a part of it. Its easy -just click the Join Link -enter some profile information about yourself -even a picture if you care to- and anything you think would help us get to know you faster and better, and you can change this material whenever you like. You will also be accessible to receive private messages when other members click the name you've given yourself -sort of a "push to talk" feature. After you've done that, spend some time just using various features of the forum. For example, to see all the posts or responses that someone has made, just click their handle, go to their profile, click Posts, and read to your heart's content. You may also enter search terms -including member names- in the search box at the upper right of your screen and the system will retrun everything matching the term(s) you entered. This INCLUDES a drug database that will give you both user posts about drugs as well as the medical information about the drug. A great way to get quick answers about therapeutic effect, side effects, interactions, etc.
One of the profile categories is your mood, which you may change anytime you like.
Along the right side of your screen is a section of Recent Activity, which not only alerts you to new posts, but new ANYTHING, including journal entries and mood. This is a way to telegraph the community at large without actually creating a separate post. Thus, if you see a friend's mood has changed while you are working on a response or post, it can alert you to send them a private message to learn more or simply let them know you're thinking of them. Likewise, if you are going to be "out," you could enter something like "off line for the night" as your mood, and people would know you're away from the forum for awhile.
If you do this kind of exploring and experimenting right away, you'll be up-to-speed quickly. If you see the message you are reading now as part of a direct response I (or anyone) has made to one of your posts, it was probably copied and pasted from this journal. I hate form letters and auto-responses as much as anyone -but I also hate forgetting to tell people what they need to know, so this is my safety-net. Consider it as part of your "Welcome" kit. So -please join and try things out.
OK, first things first. People who think all human life is beautiful -have never BEEN to Walmart. My panic has been behind me for nearly a decade now, and I'll do almost anything to stay out a Walmart. So, I'm WITH you on that one.
And it should be obvious to you by now that your panic/anxiety thing is trending toward worse rather than better. And now, the prospect of that monster truck show and disappointing the kiddees has produced a USDA Prime case of obsession about the problem created by the problem. I hated that! Any chance a neighbor or cousin or someone can take the little darlings to see the show?
Your narrative is rich -very descriptive and wide-ranging and well written, so you've got plenty of grey matter on your side. That's good, because you will be able to do self therapy better and faster than others, but it is bad because you'll also be tormenting yourself with a lot of "what if" kind of thoughts -but I'm betting you already knew that.
I'm going to cjallenge the good doctor's advice a bit, as well. I am not a doctor, so my appeal is premised on grounds of logic as opposed to medical authority and is offered for your "consideration," rather than abandonement of medical advice. Here we go:
Yes, yes, of course exposure to what we fear is a way to learn to deal with the fear -agreed. But, taken to its logical conclusion, that just serves to make us good "fire fighters" as opposed to putting out the fires themselves. Anxiety and panic management techniques are a good thing -and so are some medications, but few here (or anywhere) want a life made up of applying techniques or drugs. We would prefer to BE DONE with the problem. So, what I'm getting at -and you can print this out and show it to your doctor- is that the time for some work on underlying causes may well be here. The idea is that in the same way you would find out and deal with what gives you a tummy ache, as opposed to gulping down Pepto-Bismol all day, you would also want to get at the prime movers which spawn the panic. And that means guided therapy -and possibly some medication- under the direction of a psychiatrist who specializes in your disorder.
For right now, I'll just ask you: when were your first occurrences of panic -and WHAT was going on in your life at that time. This is not intended to suggest that there is a "thing" you can discover that will make it all go away, but rather to look for developmental material which, over time, nudged you to where you are now.
Give some thought to that idea, have a consult with your doctor, and let's see where things lead.
Over to you... and thanks for being with us. You have plenty of company.
-S
One of the BEST ways to get the most out of this forum to work is to JOIN it - become a part of it. Its easy -just click the Join Link -enter some profile information about yourself -even a picture if you care to- and anything you think would help us get to know you faster and better, and you can change this material whenever you like. You will also be accessible to receive private messages when other members click the name you've given yourself -sort of a "push to talk" feature. After you've done that, spend some time just using various features of the forum. For example, to see all the posts or responses that someone has made, just click their handle, go to their profile, click Posts, and read to your heart's content. You may also enter search terms -including member names- in the search box at the upper right of your screen and the system will retrun everything matching the term(s) you entered. This INCLUDES a drug database that will give you both user posts about drugs as well as the medical information about the drug. A great way to get quick answers about therapeutic effect, side effects, interactions, etc.
One of the profile categories is your mood, which you may change anytime you like.
Along the right side of your screen is a section of Recent Activity, which not only alerts you to new posts, but new ANYTHING, including journal entries and mood. This is a way to telegraph the community at large without actually creating a separate post. Thus, if you see a friend's mood has changed while you are working on a response or post, it can alert you to send them a private message to learn more or simply let them know you're thinking of them. Likewise, if you are going to be "out," you could enter something like "off line for the night" as your mood, and people would know you're away from the forum for awhile.
If you do this kind of exploring and experimenting right away, you'll be up-to-speed quickly. If you see the message you are reading now as part of a direct response I (or anyone) has made to one of your posts, it was probably copied and pasted from this journal. I hate form letters and auto-responses as much as anyone -but I also hate forgetting to tell people what they need to know, so this is my safety-net. Consider it as part of your "Welcome" kit. So -please join and try things out.
OK, first things first. People who think all human life is beautiful -have never BEEN to Walmart. My panic has been behind me for nearly a decade now, and I'll do almost anything to stay out a Walmart. So, I'm WITH you on that one.
And it should be obvious to you by now that your panic/anxiety thing is trending toward worse rather than better. And now, the prospect of that monster truck show and disappointing the kiddees has produced a USDA Prime case of obsession about the problem created by the problem. I hated that! Any chance a neighbor or cousin or someone can take the little darlings to see the show?
Your narrative is rich -very descriptive and wide-ranging and well written, so you've got plenty of grey matter on your side. That's good, because you will be able to do self therapy better and faster than others, but it is bad because you'll also be tormenting yourself with a lot of "what if" kind of thoughts -but I'm betting you already knew that.
I'm going to cjallenge the good doctor's advice a bit, as well. I am not a doctor, so my appeal is premised on grounds of logic as opposed to medical authority and is offered for your "consideration," rather than abandonement of medical advice. Here we go:
Yes, yes, of course exposure to what we fear is a way to learn to deal with the fear -agreed. But, taken to its logical conclusion, that just serves to make us good "fire fighters" as opposed to putting out the fires themselves. Anxiety and panic management techniques are a good thing -and so are some medications, but few here (or anywhere) want a life made up of applying techniques or drugs. We would prefer to BE DONE with the problem. So, what I'm getting at -and you can print this out and show it to your doctor- is that the time for some work on underlying causes may well be here. The idea is that in the same way you would find out and deal with what gives you a tummy ache, as opposed to gulping down Pepto-Bismol all day, you would also want to get at the prime movers which spawn the panic. And that means guided therapy -and possibly some medication- under the direction of a psychiatrist who specializes in your disorder.
For right now, I'll just ask you: when were your first occurrences of panic -and WHAT was going on in your life at that time. This is not intended to suggest that there is a "thing" you can discover that will make it all go away, but rather to look for developmental material which, over time, nudged you to where you are now.
Give some thought to that idea, have a consult with your doctor, and let's see where things lead.
Over to you... and thanks for being with us. You have plenty of company.
-S
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