Does anyone get this

I suffer from both severe depression and severe anxiety dissorder.
When I wake in the morning the very second I open my eyes, I notice that my whole body is lieraly vidrating. It's a fine tremble that is so intense that it feels like my whole body is vibrating from the core out to every extremity. As if someone is sending a high voltage current thru my whole body.

It makes me just want to take 4Mgs of Xanax and curl up in a ball and waste the day away in bed.

I used to get simple panic attacks years ago. They would come and go like the tide of the seas. Now I am far beyond just simple panic attacks because now days my anxiety level just shoots to mach 10 and stays there forever and never lets up until I take a benzo dose for it and even that doesn't last long.

I also get so freaking tired of my hands trembling all the damn time. Don't ask me to thread a needle.

I always here the warnings about my Xanax. People saying, "oh that's addictive, or you will get addicted at that dosage." To be honest I could give a **** if I become or am addicted to Xanax. I don't think these people seem to realize that the alternative for me is to live in a constant state of ultra high anxiety.

So fine I am an addict because I must take 3Mgs a day. Here I am walking around with one foot in a coffin and my psychiatrist and wife are worried I am addicted to Xanax. The logic boggles the mind.

[jakegorzen]

The reason why you feel worse in the morning is because the Xanax's life has ended by then.

What you describes is "Interdose" withdraws.
I am 100% sure that the feeling your getting is mainly from the LACK of Xanax.
I used to get that also when I was on Klonopin, and before I took it 2X daily, and when I withdrew from it, the first 2-3 weeks in the morning were worse, and I was doing exactly what you described

Ever wonder why you used to be "I used to get simple panic attacks years ago. They would come and go like the tide of the seas"
And now you "Now I am far beyond just simple panic attacks because now days my anxiety level just shoots to mach 10 and stays there forever and never lets up until I take a benzo dose for it and even that doesn't last long.

Tonight, or whenever you read this....take a hour....day whatever and sit back and do some "Soul searching"
Be honest with yourself, and if you come to the same conclusion as me, write me, and we can "Brainstorm" what needs to be done:)
I think this is one of the biggest kind of example that "anti-benzo" docs run too.
We get used to the benzo....it in a way evolves....we take more, and still think its just "our anxiety"

Take Care

[Hensley258]

Oh I have no doubt that the Xanax is actually making my anxiety worse in the long run.
Then again I guess it's a bit of a grey area because my anxiety level has always been high even before I started Xanax. I would get that same feeling in the morning long before I ever started Xanax.

I do notice that when I try to taper down off my Xanax that I get the nasty withdrawls. The irritability is insane when trying to quit. Last time I tried to stop, not only did my anxiety shoot to the roof, but my skin felt like it was crawling and I couldn't sleep for days. I got worried I was going to have a sezure so I started back.

It a shame to have a drug like Xanax that works so damn well for anxiety, yet it is also a demon. It's such a two faced drug.

[mjbrown]

I can certainly empathize with you. I've been on xanax .5mg 3x a day for the past 4 years. I recently had a breakdown where the panic/anxiety was out of control. The xanax did little to help, and my psychiatrist refused to up the dose. I started on Lexapro 4 weeks ago, and it has helped take down the anxiety a bit - at least to the point where the xanax is working again. However, the xanax does not work for very long (4 hours at most), so my dr. wants to switch me to klonopin - which is supposed to be longer-lasting. Have you thought about taking an SSRI for anxiety?

[frue13]

I feal for you.  I think you need to understand the state your are in.  Anxiety is a nasty little bugger.  Have you ever just tried sitting there and just taking what anxiety dishes out?  Meaning if your heart races your stomach turns then so be it.  See you already are exspierencing them any way why not just let it go?   At some point we who have anxiety/panic will have to deal with it.  If not we will just stuck for years in the endless cycle worry, fear, panic.  Believe me I know how yopu feal In two months I have been to the er 6 times drs about 10 times only to be told its anxiety.  i take ativan at night and just let it happen during the day.  1.  you must sleep to beat this.  take the xanax at night or ask for something that last longer so you can sllep at night.  2. then walk out your days knowing nothing bad is going to happen to me when it comes on you.  you may palpitate a bit miss a few heart beats, breathing may tighten up but kep going.  you can handle it!  

I have tried ssri and the only thing that has helped is not letting it control my life.  I must add right here that it is the hardest thing I have ever done.  I get up and go to work and try not to think about it GOT TO LOVE IPODS.  When the sensations come I just say you have been checked out and this to will pass.  If they get severe I sit for a little while and say I am going to be ok.  They real severe and I am not in a place to deal with them I take the benzoes.

I must also preface that I am a follower of Christ and rely on the healing powers of my savior.  This has been the best medicine for me of all.  Try going to a church.  
You can handle it.

[Hensley258]

Oh yea, I'm far beyond a simple SSRI. I burned out on them years ago. I must take the big boys now to keep my depression ay bay. Tri-cyclics combined with two mood stabilizers. If you can think of an SSRI or SNRI then I have taken it at one point or another.

frue13, I gave up on Christ long ago when I discovered that he refused to correct my severe depression and anxiety. IMO, no God would allow one of his children to suffer so greatly. I used to be a very dedicated follower of Christ. Then I decided after years of my loyaly to Christ and with all my heart beleiving in him that he would not help my condition. Now I am so medication resistant that ECT is the only next option.

No God would allow his child to suffer that lot for so long. I still beleive in Christ, I just don't beleive he gives a **** about me and my condition. He had his shot to help me if he wanted to.

[frue13]

O he cares believe me he does.  Sometimes God does not move in the time frame we do.  Also when the cycle of anxiety begins worry fear panic worry fear panic it  is very tough to break.   Se God gives us free will he cannot make your mind do something or else we would be a bunch of robots.  God would say love me and poof we would love him.   Since this disease is self inflicted about 85% of the time he cannot overturn our will. Remeber God promised abraham and sarah a baby they had to wait 20 years for it.
I am sorry for the state you are in and I will continue my prayer for you.  
Frue

[Hensley258]

I don't beleive my severe depression and anxiety to be self inflicted. I never asked for this illness, nor have I ever done anything in my life to fuel it.

In fact I have never suffered a traumatic experience in my life and no one in my family history has ever suffered any type of mental illness. I was never a drinker, never abused drugs. I have a loving family.

I wouldn't say that is self inflicted. Depression and anxiety dissorder are mostly caused by a malfuction deep in the mood regulating area of the brain. It can not be reasoned with, it can not be wished or prayed away, and it simply will not stop EVER until we are dead.

That's what it wants. It wants us sufferers dead because that is this conditions ultimate goal.

My mother is VERY religious and a dedicated Christian. I know that every night for the past 18 years she says a long prayer that her God and Jesus will take this disease from my body and head. Unfortunatly even her calls to God for help have been null and void.

I told her that if one day her prayer is answered and I get better even for only 6 months, that I will give my heart to the Lord and I will attend church every Sunday knowing that he is a powerful god that wants his children to not suffer.

I'm not holding my breath on that one.

Christians always talk about the might and compassion of God and his son Jesus. Compassion? Where is the compassion when I must endure mind numbing suicidal depression that is so bad it makes me collapse at times? That's not compassion.

So perhaps there is a God, but not one that cares for his children.
I have never in my life done a bad thing to anyone. I always would help strangers and my fellow man when I could. I have always treated people with respect and care. I have given my whole life and help to people and God can not answer this one prayer from a person that has done good by others?

It's not right and God should be ashamed of himself for turning a blind eye.