Does anyone feel like i do?

I am 22 and i have been having attacks at night for unknown reasons. It all started around the age of 16-17. I wake up at least once a week with the thought of someone going to kill me. I will fall asleep around 9-10 at night and wake up around 2-3 oclock in the morning feeling as if someone is watching me. I live in a one bedroom apartment with my boyfriend on the second floor of a three story apartment. I feel as if i cannot close my eyes or else someone is going to murder me the minute i blink. My boyfriend is concerned for me but at the same time he is tired of having to wake up because i am afraid of what is not there. I make him stay up until i can go to bed because i feel if someone is up they are watching for me and will do all they can if someone were to break in. I get up at least 10 times to walk around the house and check every space so i can see if no one is there. I even look out the door to see nothing is there. My neighbors probably think i am on some kind of drug but i am panicking bad. My family does not beleive me and it hurts me that i cannot spend the night at my moms,brother and sisters homes without having the fear of having an attack. I even start to shake and sometimes cannot talk for hours. It takes me 3-6 hours to go back to sleep. Sometimes i wait until the sun comes out so i can fall asleep. My breathing gets heavy and my eyes become restless. I don't know what to do? Should i tell my doctor? I have tried different sleeping pills but nothing has worked for me. I have even went to the extreme of taking a muscle relaxer with a drink of alchohol, it just makes me drowsy and more nervous. I don't want to overdose myself just to have a weeks worth of good sleep. If anyone can help me or give me advice let me know. It would really help me out. I don't want to be afraid anymore because i feel that one of these days i am going to be alone because of this fear and i will probably have suicidal thoughts. Thank you.

[MrsMacDugle]

I'm assuming that this is the 1st time that you've been living on your own.  However, from the sounds of it you may have had a bad experience when you were very young & living at home at night around the time of your attacks that you are experiencing now.

I do know understand the anxiety for which you speak, and I'm still dealing with it myself.  But I did have something horrible happen to me that is why I asked.  Now when I wake up in my panic riddened state I reassure myself without getting out of the bed & checking to make sure all doors & windows are locked because I know for a fact that they are locked I keep myself locked in & no one will ever harm me again.  And the person that I was afraid of that harmed me lives 3,000+ miles from me so they can't just sneak up & attack me anymore & that person was my step-/adoptive-mother.

I'll lift you up in prayers that you are granted some peace so that you may sleep a bit more easily tonight & every night.

Debra

[Ariom63]

I am so sorry to hear that your family does not believe u..but when you say they don't believe you are you talking about your anxiety attacks?  

On the other hand sounds like you have a wonderful boyfriend that is there for you.  However your comment on "should I tell me doctor" bothers me..I for one would say YES, tell them. There is nothing to be afraid of.  The most they are going o do is help you.  I wish I had more answers. I have been suffering with anxiety/panic attacks for the past 8 yrs and for the most part..I have been okay! I do my own thing and love to be out and about. But I have had them at night..and I have found that is the time most people have them because it is more quite..and we start thinking dreadful thoughts. I do not have the thoughts you are talking about either. So that is why I think especially for your age to open up and talk about with your doctor.
We also suffer from this for various reasons. Not everyone is the same nor will the same medication work for the same people. I found out why I was having them during a routine check up. Hyperactive thyroid with a tumor. Which when you are hyperactive, anxiety and panic are some side effects. Without treatment matters can get worse!  Doctors ran all sorts of blood tests and my mind was put at ease. Then there are those like MrsMacDugle who have experienced some horrible events in their lives...and then there are those who have abused street drugs, quite and now suffer from anxiety!  Once again not everyone is the same..we are all different individuals.  Do please talk to your doctor...if you want things to change you have too.  

Please let us know how things turn out...we are always here for you.