So lately I can't help myself anymore.. I normally have everything it takes to control how I feel and what emotions i show... But i have been having these serious thoughts about useless things, important things.. past, present, future, Family, friends, school, and work all at once. It's like my mind is not strong enough to deal with these anymore. They are too fast to process and understand. then they get too slow annoying and distracting. After i managed to get some distance and time to control it, the whole room spins rapidly. I space out for a couple of minutes then everything comes back and i can't remember things that happened through out the day. My mother notices it, I see her watching me sometimes but then i just resurface like nothing happens and try to go about my normal self. Which is always being on point, strict with everything, and always laughing and talking a bunch of nonsense that makes the whole family upbeat and happy. My mother is trying to help me but we don't know what it is, we have some ideas but could never be to sure. I love myself, this isn't about suicide.. this is about suffering with myself and i don't even know what's causing it.
You don't say when this began, but I get the feeling it's been pretty recent and the onset was quite sudden.
I would strongly urge you to see your doctor as soon as possible for a complete medical work up. There are a number of reasons you could be feeling this way and your doctor can rule those out by examining you and ordering further testing. It's also possible he/she will refer you to a neurologist who will probably order an MRI or CT scan. All of these tests will rule out anything organically wrong.
You describe yourself as "always being on point, strict with everything you do, always laughing and talking a bunch of nonsense that makes the whole family upbeat and happy." You also say that after one of these episodes, which your mother has witnessed, that "I just resurface like nothing happens and try to go about my normal self."
This is strictly my non-medical opinion, but it sounds like you can be very hard and demanding of yourself. Perhaps you're even a bit of a perfectionist which is a non-stop job because nobody and nothing is perfect. Maybe this is your bodies way of saying "slow down, take care of yourself because life has a way of taking care of itself."
Please make an appointment to discuss this with your doctor. It could all boil down to anxiety. You have a great deal on your plate right now and it's totally possible your simply overwhelmed. Anxiety can create many of the symptoms you've described. But only your doctor can tell you for sure.
I wish you the best and hope you'll let us know how you're doing.
The Content on this Site is presented in a summary fashion, and is intended to be used for educational and entertainment purposes only. It is not intended to be and should not be interpreted as medical advice or a diagnosis of any health or fitness problem, condition or disease; or a recommendation for a specific test, doctor, care provider, procedure, treatment plan, product, or course of action. Med Help International, Inc. is not a medical or healthcare provider and your use of this Site does not create a doctor / patient relationship. We disclaim all responsibility for the professional qualifications and licensing of, and services provided by, any physician or other health providers posting on or otherwise referred to on this Site and/or any Third Party Site. Never disregard the medical advice of your physician or health professional, or delay in seeking such advice, because of something you read on this Site. We offer this Site AS IS and without any warranties. By using this Site you agree to the following Terms and Conditions. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your physician or 911 immediately.