I teacher recently showed me my quiz mark, which was only 35%. I have honestly never scored this low on anything in my entire life. I keep repeating to myself that it's just a quiz, and she even said herself to the whole class that it isn't worth much at all & is more of a illustration of how much we understand.
But still I feel extremely anxious and almost guilty. I feel as if I've let my teacher down (I have an 89 average, 85 in this particular class) and also my parents, who I have no plans of telling. I'm also embarrassed and scared that my friends might find out and judge me. I don't really feel as though I've let myself down... I'm just more worried of being judged and looked down upon. I was on a field trip for another class the day she taught the lesson that was on the quiz and couldn't see her for help before I wrote it but I still cannot stop thinking about it.
I just don't understand how I could have scored so low. When she showed me my mark she was judging me so much, I could see it in her eyes and her "you could've done better" face. It made me feel so awful and I don't know what to do to make myself forget about it! I just keep replaying the situation in my head over and over again. I know that after a few days I'll forget about it, but I want this awful anxiety to go away right now. Please help!!
First of all, I think you are being WAAAAAAAAAY too hard on yourself over a quiz!
Maybe it's different in Australia, but in the US, a QUIZ is just what your teacher explained.........it's just a marker of how well you understood something that is/was being taught. It doesn't affect your grade like an actual TEST does.
I understand that your upset as you've never received such a low mark before, but you said yourself that you were out that day on a field trip for another glass when this particular material was introduced by your teacher. That alone would explain the low mark since you were being quizzed on material you were NOT familiar with. If you HAD been familiar with the material, I think you know you would have scored your normally high mark.
Perhaps your teacher forgot that you were not there the day she introduced this new material and was therefore a little surprised you didn't do as well as you normally do.
When you wrote......... "When she showed me my mark she was judging me so much, I could see it in her eyes and her "you could've done better" face. It made me feel so awful and I don't know what to do to make myself forget about it!"
Obviously I don't know your teacher, but I think it may be possible that you were reading far more into her tone of voice and her facial expression than was really there. Since she knows you are one of her best students, I seriously doubt she was "judging" you. Good teachers do not judge. I think this was your own guilt speaking, not your teacher. As for the "you could have done better" remark, that goes back to what I said about reminding her you were not in class that day and were not familiar with the material.
I think you should talk with your teacher and tell her exactly how you are feeling about the mark you got on this quiz. Remind her you were not there. Tell her you worry about letting her and your parents down and how much you fear being looked down at and judged by virtually everyone including your fellow students.
If you feel you can't talk to this teacher, please talk to your parents or a counselor at school. You have some self-esteem issues that really need to be addressed before they turn into something far more major.
The only way you're going to get rid of the anxiety is to talk to someone and I say start with your teacher. If you are still feeling anxiety about this ONE low score after you talk with her, then perhaps more professional help is called for. But let's cross that bridge when we get to it,
I'm betting that getting this out in the open with your teacher is going to get you back on track and put this into perspective.
Let us know how you're doing.
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