Does anyone have any advice? My fears control and ruin my life.

[Emiley]

Hello my name is Emiley and I am 22 years old. I have just recently decided to look for help with my anxiety and phobia problems. My fears have completely controlled my life for the past 3 years. I have always been a worrier but it has gotten so much worse. I have developed the most horrifying fears of becoming contaminated. They keep getting worse.  For example, I found out that the new girl I worked with had dormant tuberculosis, which is not contagious when it’s dormant.  Yet, I was so scared to go to work. I had obsessive thoughts of catching it and having to be quarantined for a year in order to take medication.  I ended up quitting my job of 1 year that I loved.  When I found out the girl had left, I explained my worries to the manager so they let me come back to work.  Except, this did not end.  I am still so afraid of catching something horrible that I cannot enjoy life anymore.  Another one of my fears, which I think sounds crazy, is cold sores.  It all started when I went to hang out with one of my good friends one day.  I had been friends with her for a while and I had remembered a time when we had shared a drink.  This day, she had a horrifying red sore on her mouth.  She tried all night to cover it up with makeup as if it was the most shameful thing ever. I kept thinking over and over, what about that time a month ago when we drank out of the same soda. I thought about it obsessively.  I had images of catching the virus. It gives me horrible nightmares and panic attacks. From that point on, if I hung out with her, I was always so afraid she would accidentally spit on my mouth while she was talking to me and I could catch the virus. I read in a medical journal that a cold sore is the exact same thing as genital herpes except you  are getting the outbreak on your mouth.  I also read that it causes herpes of the eye.  For example, if you touched your cold sore and then accidentally rubbed you eye.  And scariest of all, I read that a simple cold sore causes 25% of genital herpes cases. So anyway, when I got home from hanging out with her, I would worry about it all night until I felt physically sick.  I would try to reassure myself over and over that she didn’t have a cold sore and she never took a sip off my drink but I was still so worried.  I decided I was too afraid to hang out with her anymore and I started making excuses whenever she called me to hang out. I had given up a friend because of my irrational fears that controlled my life. If I go to work and someone has a cold sore, I am scared to touch anything because of the possibility that they could have touched it and gotten the virus on there.  I now consider getting a sore on my mouth the worse thing that could ever happen in life. I would die than to face something so horrific. I see more and more people with them and it causes severe panic attacks.  If I set my drink down I leave it unattended and I think that there is the possibility that one could have drank off it, I throw it away.  Lately, I've been able to hang out with that friend again. That is a huge step for me, but I am not better.  This is still an irrational fear that runs my life.  As much as I realize that it is irrational.  I still believe it is definitely something to fear, but I know I need help.  I went on vacation last summer, and I and my boyfriend stopped by his grandparent’s house on the way.  She had a red spot on her lip that looked like a sore, so when she kissed him on the cheek, I worried the whole vacation that he would catch her horrible disease.  I let it ruin my trip completely. I felt like I couldn’t breathe.  I can’t explain a worse feeling of fear than that.  I kept thinking how she is in her 70's and she still gets outbreaks on her mouth.  It seems like the worse thing that could ever happen.  The worse kind of contamination. So this is my fear. This is the worst my fears has ever gotten and it has been this scary for me for the last 3 years.  Does anyone have any advice or know any truth to the horrifying things that I read in the medical journal.  Any advice would be greatly appreciated, thanks emiley.

[Emiley]

Thankyou so much for taking time to give me advice! its really nice to hear people tell me to get help because Ive wanted to for so long but I wasnt sure if I should and if it would help and ive been scared. Im sick of being afraid of everything and its nice to here stories of how others have recovered from this so thanks! emiley

[Northcoast]

Hi there.  I too would recommend talking to your doctor about all of this.  He/She can then recommend a plan of action for you.  Perhaps you'll be referred to a Therapist or Psychiatrist.  Don't feel weak for reaching out to professionals for help.  And don't be like me and waste years and years of my life letting my fears get the upper hand.  Attack this NOW!  I regret soooo much not getting help earlier.  Here's a big hug for you!  Call you doctor and get moving toward a solution to your problem.  I wish you all the best.  Everything is going to be okay!!!  

