Do I tell them?

[veggielover]

Sometimes I'm not really sure if I should tell my friends about my social anxiety. Is this something all my close friends should know, as well as new people that I happen to meet? It makes me feel like a child that people have to cater to cause I'm not comfortable in all situations. I feel that my social anxiety comes mostly from my low self-confidence. I don't think very highly of myself and I have a really hard time looking in the mirror. I'm great at customer service when it comes to my job, because its more like acting. Customer service is like a role that I play and I don't really have to be myself, but when it comes to social gatherings with peers my own age, I get very intimidated. The people who I am most intimidated by are those who have high self-esteem and are always laughing at jokes they make and even at themselves. I always get uncomfortable around these people, some of them being my own friends. I'm not really sure how to deal with this. I'm 19 years old and I still feel like I'm in elementary school and if I do something wrong I will be horribly embarrassed and picked on by my friends. I never realized how stressful social situations were for me until recently, because in the past I never really spoke up for myself and I probably mislead my friends with a lot of things. Now, I'm starting to stick up for myself a lot more and state my true opinions and this is really hard for me. I feel embarrassed about having social anxiety because I feel like people my age aren't accepting of it. Am I right or wrong? It's so hard because people are so judgmental. I would appreciate any feedback. Thanks guys.

[Dave2436]

My 24 year old son has social anxiety. Unlike you, he has no friends or job. He lacks confidence even thought he is a really good looking young man. I have no idea how to help him and hope that he will learn to control this and take charge of his life. Learning social skills is something that takes time. When I was a very young man I was sort of self conscious too and felt intimidated when dealing with people. As I got older I felt more relaxed and even look forward to social interactions. I still dislike crowds, and probably always will. Once you reach a certain age you realize that people are not looking at you and judging what you do or say. People really don't care that much as they have their own issues to deal with. Relax and enjoy your journey through life. If your friends make you feel uneasy about your social skills, then perhaps it's time for new friends. Best.

[md135]

I think you should tell them, if you have someone around you to help you out or to depend upon then it makes it so much more helpful and easier to get over and move on with your life! i went through hell with me life my family mostly, cos they just couldn't understand when i couldn't sit with them or have dinner with them or go to shops to buy food for myself until i finally said ok i have a problem and i need to tell you, and the support i got was amazing, they got me help payed for everything and did all my shopping it was amazing and very touching to see how much they cared for me! and to be honest if you cant tell your friends or they laugh at you then there not worth being your friends, cos i if there is one thing i can tell you from my experience its that you really find out who is your true friends, just tell them and im sure they well come your house more to hang out so you don't have to go out as much and things like that.. don't be afraid, your not alone, and fear can make it worse so just be proud of who you are and what you have to offer and if people can't see that then whats the point of having those people in your life??? i have surrounded myself with positive nice people now and it has done me the world of good! good luck and keep us posted!

[veggielover]

I feel like I still have not accepted myself and I still try too hard to be someone that I'm not. I feel like I'm really childish for thinking so lowly of myself and feeling bad for myself everyday. I don't know how to accept myself because I'm surrounded by charismatic people everyday and I don't want to be asking for so much help. I never know what I want to do or if my decisions are out of pure selfishness or if I'm trying to benefit myself. I think when I stand up for myself I come off as a rude person..I don't know I'm really lost in all this. I'm not even sure what to tell my friends. I don't want to make it seem like I want them to feel bad for me cause that's what I think they would think, but maybe not...