Do I need medical intervention? Sorry too long

[DollChina]

Background: I have lived in the US for 12 years, came here when I was a high school senior.  Been with my husband for 10 years and just had a baby 7 months ago.  My parents just moved in with us about 4.5 months ago to take care of my baby and they don’t speak any English and there’s no body for them to make friends with.  Before they moved here, I had gone home 4-5 times to visit.  
Dilemma: My mom and I had several big fights already and the truth is I don’t think them living here will work out.  Since they moved in I feel depressed, I am constantly thinking of ways to entertain them.  We live in a small town and there’s not much to do.  They are from a big city and are used to going out everyday.  They are stuck at home during the week and wanted me to take them out on the weekend when all I want to do is to stay home and play with my baby.  I am financially obligated to them as well.
I have lost 15 lbs in the last 4.5 months (not pregnancy weight), crying spells (hold it in most of the time because I am at work), get anxious and nervous toward the weekend (because I need to think of something for them to do) or driving home after work, cannot enjoy being with anybody or doing anything because I am afraid my parents will be upset since I left them alone at home.  My marriage has taken a tow because of this.
Do you all think that I am depressed or am I just making a big deal out of this?  I feel trapped and no way out.  Please help.

[suzi-q]

I think you are feeling so stressed because of the situation in your life...most of us here feel the way you feel for usually no reasons at all.  YOU DEFINITELY HAVE REASONS!  I think you really need to speak to your parents and come up with a plan where you can schedule time for YOU and YOUR FAMILY...do you think they would be opposed to that?  Are they asking you to entertain them or are you putting all this on yourself?  Maybe they will totally understand, or would that make you feel guilty becuase you feel so indebted to them?  Maybe a family counselor can help you out to figure out what is going on here.  Do your parents want to go home, or do they like it here?  Like I said, there are so many variables to this situation that it needs to be discussed...As far as depression and anxiety....I don't feel you suffer from disorders...they seem to be true feelings toward a true problem....BUT, I AM NOT A DOCTOR AND YOU NEED TO DISCUSS THIS WITH ONE!!

[DollChina]

Yes, it's been talked about several times.  They are planning on going back in Jan.  I'd like to talk to a councelor but they don't speak any English.  I just feel helpless and hopeless.  They don't enjoy being here but they want to be with me and grandson.  The living environment would of never worked out.  Culture , life style, and many other things.
I just don't understand why I am still feeling so bad and cannot let go of anything.  I cannot get it off my mind.  I fell responsible for everything that went wrong.

[spade22]

You are definitely not making a big deal of this at all!  You are in a VERY stressful situation and have just undergone a MAJOR life-changing event (having a baby!).  I have a few suggestions for you:

i)  See your doctor.  You could be suffering from postpartum depression which will only add fuel to the fire - it is possible you may need medical intervention.  Also, your doctor may also be able to recommend a councellor that can help you work through this situation with your parents (and there are MANY bi-lingual councellors out there that can mediate and offer productive solutions to your problems).

ii)  Make YOU time, and YOU and BABY time.  I think this is very important.  For instance, everynight make sure that you allocate time for just you and baby - e.g., from 7.00-7.30pm.  This should be time that is sacred between just the two of you, that is parent-free, and is something for you to look forward too.

iii)  Are there any people, that you know of, that are similar in age/ethnicity that your parents could relate and socalise with?  If you dont know of anyone, is there a way you could access a resource that might provide such information?  (again, a councellor might be able to help you with this).  I too live in a small town but I have noticed that we have very strong ethnic communities here which allows people of a said culture to get together and socalise - something like this would take the pressure off you somewhat.