Extreme anxiety and feeling like I'm bad

[Teardrop_]

Hi
I'm 19 and i have a lot of anxiety and I always feel like I'm a bad person or criminal and that I don't deserve any happiness or anything good. I think it comes from a place where I always had the need to be good. Ever since I was very young I was always a very good person who never did anything bad. Now I feel like I'm evil or a criminal for many reasons but the Main reason is because of an event when I was 14 and discovering sexuality and the body. I had to share a bed with my nephew who, is 6 years younger, for a long time and one night I was wondering what it was like to touch anther penis and have mine touched so I touched his and then put his hand on mine. I think what upsets me most is that he was asleep. I never felt any attraction to him or planned doing this. I never did it again either. I only stated to feel bad about it a few months ago And now my depression and anxiety are feeding off this. I also feel bad about messing up some relationships in the last year and I'm also having to deal with legal stuff I feel bad over. But the episode of sexual curiosity when I was 14 really makes me feel so bad like I'm a terrible person.

[sue281]

my 13 year old son is going through the same issues... getting sexual thoughts & isnt able to control them he gets angry & very tensed... he looks frighten whenever those thoughts come on... he was an active kind & productive kid. These past few weeks his been walking under a dark cloud sad & very quiet. What scares me is that he does not talk at school and he is such a smart kid. we have tried talking to him & it works for a bit & then he falls back into that funk of anxiety...he got a MRI brain scan and we are waiting on the results.

[anxiety860]

some people with anxiety will feel guilty about things they did in there past. For example I thought I had HIV because I slept around before I finally met my fiancée. I thought I deserved to have HIV because I slept around before I met her and I felt guilty..... Crazy right??.... Anyways all boys develop differently, puberty is a weird transition for all boys, (and I'm assuming girls of course). Trust me most boys did something strange around the ages of 11-14. I certainly did and I know my friends also did. you need to forgive yourself for being a young curious boy going through a weird transition. You obviously didn't enjoy it, arent continuing acts like that, or some weirdo. You feel guilt, it's now time to forgive yourself and move on with life.