Sorry I couldn't find a section on stress or family dysfunction but for a while now this issue has been really bothering me. I'm not sure if every family goes through some type of dysfunction but my parents and sister used to be communicating great back before middle school until she was getting into a lot of trouble and making a lot of bad decisions which led to her arrest.
After that I noticed a change in my parents they were giving her a lot of attention and punishing me for things she did and also trying to control me. This led to me acting out for attention and I ended up getting all of the recovery and whatnot.
Now our family is just distant, I hold resentment to them and I'm not comfortable around them anymore. I've been researching family dysfunction and we all have taken on the different roles. I was the scapegoat and now I'm the hero. I feel like it's too late to do anything to help our relationship, back when we were in therapy they never mentioned dysfunction and I just figured it out through research.
I read if my role continues to keep up it could lead to stress related illness and for a while now I've been dealing with a lot of stress. My parents don't seem to notice my achievements like they used to and I even asked my dad if he and I wanted to build something in the summer and he didn't acknowledge it.
I'm sorry you feel this way but i am sure your parents love you. You have to remember that they are not perfect either. We all make mistakes and say or do things we regret or wish we could take back. yes, every family has something disfunctional that they are dealing with. it is human nature. the biggest problem we have as people is that we fail to see that not everything revolves around us. what i mean is that everyone has the me, me , me mantality but if we take the time to reflect on what others have already done for us and not what they haven't then we'd all be happier. I was trouble child who thought that my parents didn't give me enough attention or payed more attention to my brother. i gave them hell 24/7. it started when i was 13yrs old and didn't really let up til i was about 21. both my parents worked their bu tts off so that me and my brother could have more out of life but i was to nieve to see that. As i got older i did make some amends for the past but i can only wish that i did it sooner. My mother died of stage 4 breast cancer and that day is when i truely saw my own faults. Your parents will not live forever and they are bonded to you through your blood. Don't let another day pass without mending your relationship with them. you be the bigger person and tell them just how much they mean to you.
It's really difficult to talk to them about that kind of stuff though, were THAT distant and I'm also adopted so that plays in it also.
thanks for your response though, it really makes me think more about the situation and what I can do.
I have three adopted children and i love them like blood. I hope u and your parents canwork out the issues. it is important to hold on to that bond so give it your best shot. if you guys are they distant then the worst thing that could happen is you stay distant and if you dont try then that will happen anyways.
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