[cnote]

A Psychiatrist could help you greatly. Mine helped me SOOOO MUCH with beating my anxiety. Have you ever talked to your folks about this? If not, id be open about it and tell them.. They will probably most def. support you and they will probably be willing to help you find a psychiatrist to help you. Remember, you are not crazy!!! =) I have all hope that you will get better.

I used to be terrified to get in an elevator b/c I got stuck in one once. But one day I just had to overcome my fear.. and I faced it.. I got in the elevator.. and once I was in... I knew I would be okay! And that kicked my fear right out of the water.

Good luck to you, keep us updated on your progress.

-Chris-

[nursegirl6572]

I couldn't agree more with the wise posters above....JS and lydia really nailed it (as they always do, btw).

First of all...I know your thoughts are irrational...and I'm sure at this point you won't "hear" what I'm saying....but cold sores are NOT the end of the world....pretty much everyone gets one sooner or later.  They are very treatable...and the correlation between that and genital herpes is over-inflated in your mind (without elaborating).  Just wanted to put that out there...they really aren't anything to fear.

If you haven't already....you need to get hooked up with a psychiatrist who can properly diagnose you.  You sound like you are suffering from a lot of OCD type components...which could go along with anxiety and panic, or could actually be more what you are dealing with.  But, getting a diagnosis is step one...and then you and your doc can start working on a treatment plan...and goals.

I think it's safe to say that most of us each have our little phobias...but when they've grown to affect your life to the point they are for you....where you are shutting friends out, and losing jobs...it's time to intervene.

I'm glad you found your way here...you are not alone...not by a long shot.  Let us know how you're doing...hang in there.

Oh...also...just an idea...being that you don't really have an official diagnosis yet...it might not be a bad idea to post this same post on the OCD forum here, just to get the input of those good people as well.  By me saying this...please understand..I'm NOT saying that I think you have OCD...just a lot of similar type presentations...just not a bad idea to see if anyone over there can share with you like JS said....when someone says.."I'VE BEEN there!"...it takes a huge load off your mind.

Best of luck to you...keep in touch.

[RubyWitch]

There are many on this forum who could talk about cold sores, their causes, etc., but I think you have gone beyond the point of believing what any of us would say. Personally, I think you need to take this concern of yours to your doctor and while there, ask for a referral to a good therapist to find out what is behind this rather new found fear of yours. You are painting yourself into a corner and my humble advice is to get out of it NOW while you still can.
Peace
Greenlydia

[JSGeare]

Well, my first piece of immediate advice would be NOT to look through any microscopes, because there's a whole 'nother world down there.

But that's not necessarily BAD news. Were it not for the critters who call us home (or lunch) we'd be some pretty sick people and probably, come to that, could not even live at all.

I think it is safe to say that you, yourself, realize that the extent of your fear is way out of porportion to the actual risk. And so, it is dealing with the anxiety that is your concern -not trying to actually control the stuff around you. THAT said, safety first: it is wise not to expose yourself to anything that might cause a problem.

You said it, and you were right: You "let it" ruin your trip and you are the one allwoing it to invaude your psychological space and emotional sense of well-being.

So, let's get down to cases here and DO something. I can almost GAR-ON-TEE that some time with a psychiatrist will help you uncover the issues which present as the germ phobia. Those nasty little bumps and sores are really tones, I suspect, for more deeply rooted issues which therapy can help uncover -and resolve.

Before too long, someone will see your post and say, "Hey! You've got THAT? I had that!" and they'll layout what it took to work through it.

You've already taken the first big step -you're HERE. So settle in a browse arounf a bit. Maybe type in the word, "phobia" in the "Search this Community" box and see what comes back -LOTS, I promise.

We're glad you're here.