Thank you so much, your words made me feel so much better(: Hugs back at youuu(:
Hi! First thing is to be grateful for such a wonderful boyfriend, he obviously cares very much about you! Know that you are on the right track! OCD is what is causing these thoughts and with the medication and CBT you can and will get better. When it comes to OCD and the way we think when we have it is NEVER stupid, so please don't beat yourself up over this. You were making great progress and hit a bump in the road....keep doing your best to move forward. In my opinion the eating is the only thing you feel you have control of right now. Your thoughts are running rampid and you can't control them, so you do the one thing you can control....your eating. Be patient with yourself and know it has to be done in baby steps. Your body needs nourishment so you need to eat. Your thoughts...as real as the feel are only thoughts and can't hurt you unless you let them. Your mind tells you that "logically" you shouldn't eat....but you know better, so work on eating, little by little. Once your medication kicks in and you've been in CBT for awhile you are going to beat this! I know you're frustrated and scared, but OCD is not something you can beat on your own, you need help and that's okay! Remind yourself that YOU are in control and each days will bring you closer to feeling better. You can and will do this...big hugs to you!